a page test for practice i had started a month or two back but had to scrap due to how limited the pacing was. aaa (may redo it)
some rambles under read more? Although its mainly more journal-eque/development archive about things I've learnt a lot this year after the betrayal i've endured and how its influenced these two as a whole because Asher and Fatal are important to me.
Asher had belonged to the friend who played a role in the harassment campaign towards me.
I try my very best to keep him in character to how they characterisaed him as he was a very personal character to them at one point before they betrayed me, and admittedly some influence from the real person themselves sometimes seeps in onto him.
Asher is important to me as much as other ideas of theirs in FV were, and I'm never gonna deny or be ashamed to say it.
i learnt a lot of things this year; that communication (for any relationship) is going to be uncomfortable, it's going to hurt and sometimes cause distressing emotions, but that is unfortunately apart of it;
communicating and setting boundaries are not things like avoiding talking about things or ignoring aspects or keeping large parts of yourself from another person just to keep a relationship going. It is never healthy to hide things if you know that would cause harm to any relationship, etc. Even if it's scary. Not communicating things regardless of how you fear the other person may react is not the right way to go.
i tried to portray communication here with asher and fatal specifically in their healing arc in the feral AU, but the pacing is very cluttered and off putting of what I was going for, may reattempt this one day with more then one page; bit of a ramble with their dynamic but i feel i've worded it poorly 😭 so apologies
(to clarify; Fatal and Asher's dynamic is strictly unlabelled because they personally do not identify with any labels as they find them too restricting for their dynamic with one another + trauma + i think the whole "romantic vs platonic" thing is dumb as relationships of any kind are far more complicated and nauced.)
Fatal is patient and understanding after the things they've both endured but Asher is unfortunately deflective and vague with his emotions when it comes to having to acknowledge things he has done or been through (he has major struggles with accepting he was abused to the point he refuses to use any words relating to abuse in regards to himself). Even though he knows Fatal isn't being malicious, trauma tells him Fatal is suddenly out to get him and he often feels guilty as a result.
This would be taking place in an arc where Fatal had grown out of their naive out look on life and matured a bit while Asher still has to get there somewhere?
Fatal can be sometimes too pushy about communication but that's because they genuinely want to talk things through and try and help him like he does for them, they still struggle to understand A LOT of things due to conditioning from Belial which Asher often helps correct; they aren't afraid to be firm with Asher and challenge his way of thinking if it means for him to be honest with himself and others. Most of the time it works.
If they don't know how to help one another there is boundaries expressed of like "I'm listening but i don't think I know enough on how to help". aaa
old art from early last year but dfsklgkflhthlyk love them
