[alphacrone]

gonna quit my job and move to some random town and open up an ice cream parlor called I SCREAM and it’s only open from dusk til dawn and the flavors are all spooky names like MONSTER MASH MANGO and BLOODY ORANGE and ROTTING CORPSES & CREAM and EXISTENTIAL DREAD and i’ll only be seen at night except for occasional daytime appearances where i wear dark sunglasses and long flowing coats and people will ask me what my favorite flavor is and i’ll say “oh no, i don’t actually partake in…eating…” and they’ll all think i’m a vampire but i’m really just lactose intolerant.

[enchantd]

ramses deserved a better season

[theangeladarling]

Paul: put in a good word for me in jury!!!

me, if i were Mark: hey everyone. Paul says he hopes you all DIE

[weloveshortvideos]

[jathis]

I love how happy the puppy is as the kitten comes to visit

[helvetillinen-helluntai]

Delete this website and only leave this behind

[whitmerule]

This would be so much easier if you’d stop trying to kiss me and just let me HOP DOWN, Fred.

[technicallity]

sometimes I wanna reply “bitch me too” to my mutuals posts but I’ve never talked 2 them so they might not see it as friendly joking so i just dont

[jadefyre]

reblog if it’s okay to say “bitch me too” to you if you’re mutuals

[actionables]

I had a dream that my mom was in the illuminati and they renamed themselves into illuminaughty and when I asked her if I could join she told me they weren’t accepting anyone under 5'5 but I distinctly remember I saw Ariana Grande on one of their meetings which means my mom lied to my face

[daily-showerthoughts]

The generations that covered wood floor with linoleum and put wall to wall carpeting in bathrooms have the nerve to talk shit about “millennials”.

[fyeahbroadway]

[blackness-by-your-side]

[fruitsaladchewits-deactivated20]

[splatoon-names]

[kimreesesdaughter]

Please kick it with your little cousins, nieces/nephews and siblings on breaks when you come home. You have no idea how cool you might be to them. Ask them about school and their hobbies. Please let them know you care and love them. Don’t ignore the kids. Please.

[kimreesesdaughter]

Your little cousins and siblings don’t see your anxiety or depression. Your nephews don’t see your failing grades or that final you didn’t study for. They see the big kid with the cool shoes. Your Toyota Corolla is a spaceship to them. They’re fascinated you can drive. & while you think they need you, it might very well be that you need them.

[just-shower-thoughts]

A vanilla soy latte is a type of 3-bean soup.

[monsterlets]

[atemya]

[dcmultiverse]

King of the Seven Seas.

[theangeladarling]

the "I told ya'll this would happen but nobody listened to me" squad

Virgo, Taurus, Libra, Cancer, Leo, Aries

[daily-showerthoughts]

The fact Elon Musk hasn’t released a cologne makes me doubt he’s as smart as we all think he is.