Boss Up, MO’FUCK!!!!

Donut / 20's / ⁉️ / legally evil 😈 They rolled and smoked all my homies!! 2009 Drain Gang Completionist

[daily-shitpost-bakery]

[playthings2007]

You have 4 minced messages

[cryptotheism]

Me, two glasses of wine in: "yeah so here's an in depth conversation about my identity as a nonbinary person, and my struggles with transphobia in 2023"

Median Center-Right American Dude at the party, also two drinks in: "Damn that's crazy, I never thought of it like that. Man, I'm sorry you gotta deal with this shit."

Me: "Ahh it's alright. I deal."

Random Guy: "People should just chill tf out."

Me: "Damn right"

[cryptotheism]

Random Guy: "So if you're non binary, and, sorry if this is offensive but I don't know the right words here. Like, is it cross dressing for you if you wear a skirt?"

Me: "Its- hm. Huh. I have no idea."

[cryptotheism]

Guy: "It must have been nice to go to school with other trans people. Like, you must've felt safe."

Me: "No actually it was the opposite. It just made me even more upset and confused. I didn't know what being non-binary was. I saw people that transitioned from one gender to the other and knew I wasn't that. It took me a long time to figure this shit out."

Guy: "man that sounds rough. No wonder you guys are upset all this time this sounds painful."

Me: "Well, it sucks until it suddenly doesn't. It sucks and then it rules hard."

Guy: "so It's like working out."

Me: [both of us are now nodding wisely] "it's like working out."

[cryptotheism]

Guy who has only ever played undertale seeing a skeleton for the first time: "holy shit"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:

his wife hasn't been kidnapped

their marriage is not healthy or functional

this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down

his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath

the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers

[penumbriel]

call it Taken… To Court

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#Taken 2: Court

[back-on-my-bullsh-again]

And, for a comedic bit, I want one of the wounded/dying henchmen to just say they're a notary or something and he could have had it done in 5 minutes. And she would have known that had she bothered to get to know the people she employs.

[dogpuppy]

[eschocat]

Pee changing color depending on ur hydration is very intuitive game desigm

[00000000000000z-deactivated2022]

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

[razerbackbitch]

[pukicho]

I am hard to eat with a knife and fork, I am usually served with a side of fries, I am a hamburger. What am I?

[theforcekeepers]

are you a hamburger

[pukicho]

Yeah man

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[maykitz]

[teaboot]

The Armstrong Family Legacy

[animentality]

[tragicwaif]

When they torture u to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂😂😂

[avioletmoonrise]

every now and then I am reminded to my great chagrin that my mother is funnier than I am

[artemispanthar]

do you ever think about how Steven Universe created the concept of Fusion as a rather beautiful meditation on the concept of collective identity, how we are naturally different people (in small ways) with every single person we have a relationship with, how your relationship with a person (or persons) is so unique and specific compared to your relationships with anyone else that it’s practically its own person, Fusion being the personification of the very abstract idea of the collective you that relationship is, how a relationship isn’t just a combination of the traits of the people involved but actually has its own traits unique to the relationship that each individual doesn’t have (or doesn’t outwardly express or not to the same extent), that a relationship is essentially its own fleeting often-temporary person, the concept of a collective you being an I and not a we

and then a whole wing of people just decided “oh, it’s sex???” beyond all logical reason and even when the show had children fuse and people with parent-child relationships fuse decided that that must mean the show was condoning pedophilia and incest and rape rather than realize that they just catastrophically misunderstood the entire premise of Fusion, even though the show literally had the main character sing a silly little song about it in the very first episode it came up in which blatantly spells out the concept of Fusion as “the person you are together”

and get mad about it? ‘Cause I do!

[certified-linguistics-moment]

[mintbees]

if i was a popular minecraft youtuber id just tweet "hey guys stop drawing shipping fanart of me and my friends/coworkers, i only fucked one of them and seeing me paired with anyone else is kinda weird and crosses my boundaries" and then i'd turn my phone off

[aro-throughyourchest]