Color Me Curious
untitled
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
pixel skylines
almost home
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
EXPECTATIONS
cherry valley forever
Noah Kahan
tannertan36
Fieri Frames
occasionally subtle
Not today Justin
Jimmy Eat World
No title available
Claire Keane
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
#extradirty
YOU ARE THE REASON
seen from Iraq
seen from Bahrain
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from Australia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from India
seen from Nigeria
seen from Argentina
seen from South Africa
seen from Mexico
seen from Indonesia
seen from Poland
seen from China
seen from Peru
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States
@theappealoflife
enfp: What are your adjectives?
istj: Don't you mean my pronouns?
enfp: No, I already know your pronouns. What are your adjectives?
istj Uh, what are yours?
enfp: Fluffy and chaotic.
istj: I've never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so fast.
remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp
The International Phonetic Alphabet consonants found in English, with keywords and relevant parts of the mouth highlighted and colour-coded. (Source.)
Pronouncing each of these in sequence is a very strange and amusing physical sensation, and I highly recommend it.
haha look it’s where those noises live in your dang FACE, TRY IT
What Love Means - An Analysis by an INTP
I wrote this on an INTP forum about half a year ago (and I was in a relationship with someone else at that time)…
Rationalizing Love
I feel like I can’t even tell what love is anymore, or if it’s even necessary to ever have. This “feeling” is just a byproduct of hormones as a result of evolution (makes sense to “love” someone you invest resources in), and thus not truly valid since it didn’t consciously come from the real me, as opposed to things like respect, trust, admiration, which are based on observable evidence over time. I thought I was in love in my previous long-term relationship, but after breaking up, I could see that I was simply irrationally attached to and possessive of the person. I have never loved anyone to the point that I know I could do anything or die for them. Nor do I think I can love someone unconditionally (if someone was a great person at first but then started to treat me like crap, I doubt I could still love them). I haven’t had the feeling of love since I came up with this analysis, and I’m afraid I’ll never feel it again.
I still believe that the warm-fuzzy feeling of attachment is still a product of hormones and shouldn’t be given much credit. However, I now realize that I have been associating “love” with the wrong things. Let me throw in a conversation I had with The ENTJ before we got into a relationship:
ENTJ: I can’t stand when people drop everything that they previously valued as soon as they enter a relationship. It shows poor discipline and personal aspiration. INTP: People have different priorities in life, I suppose. If your priority is to have a family, then that’s understandable. ENTJ: True. But no one should let themselves become pathetic and codependent. Look how that ends up for most people. INTP: I agreed. ENTJ: They should teach kids in school about the life cycle of human attraction, the realities of long-term relationships as a rule. Not this delusion pushed by Disney and religious institutions. Statistics don’t lie. INTP: You can’t teach most people about love using stats. I mean, they know the stats, but they believe it’s so magical and fancy that it wouldn’t matter anyway. ENTJ: What is love? An instinctive hormonal reaction in your brain? I’m ranting, but I have a point. INTP: You and I can’t speak for the rest of the population. I was reading up on Lou Andres-Salomé and she had a great quote on relationships: “Two are at one only when they remain two.” ENTJ: Brilliant. My grandfather always said a successful relationship is made up of two independent people sharing a bond. INTP: You have a good family. There’s also this amazing quote I found:
“Of the various pleasures that man can offer himself, the greatest is pride - the pleasure he takes in his own achievements and in the creation of his own character. The pleasure he takes in the character and achievements of another human being is that of admiration. The highest expression of the most intense union of these two responses - pride and admiration - is romantic love. It’s celebration is sex.”
~ Nathaniel Branden in The Virtue of Selfishness
Reading this now, I couldn’t agree more with this definition (especially now that I’m experiencing this kind of “love” for the first time). Many people (and myself in the past) got into relationships for the wrong reasons such as pity, wanting to ‘fix’ someone, loneliness, an attempt at self-completion, physical attraction alone, or simply because the other person is a safe easy choice who happens to be there, leading to unfulfilling relationships based on insecurity and neediness. It’s a hard discipline to develop yourself into the mental state of being completely confident in yourself and also to find someone you equally respect and admire. Hard but not impossible.
I shall rewrite what love means to me as I am now experiencing it:
You deeply admire their personality, character, skills, intelligence, and accomplishments.
You respect the way they think and value their opinions.
You’re attracted to them in every way, and it’s not only based on hormones.
You feel protective of them in a way that you wish nothing hurtful will happen to them, but you don’t baby them or fight their battles for them.
You completely trust them. You know they believe in you and will be there for you when you need them.
You can be completely open and honest with them. You can talk about absolutely anything, no matter how ridiculous or “inappropriate” or deeply personal the topic is.
Being with them is simple. You can both relax and be yourselves. There’s no need to entertain.
You can do your own things side by side in silence and it feels comfortable.
You respect each other’s autonomy. You don’t feel the need to always be together. You still feel the same connection when you’re apart.
You’re with them because you want to be, not because you need to be.
You know how much they are worth. You know this is special. You know this is completely different from everything else you’ve experienced. You know they are here to stay and it doesn’t scare you.
You know that describing your relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t enough. You are confidants, partners in crime, mindmates, lovers, a team with a strong bond.
And when all of the above is mutual.
-eilamona [ 🎁MBTI Merch | Unusual Career/Life Journey Podcast ]
4 years and still true yo
Sounds even more difficult than what I’ve imagined until now, and I was already pessimistic about this
So you think love isn’t just about hormones and physiological human needs? I don’t just mean sex, of course, but the purpose of love, as it is with many other emotions, is that of creating an ambient that is safe and secure for the offspring and similiar reasons. Aren’t all emotions caused by hormones more than by conscious choice? (that would be very nice but unfortunately it doesn’t happen lol)
I’m fairly young, and when I’ve been in love I was more like obsessed for the unhealthy reasons you say. The kind of love you describe sounds exactly like what an healthy relationship should be but at the same time sounds so… unattainable?
But love shouldn’t be unattainable since it’s an essential part of life, if not an expression of life itself.
I’m done with this. At least I’m capable of realizing when it’s unhealthy. But when it’s healthy? Lol I’m supposed to be healthy myself first haha
I think the basis of “love” is that hormonal attraction. But if you chase everyone you feel an attraction to, I doubt you’d have an equally good relationship with all of them.
What I’m saying is that, on top of that hormonal attraction, you should choose whom to be with based on all these other things.
Having a meaningful relationship is a skill. I don’t think you should wait until you’re totally healthy to date and get into relationships. Trying out a bunch of relationships is a part of becoming healthy and knowing what you want from yourself and your partner.
But you should know your flaws and what you’re getting into. Like, if you choose to date someone because they just happen to be the only one who confessed to you in 5 years because you’re lonely, even though you don’t actually like them that much, you should be fully aware of that and not fool yourself.
The kind of love I describe is definitely not unattainable (which is frankly my personal definition, and you should come up with your own). I’ve done it, despite my years of terrible trust issues and mental health problems. My friends the ENTP x INFJ couple in their early 30s have been in that kind of relationship for 7 years. Another ISFP x ENTJ couple for 13. I could probably list more if I really want to.
ps. You might wanna see this other post too.
-eilamona
Mh, nice. Thanks for the advice.
To answer to your edit: ooh, so you don’t mean it has to last like… forever
Sounds terrifying anyway and maybe not unattainable but very rare so yeah that’s just me being edgy
Also thanks for the link, you’re right, but like…
Have you done all the work to improve yourself to become an attractive person? And you know I don’t mean just looks. It’s your character, your personality, your attitude, the way you interact with people, the way you take care of yourself - basically, your whole life that you present to others.
There’s no way I’m doing this thing. Like making your whole life revolve around what you present to others, in order to be attractive…? I’m sure you have a better way to put this and I’m just misunderstanding.
Also last but not least:
You said you shouldn’t get in a relationship for the wrong reasons
But you also said that one doesn’t have to be totally healthy to start dating, and that trying a bunch of relationships is necessary to become healthy
Could you explain this a little bit better?
First of all, sorry if I seem to contradict myself with inconsistent wording. I wrote that first post like 4 years ago and I didn’t actually reread it in detail before answering you lol. I still agree with most things in that post, though.
Developing yourself to become “attractive”
This is basically the same thing I said in this post: Social skills for INTP/Enneagram 5/reserved introverts under “Mastering social skills requires a little image-management.”
I can give you an example that I did. I used to be a very sarcastic person. Not just some funny, light sarcasm—I was dishing out hurtful insults constantly. Honestly, I probably only got away with it because I looked like a cute girl. I’d do it even more often when people who were close to me or trying to get close because I had fucked up trust issues.
Then there was a time where I reflected back on how I was acting towards others and decided that I didn’t want to be like that anymore. I then actively tried to stop being sarcastic, starting with apologizing when I sarcastically insulted friends out of habit, to stopping myself from voicing sarcastic thoughts, to now not even having those thoughts anymore. It took years, but it’s what I consciously decided to do, and it worked. I also like myself much much better this way, and I have way better relationships with people close to me.
Of course, the definition of “attractive” you aim for should be entirely your own. Think of the best version of yourself that want to be and aim for that.
Reasons to get into relationships
I don’t think I said that you shouldn’t get into relationships until you’re fully “healthy” or shouldn’t get into relationships for the wrong reasons.
To quote the first post:
Many people (and myself in the past) got into relationships for the wrong reasons such as pity, wanting to ‘fix’ someone, loneliness, an attempt at self-completion, physical attraction alone, or simply because the other person is a safe easy choice who happens to be there, leading to unfulfilling relationships based on insecurity and neediness.
I have gotten into MANY relationships based on those reasons, and they were exactly why those relationships didn’t work out. I even hated myself more because of how I acted in some of them. But just go date people and learn from it. I definitely wouldn’t have learned that those were the wrong reasons if I didn’t try.
If you decide to get into a relationship for these reasons, go into it with your eyes wide open. Don’t lie to yourself that you choose that person for anything that’s untrue. Observe how you really feel, how you act with the other person (which might be a surprise), what makes you happy and unhappy, what makes you like yourself more or hate yourself more, etc.
Again, you should define your own definition of love and what you want from your partner. I was simply sharing mine.
-eilamona
i do UNDERSTAND both of you so much. @intp-again @eilamona. it’s so easy to slip into extremes and presume that it’s unreal for me… On the other hand eilamona explained it perfectly… the best version of yourself is an idea I love. To do my shit the best way I can. then I will be interesting for like minded people who are not dragging me down but who will help me develop everyday. That’s the key.
To do my shit the best way I can. then I will be interesting for like minded people who are not dragging me down but who will help me develop everyday.
Yes, that! :D
I wouldn’t have so many friends who love to explore new ideas and share new things they learn constantly if I didn’t develop the social skills and the confidence to share my own ideas and things I learn to random people I meet first. If I were still reclusive and sarcastic, I wouldn’t have the awesome friends I have now (whom I genuinely really like).
No one breaks your heart more than you do by overthinking every goddamn little thing
The world’s most beautiful libraries via The Guardian
Libraries included in this photoset:
Stiftsbibliothek Sankt Gallen, St Gallen, Switzerland
Trinity College Library, Dublin, Ireland
Biblioteca Statale Oratoriana dei Girolamini, Naples, Italy
Biblioteca do Convento de Mafra, Mafra, Portugal
Siftsbibliothek Kremsmünster, Kremsmünster, Austria
Biblioteca Joanina, Coimbria, Portugal
Stiftsbibliothek Admont, Admont, Austria
Real Gabinete Português de Leitura, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Strahovská Knihovna, Prague, Czech Republic
you should never date someone for the sake of dating someone. you should be good friends, if not best friends with your partner. if you cant go to your partner for personal advice, if youre afraid to call your partner out on something, if you cant laugh and have fun with your partner, or if your conversations are only ever performative affection, you don’t have a good relationship
Bye I saw someone’s name listed as Jim and my first thought was “oh so his real name is Jimothy”
Okay but autocorrect didn’t say l was wrong so maybe this isn’t as stupid as l thought! Somebody out here is named Jimothy
[Texting]
Person: K
Five: Well, Potassium is a very nice element
Five: Very reactive
Five: Unlike that response you just gave
Type four, down to the creepiest of details.
Type 5
@vaporwavekiwi and @surreal-meme wish you a very happy 2018, may it be filled with surreal memes and cheese
Some small pieces of advice for my younger siblings just getting used to this whole “adolescent/growing up” thing:
Sometimes, showering is a lot harder than people say. This is why dry shampoo, deodorant, and body spray are great.
Everyone else is too caught up in their own insecurities to notice yours.
(But sometimes people will take out their own insecurities on you, and they’ll be able to notice your insecurities and they’ll berate you for them. These people are huge jerks, but totally not the majority)
Some people (primarily girls) in highschool get up two hours early to do their makeup, and that’s good for them if they genuinely enjoy it!
Most people roll out of bed with no makeup at all, or they quickly slap on foundation and chapstick. These are both totally normal and no one will care.
Relationships (romantic, platonic, familial, etc.) shouldn’t bring more negativity and stress into your life than they bring good. Don’t put “the loyalty you owe them” or “being kind” above your own wellbeing.
Unless you’re a naturally very oily/sweaty person, you can totally get away with wearing clothes more than once for everyday wear.
Relationships can be really hard, it’s fine to focus on yourself instead of seeking out romantic partners.
You know yourself a lot better than a lot of adults give you credit for. If you feel something is a strong, integral part of your character, it’ll probably stick around.
That being said, phases aren’t inherently bad. Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary things you might later regret, but “going through phases” is a normal, healthy part of development.
If someone creeps you out, trust your gut. It might be nothing, it might be a life or death thing, but why have a friendship with someone who gives you bad energy, anyways?
No one truly experiences their gender and sexuality the exact same way. It’s fine to not relate 100% to the mainstream depiction of a label, but have it be “close enough”. Don’t stress too much.
Life can suck sometimes, but living shouldn’t be painful.
If you’re always sad and exhausted, or shaky and panicky, or have severe “teenage mood swings” making it hard to function, that isn’t normal. You are entitled to help for this, and there’s people who want to help you.
If something is threatening your friend’s life, you need to tell someone. Your friend might be mad, they might hate you for it, but if it keeps them safe, please tell an authority that you can trust to help them.
Menstruation isn’t supposed to hurt so bad that you have to stay home from school, or that you throw up anything you eat. There’s help for this. This doesn’t have to be something that your body is just “cursed with”.
There’s tons of people out there who will love you. Even if you feel isolated in your current circumstances, you’re not an unlikeable person who will only ever have friends online. You’re going to meet people just as weird as you are.
You have something wonderful to give the world. You’re loved. Stick around, kiddo.
