conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 79 (masterpost here)
Jason, over the roar of a motorcycle engine: y'ello. just you tonight?
Dick: heyyy, littlewing! yeah, i'm just keeping an eye on some stuff, it's kinda quiet tonight. whatcha' up to?
Jason: actually i'm on my way back from an out-of-town mission and i'm passing Blud. figured i'd swing by rather than go all the way to Gotham tonight, if you aren't busy.
Dick: sounds good to me. wanna meet up and finish my patrol with me? was gonna get pizza on my way back home.
Jason: i'm down, where should i go?
Dick: uhh, 'bouta come up to Stark Ave, if you wanna cross lines there?
Dick: did you hear the latest bullshit going down over at the manor?
Jason, dry: 'latest bullshit' could be anything from some shit Damian did two weeks ago to something Tim did this morning; you gotta be more specific.
Dick: i was over there a few days ago and got the gossip from Alfred. *amused* B's mad at Damian because he thinks Damian's a bully at school.
Jason: oh yeah, i was there when that started. he's still on that?
Dick: you knew and didn't tell me?!
Jason: sorry. it's bullshit anyway, i just figured B would forget before we even got back to the cave. they're still going on about it?
Dick: they were arguing for hours. did Damian even do anything?
Jason, instantly: oh, yeah. he did that shit. 100% guilty.
Dick, in disbelief: what?! are you telling me my baby brother is a bully?! Jason, you were supposed to raise him better than that!
Jason: no- *wheeze* no, you're misunderstanding me. yeah, he's beaten a couple people up and made some kids cry, but he isn't a bully.
Jason: not intentionally, anyway. *engine cuts out* i'm here by the way.
Jason, defensive: well- you know how Damian is!
Dick: less and less as the days go by... i'm above you, look up.
Jason: *chuckle* alright, alright that's fair. but you know how like, quick-witted he is? he's got the silver tongue of a fucking snake, it's annoying how good he is at insulting people.
Dick: oh yeah. i've been saying since he showed up in Gotham that we need to get that little guy into a debate team. he'd sweep.
Jason: exactly! but the problem is he also doesn't have any kind of regulation about appropriate levels of harshness in response to other peoples' insults, right? like... if somebody comes at you with a level one insult, then the correct response is a matching level one rebuttal or a level two if you want to shut them down. level three if they're an ass--but you get me, right? there's rules.
Dick, snorting: ok, yeah, i get it. Damian does not play by those rules ever.
Jason: exactly! this fucker's going around like it's a constant free-for-all!
Dick: -one time i told him he looked kind of like a chipmunk when he scrunches his nose and gets all annoyed. he looks me straight in the eyes and without missing a beat tells me, 'and you look like an echo of the man Mary and John Grayson wanted you to be. i bet you fall asleep at night thinking about how disappointed they would be if they could see the mess you've grown up to become.'
Dick: -aND I WAS LIKE DAMN KID? FRIENDLY FIRE?!
Jason: SO YOU- *cackle* SO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN-?!
Dick: yeah, but i thought it was just a family thing! are you telling me that he's pulling that shit with innocent school children?!
Jason: *still cackling* no you- *choke* you gotta- you gotta give Day a break, man. he- *wheeze* he doesn't mean to,
Dick, starting to laugh incredulously: how is he not meaning to-?!
Jason: well he's- *laugh* he's not the one starting it, you know? like- these kids aren't completely innocent. the issue is, kids try to pick on Damian with their lame-ass level two insults, and- *wheeze* Damian keeps turning around to smack them across the faces with instant level ten shit-,
Dick: *wheezing* Damian no,
Jason: -and then these other kids start crying and snitch on Damian to their teachers, and when the teacher is told what happens it's shit like 'i told Damian he was a rich bitch and he told me i deserved my uncle's cancer diagnosis',
Jason, struggling to keep composure: e- *breathless wheeze* exactly! so obviously, it comes off that Day's a bully when in reality he's just an idiot who doesn't understand the concept of pulling your verbal punches when shutting down people stupider than you.
Dick: *delirious* god, this kid-! you gotta feel bad for the other students, right? those poor guys, having to grow up alongside Damian Al Ghul.
Jason: they'll fuckin'- they'll learn quick, that's for sure. you know it's not just verbal, right? i picked him up from school once and as he came down the steps towards my car some kid tried to trip him up; he turned with the speed of a fucking horror movie villain, grabbed the kid by the head and smashed him against the wall. then kept on to my car like nothing had happened.
Dick: oh my god. what did you do?
Jason: *snort* fuck'm'i suposed to do? i checked the kid was still alive and then bought Damian an ice cream.
Dick: OK- well no fucking wonder he's like this; with you raising him!
Jason, defensive: sue me for wanting the kid to not be afraid to stick up for himself! i don't want my kid being bullied by some twats in a Gotham private school.
Dick: aw, don't want him to go through the hell you did?
Jason, confused: what hell? i wasn't bullied.
Dick: ...wait. you weren't?
Dick: WHY WEREN'T YOU BULLIED?
Jason, in awe: holy shit you were bullied weren't you?
Jason: *loud cackling* oh my god, you got bullied?!
Dick: *sputtering* i- ok well- i- fucking- a little bit, but to be fair i didn't know until years later that it was bullying so it barely counts!
Jason: how the fuck do you not know if you're being bullied or not?
Dick, indignant: well! i was very in my own head when i was in school! i didn't realise they were mocking me. they would just- *slight wheeze* they would just yell shit like 'hey circus boy, do a trick for us!' and my delusional-ass would just be like 'cool! gymnastics at school!' and i'd do one. i didn't really clock that-
Jason: *loud wheeze* that they were just-
Dick: -yeah they basically just made me into their circus pet in an attempt to belittle me, and i just liked doing the circus stuff so much that i didn't realise it was supposed to be belittling.
Jason: *laughing loudly* god- you make me so happy.
Dick, annoyed: i can't believe you weren't bullied. this is such bullshit, you were literally a weird street kid dropped into the most expensive school in the city. nobody gave you a hard time?
Jason: no? i- i mean- i'm sure they would have, had i given them the chance? but i didn't speak to anybody. i don't actually think anybody knew i attended that school. like- nobody from any of my classes went to my public funeral, right?
Dick, pointedly: how would i know? i wasn't there.
Dick, snickering: no i- i did check the logs after i came back and found out; come to think of it, i don't think anybody from your school showed up.
Jason: see, exactly. i was in and out of that place like the wind. didn't speak to nobody, sat in the back of every class, did my work perfectly to avoid speaking to my teachers--i used to climb over the fence and eat lunch in that etsy witch's store a couple streets over to avoid social interaction. Stella knew more about me than anyone at Gotham Academy; i was invisible.
Dick, dubious: you used to eat lunch with an etsy witch?
Jason: yeah. paid her one time to cast some kind of spell on me that would make nobody in class want to talk to me. i was dedicated to this shit.
Dick: ok, so what you're saying is you would have been bullied in high school, but you got away without being bullied because you just didn't have any friends.
Jason: yeah. it was less that people weren't interested in making my life hard, and more just... people didn't think i was interesting point blank.
Dick: that does make me feel a lot better about me being bullied.
Jason: *wheeze* shut up, dickhead.
*three seconds of silence*
Jason: 'kids in Tim's school used to call him Young Sheldon.
Dick: ohmygod that's genius-
