Assbutt Chronicles

He/ Him 32

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[charaznablescanontoyota]

words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening

[ryannorth]

much to consider

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

[red-eye-radio]

So I thought y'all would like this too This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month A true gay icon

[victoryyodel]

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[icantspellthings]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[theassbuttchronicles]

I was pretty highly skeptical of the Noah Wylie allegations regarding the way he conducted himself on ER and is conducting himself on The Pitt regarding the ego trips and misogyny. The comments he has made the past few weeks have kinda moved the needle on my skepticism, but Supriya’s comments today absolutely convinced me that something more than just tactless showrunning happened and Noah was directly involved. I really love the show but I’m developing a distaste for Noah, particularly in light of the Zionism “allegations”. I think that the good the show does for healthcare workers and the opportunities for a lot of these young, working class, and POC performers outweighs the harm supporting Noah and others involved with the same proclivities… for now. HBO/ Max/ Warner/ Paramount need to realize that, while the show runners and executives might think that behavior and those views are acceptable, many of the people they want money from don’t. They need to either remove Noah from decision making processes or get better about PR because letting Noah write and direct and produce and be THE star in a show where there are absolutely issues with the way women of color are written and treated (tbh to a lesser extent the white women also), allegations of weaponizing these positions of power to take these opportunities from women of color if they publicly align with antizionism, allegations of super toxic egotism, and a very clear Zionism infection baked into the very DNA of the show during the very widespread fall of Zionism as an acceptable ideology are making him the fall guy for a show that had all the trappings of a culture defining landmark. It would be tragic if something so full of hope for the industry and for society had to fail because of one man’s ego.

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[crippled-peeper]

USAID being defunded followed by the worst Ebola outbreak in decades is not a coincidence

[crippled-peeper]

I cannot imagine a worse way to die than from Ebola in a tent without even lights or a fan because there’s no electricity or gasoline to run a generator. All because a greedy, rotting, pedophilic 80 year old man on the other side of the planet wants to play golf and buy Rolexes with the funds that would’ve gone to those things

hell world

[saulwexler]

Hey did you draw that evil feminist caricature to warn men how their wives would act once they got the right to vote? Illustrator: sure did boss. real sexy, just like you asked.

[autisticlittleguy]

"Grace Ryland is Rocky's dog" is such a funny fucking dynamic when you think about it

Eridians are further behind than humans technologically right? They dont have computers, relativity, quantum mechanics, etc. In fact, Eridians probably dont even know about the Big Bang because their atmosphere would filter out most of the cosmic microwave background radiation we use to detect it. On a human timeline, theyre anywhere between like early-mid 20th century. Rocky's basically a cosmonaut.

So the human civilization is pretty advanced from Rocky's perspective. Rationally he understands this. On a conceptual level he knows this to be true.

But at the same time... imagine youre one of the first ever cosmonauts to make it into space. Then you meet a 10 year old alien dog who cant do 2+2 without pulling out its calculator. It forgets everything constantly and has to keep notes everywhere, like it basically lives in Memento (2000). Also if it doesnt nap constantly it gets even stupider. And you somehow has to reconcile this with the fact that this dog has a better understanding of physics than your entire civilization does. Like the dog knows how the universe started.

[learn-how-to-love]

I found out today that there was a (thankfully very ill-fated) attempt to have the entire Wikipedia article on discrimination against transgender men deleted. At first I thought the perpetrator was yet another bargain bin transphobe/TERF act of disruption but apparently not so, she is a trans woman. The user in question had been disputing the use of transandrophobia in the article as being inappropriate, but as other editors pointed out, the way in which it was used was as to be expected (basically saying “hey this term is being used commonly right now in places to describe this phenomena”). When attempts to get the article edited to remove any mention of the term failed, this user instead decided to just nominate the whole article for deletion instead. She even went as far as to say “you will never be a man” to the editors disputing this, though it was quickly deleted. It’s the actions of only a single person, but I find this indicative of how the chronic devaluing and othering of transmasculine people and voices in faux-transfeminist spaces leads to action basically indistinguishable from cis transphobes. Resorting to attempted vandalism of an online resource and blatant transphobia is a symptom of this trend that deserves absolutely no patience at this point.

[professorfcknmoriarty]

[transmasc-theory]

Most of society only sees trans men as trans, but most of the queer community only sees trans men as men.

Trans men don't get to be both trans and men. They are one or the other depending on which one can be better used to hurt them.

[nobodysflower]

i’m ready for june. the purest month. the friday afternoon of summer, when the world hums with possibility. when spring kisses summer on the cheek, leaves behind a trail of ferns and dew. june is packing your suitcase for a trip. june is a sprinkler in the lawn. june is goodbye and hello all at once. every day feels like the first moment after you wake up, when the dreams still stick to your skin. we wander dazed and hazy in the infant months of heat and sun. we are lovely and unafraid

[rovermcfly]

rocky's crew dying from radiation exposure, something humans go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of and grace's crew dying in their "sleep" with nobody watching, something eridians go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of. cool book that is easy to read through your tears.

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.