Theatre Is Weird Sometimes,

But this is why we art.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

Some times it’s good to spice up a production report, just to make sure everyone is reading them...

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

We’re dead.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

Sometimes you wonder what happened to all the red makeup...and then you remember a character has to fall asleep in a tanning bed.

Alternate Bonus Caption:

“How’s my back look?”

“Not too hot...BURN.”

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

Just a little set decoration.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

I know these all these words independently, but um...wut.

When working in devised theatre, don’t forget to bring a translator.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

Finding new and creative uses for board tape.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

No one was told to do this, but she found the order soothing amid the chaos.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

When you ask technicians to dress up in costumes for a parade... weird stuff happens.  

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

Just another day at the offi--

OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL WHY

[q2qcomics-deactivated20200929]

What's worse to work with in a stage production: glitter or raw food/meat?

From a sound perspective, I’m indifferent to both.

But I personally hate glitter and all its malignant forms.

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

No glitter. No musicals. No confetti canons. Let it be known:   q2qcomics is no fun. 

[housetohalf]

On the other hand, all the raw meat you can put on a stage, apparently.

[no-oath-no-spell-deactivated201]

BIG. MEATY. CARPS.

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

Mmmmmmm. Sounds like my kind of stage. 

[housetohalf]

Sorry I’m trying to imagine a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream or The Importance of Being Earnest where everyone is just wading through a stage that’s ankle deep in various types of raw meat, but no one’s commenting on it.

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

Oh god the meat would have to be changed every day so it wouldn’t rot. The goddamn budget on that. And YOU KNOW there’s at least one actor that’s going to be like “Okay but I can’t touch pork.” And then we have to paint beef to look like pork, what a nightmare! 

[q2qcomics-deactivated20200929]

No, no. See, the rot is part of the play. The meat wouldn’t get changed every show, it just get’s turned over. It’s about the decay of modern society. JUST BECAUSE IT’S A COMEDY DOESN’T MEAN WE CAN’T HAVE FOUR INCHES OF ROTTING MEAT ON THE STAGE!

[antlerlessstag]

Better yet, because it’s a comedy there SHOULD be four inches of rotting meat on the stage.

Make four inches of rotting meat the industry standard!

[q2qcomics-deactivated20200929]

PETITION TO MAKE FOUR INCHES OF ROTTING MEAT AN INDUSTRY STANDARD.

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

GIVE ME FOUR INCHES OF ROTTING MEAT OR GIVE ME DEATH. Oh god that’s oddly sexual AND Necrophiliac-tic?

[housetohalf]

yes, and I need it on a button for USITT 2016.

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

I think we need buttons for “MAKE FOUR INCHES OF ROTTING MEAT THE INDUSTRY STANDARD”, “BIG. MEATY. CARPS.”, and “MEATGATE2K15″ as well.

I need them. 

[housetohalf]

Even in a weird industry, we manage to be the weird ones. Maybe people with think it’s a Welcome To Night Vale reference?

[no-oath-no-spell-deactivated201]

That poor anon never could have forseen this.

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

Anon needs to come forward and claim their prize, our hearts.

[antlerlessstag]

The prize is four inches of raw meat, covered in glitter

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

Y’know it’s kinda of poetic to describe our hearts as “four inches of raw meat, covered in glitter”.

[housetohalf]

Now THAT I need fan art of.

[no-oath-no-spell-deactivated201]

Who wants to get matching meat glitter tattoos?

[backstageleft-deactivated202009]

Framed with the words ♥BIG. MEATY. CARPS.♥

[housetohalf]

Of course.

[q2qcomics-deactivated20200929]

I did a thing.

[theatercommandments]

I believe I have found the source of the shenanigans.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

1000 condoms.

For mics.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

But what happens when the bucket IS preset?

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

Chorus member breaks elbow in first scene of the show. Wrapped an icepack around it and made a makeshift sling out of leftover Nubian fabric. Show must go on.

AIDA was a mess.

[theatreisweirdsometimes]

Y’know, for Steel Magnolias...