Therapy
The definition of therapy is “a service that provides mental support to people suffering from mental problems or illnesses.”
For me, therapy is a way of finding inner peace, talking without the fear of judgement and being comfortable with our feelings.
In this article, I’ll be talking about my own therapy-experience: how it started, what made me cross the bridge, how it felt and how it’s impacting my life on a daily basis.
Why therapy
I’m not going to lie, at first I was very hesitant to reach to a psychologist. I thought it was weird to have someone who doesn’t know me make assumptions about my feelings and my way of thinking. However, I really was looking for a new type of support, other than my friends and family. I felt like a burden to most people in my life but also tired of easy answers, such as “it’s life, keep going, it will get better soon”. The more time passed by, the more I sensed frustration from everyone, as if they were mad I wasn’t following their advices. The one thing they couldn’t understand is that I didn’t need a life-guide or a mentor, but just an open ear. Now I don’t want to sound unlucky or ungrateful, because I have wonderful people in my life, but sometimes you reach a point where no one around can provide you the things you’re looking for. This breaking point is the ultimate signal that made me contact a psychologist.
The first session
Because of the pandemic, my sessions happen online. I remember sitting in front of my laptop for the first time, wondering what the f*ck I was going to tell her. Should I introduce myself? Ask her how she’s doing? Get to know her? It was scarier than going out on a first date, I was literally sh*tting myself. But as soon as we started the session and I answered some of her questions, I felt soooo comfortable. The way she let me speak without interrupting, analysing my speech, asking for more details, helping me find a pattern in my way of thinking, made it so easy for me to trust her directly. It felt good and satisfying, to have someone de-dramatizing events you felt responsible of, putting faith in you and helping you gain self-esteem.
The impact on my life
Ever since I started therapy I feel lighter and freer. My psychologist helps me let go of the guilt, self-shame and embarrassment I sense when remembering certain parts of my life. It helped me understand that the person I am today is not the same as last year, so I should forgive myself for past mistakes. Now I’m growing up and must focus on building the path to my future. Moreover, thanks to her advice, I started cutting off toxic friendships or any type of social contact with people who were pulling me back instead of pushing me forward. You have no idea how amazing it feels.
My advice
First, don’t start therapy if you don’t want to open up about your past. It's never comfortable to talk about past experiences, but it does help understand your current behaviours and actions towards others.
Secondly, find a therapist you’re comfortable seeing you at your lowest. There are times when you’ll be crying for minutes non-stop, struggling to catch a breath. You can’t let go of your feelings if you don’t trust the person you're expressing your emotions to.
And finally, keep your mind open. Don’t see therapy as a weakness but as a strength. Opening up to a complete stranger is not something everybody is willing to do, and the fact that you are trying is truly amazing.
Don’t ever forget that YOU have the power to change your life, everything depends on how hard you’re willing to try.
Take care of yourself and don’t hesitate to follow me on Instagram (@thebazaarofdina) for more posts!
Besos,
Dina.
