[thebestfriendremix]

Private bitching sideblog on Tumblr queer discourse. I don’t agree 100% with everything I reblog. I am not expert on any topic and willing to learn more. I block freely and curate my internet experience.

On here in my free time and don’t plant to use this account a lot. I’m part of a queer association irl.

Artwork by rozuki

[queeranarchism]

Let me settle the 'is it fetishism and is it bad?' debate once and for all:

Being attracted to any kind of body is normal. Fat bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. All normal. Being extra attracted to a specific kind of body is normal too. Totally normal to have a type.

Not unlearning the societal stigma attached to those kinds of bodies, the people who inhabit those bodies, and the people who fuck them, to the point where you do any of the following:

Only want to date/fuck the person in secret.

Reduce the person to the feature that you desire and ignore the rest of who they are as a person.

Expect the person to be a walking porn fantasy instead of a real person with their own sexual preferences and boundaries.

Would no longer love the person if the stigmatized aspect of their body changed.

Consider yourself superior to the person, think the person should be 'grateful' that you love their body, etc.

See the person as a temporary adventure while planning to eventually settle down with someone whose body isn't stigmatized.

Is bad and harmful and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you've worked on your shit, because this makes you a very terrible partner. This doesn't mean you are a bad person with bad-fetishist-desires who can only desire people badly, it means you need to unlearn societal stigma so you can be a better partner to the people you desire.

Thank you for coming to me ted talk.

[thebealog]

transandrophobia isnt real because im a trans girl who just had to pretend to be a detransitioned trans man to keep myself safe from a guy who clocked me because of my adams apple and started calling me a man

[selene1311-f]

This is the single most idiotic braindead take I've ever seen somebody make, so thank you for that. Seriously, wtf is your point? How does lying and saying you're cis prove anything?

'Transandrophobia isn't real cause I ate a sandwich this morning' ass take.

[thebealog]

hey so ask a trans man to say he's a detransitioned trans woman and see what happens

your point is immediately discarded when youre calling people idiotic and braindead, typical of a transandrobro to resort to insults

[selene1311-f]

How does that prove anything though?! Like, sure, I could ask a trans guy to lie, but tf does that accomplish?!

[typewriters-and-love-letters]

Pretending to be a detransitioned trans man isn't a privilege. It means you, OP, used the transphobic rhetoric hurled at trans men to your advantage. How we're "led astray" and "mutilate our bodies" and just need to "be saved". That's what you stepped into the moment you claimed to be a detransitioned trans man. Being viewed as someone who mutilated their body but has finally learned better. Because we're "nieve, stupid little girls that need to be protected". That's how trans men, and detransitioned trans men, get viewed.

Oh, and that specific type of transphobia has a word for it. Transandrophobia.

[miraculouslumination]

I think what gets me about "Society wants trans women dead, and trans men to detransition" is that there's this...potential implication that is very infantilizing to trans men and our struggles.

Many people have pointed out how this idea poses being detransitioned back into being a cis woman as a privilege, or a less cruel fate.

But here's what I think those who believe detrans is better than death are missing, and also what they are implying.

They are missing/ignoring the countless trans men who would fight tooth and nail to remain as trans men. The ones who would refuse to go down without a fight. Who would rather be killed than made into someone's pregnant and barefoot trophy wife. And subsequently the consequences of doing that.

And then the implication is that detransitioning, for trans men, is either "not that bad" or...trans men would just comply. We would be told "You aren't a man, you're a woman, now lay down and get pregnant" and just...accept that? That we are somehow so malleable, so placid, that if enough people told us to stop being men, we just...would?

Like this is just some big game of pretend we're playing, rather than some major part of our identities?

Y'all know what I mean? "Society JUST wants trans men to detransition" as though us trans guys would just huff and sigh begrudgingly as we are institutionalized, forcefully wedded, and so on? That it's some mild inconvenience to be removed of our autonomy, and forced into something we aren't?

That we would just go along with it, while our trans sisters are murdered in the streets??

Like, are you fucking serious?

Again, anyone else getting this vibe from these people who really downplay this shit? "JUST detransition" like "JUST put on your dress so we can go to Church already!!" as though we're a bunch of fussy children who are throwing tantrums over silly things? It's so fucking gross, and while I would hope that's not what these people mean, I think many of us have also seen how eager these people are to infantilize trans men and transmascs.

[thebestfriendremix]

Terfs r genuinely disgusting holy shit

[maxisamagician]

being ftm is crazy bc im going from “men want to murder me” to “men want to murder me” so it’s a lose/lose situation

[cyprozombiegirl]

new version cause tumblr staff hate trans women

[genderkoolaid]

#tumblr staff sure do hate trans women but if you make a post containing the word “vagina” containing a cartoon of a vagina#i'm not where you're making shocked pikachu face about it getting flagged

it's barely depicting the vulva (the external hole is visible in ONE panel, from a distance, and otherwise you are only seeing the internal organs), and its clearly health information. calling it a "cartoon of a vagina" is kind of obscuring the specific context of it being a very tame medical diagram showing how to do something that many people do every month starting from middle school.

tumblr's definition of "mature":

What is considered Mature Content? Content not suitable for all ages, including text, images, audio, and videos containing nudity, sexual themes, strong language, or mature subject matter is considered mature. Posts that contain mature content must have a Content Label applied, and it is your responsibility to label your content appropriately. [...] What counts as sexually explicit? Visual depictions of sexually explicit acts or content with an overt focus on genitalia are not allowed on Tumblr. This includes sexual intercourse, masturbation, sexual interactions with toys, and content involving bodily fluids. We also don’t allow content where aroused genitalia is visible or the primary focus, even if partially covered or beneath clothing.

tumblr's official age requirement is 13+ and plenty of 13 year olds use tampons. so there's no reason to me that image isn't suitable for all ages (13 year olds should not be protected from basic sex ed), it isn't sexually explicit, it doesn't even have an "overt focus on genitalia" despite being about genitalia, and the actual post is also just about nonsexually caring for a neovagina. "mature" is very clearly a label meant for erotic content, not non-erotic sexual education.

given there is softcore porn on this website that doesn't get flagged, but a photo of a fat Black woman's clothed back gets flagged, i don't think this is "shocked pikachu face" i think its being rightfully upset at tumblr censoring queer sex ed, again.

[drew-booker-books]

The Rules of Anti-Transmasculinity

1. Your body is not your own.

1a. Your body is a site for other’s desires.

If they want you to be beautiful, it is cruel of you to deny them that. If they want you to be feminine, it is cruel of you to deny them that. If they think you should reproduce, it is cruel of you to divest yourself of reproductive duties.

1b. Your body is owned by the state.

Reproductive laws that can affect cis women also affect you, but you cannot weigh in on them, because you are not a woman.

Anti-trans laws affect you, but you must not bring this up; you are never the “real” target, even when you are, because you are not “really” trans.

When the legislation talks about “protecting” your fertility, you should feel lucky to be safeguarded from yourself.

- - -

2. Your experiences are not your own.

Your childhood does not exist. You cannot claim girlhood if you are a man, and you cannot claim boyhood if you did not grow up within it, and no other visions of childhood may exist. Your history, however you define it, is fundamentally incompatible with who you are.

Forms of sexism which are aimed at women, by a binary logic, cannot be aimed at men or mascs. If your experiences contradict this, either you are invalidating your identity, or you are appropriating womanhood.

It is your duty to blithely dissociate yourself from any trauma patriarchy may have inflicted on you. Men cannot be affected by these things even if it happens to them personally. A “real” man must be stoic and uncaring.

- - -

3. You are a “default” body.

You are to be assumed affluent, perisex, binary, and passing, with no legal or situational barriers to medical or social transition, and no reproductive concerns to speak of — unless your nonconformity can be used to dismiss you.

You are assumed to be able-bodied, sane of mind, white, and thin — unless your mental health or appearance is good for mockery.

You are to be treated as essentially cismasculine. Being treated as if you are cis is a compliment, even when it is erasing your lived experiences, and even if it is known and true that transfems have their own unique struggles from cis women too.

- - -

4. You are an “aberrant” body.

4a. Your body is a site of fascination. You (are presumed to) have a gestative capacity, and a fun extra hole. These traits are relevant when others assess your attractiveness and their kinks. They are not relevant in the context of your health. You’re a submissive little bottom, right?

(Your body is something to conquer and claim. This may be done to emphasize your femininity, deny your androgyny, or defang your masculinity.)

4b. Your body is a site of disgust. Any steps you may take to masculinize yourself are “ruining” your “female” features, regardless of any joy you personally take from the changes, and regardless of if you engage with medical transition or not.

(You are killing the woman you are supposed to be. Stand trial.)

4c. Your body is too unattractive to be sexually violenced. It doesn’t happen. When it does, you have anatomical privilege, because you are (presumed to be) in possession of a vulva, and victims with those are of course always believed. But it doesn’t happen, because you are essentially a cis man, and of course men don't get raped.

(It is not possible to be targeted for this violence because you are transmasculine. It is always misaimed violence, intended for someone else. Apologize to her for taking up her space.)

4d. Your body is a proxy for other’s ideas about activism. Womanhood is good, and manhood is bad, and things in-between are uncomfortable and hard to classify; therefore, a detransition back to cisfemininity would be a preferable state of being, wouldn’t it?

(Your transition is at odds with good feminism.)

4e. Your body is a joke. Men don’t menstruate. Men don’t gestate. Men don’t lactate. Men can't have breasts. If the suggestion sends people into hysterics, you must take it lying down.

(Remember; comedy is subversion, and you are an “abberant” body.)

4f. Your body is a hypothetical and not a lived reality. If men could menstruate or gestate, that would fix patriarchy. It would not result in men being denied at the door of the gynecology office, surely.

(To entertain your existence is a rhetorical inconvenience.)

4g. Your body is a source of put-down. You are a cunt, a pussy, a fembrained bitchmoid — and it isn’t sexist to refer to you as such, because you are a man. Your disinclination to be reduced to bioessentialist biogotry is simply proof that your masculinity is fragile. It is not proper for you to object to it, even when it is the same rhetoric spewed by patriarchy itself, and even if it would be equally galling to say to a woman, cis or trans.

(Have you not considered that your trans body is privileged under cis patriarchy?)

4h. Passing is universal to all transmasculine bodies and all life situations. Closeted, clocky, queer, or femme trans men and mascs cannot exist, and are not subjected to the same violence as women or other queer men. Legal gender markers don’t matter. Medical access isn’t a concern. People from your past cannot possibly be vindictive enough to out you, because queer or not, you have male privilege.

(Have you considered that you simply aren’t trying hard enough to pass?)

- - -

5. If you are inadequately masculine, pre-transition, nonbinary, or bi-gendered, you cannot “really” be a man.

Remember; you are a lost little girl when you need to be talked down to.

Remember; manhood and womanhood are diametric opposites, exclusive states of being.

Remember; poverty is not an excuse.

- - -

6. If you are inadequately feminine or too masculine, you cannot “really” be queer.

Remember; you are a “default” body.

Remember; you are essentially cis.

- - -

7. If you are too assertive or too unwilling to serve as a punching bag, you cannot “really” be a feminist.

Remember; men cannot be feminists.

Remember; men cannot need feminism.

Remember; your masculinity is most readily acknowledged when it provides a rhetorical threat.

- - -

8. If you really insist on your masculinity, then it must be in service to others. You owe them labor, defense, money, and deference.

You are not owed equality or reciprocity, because men are responsible for patriarchy. You are on the hook for the patriarch’s debt, and you are presumed to share his wallet.

(A man is a protector and a provider. I thought you wanted to be a man?)

- - -

9. Your interest in your own autonomy is indistinguishable from power-grabbing.

Your self-determination and self-advocacy aligns you with patriarchal interests, or is a sign that you are too battered by patriarchy to self-determine in the first place. Someone else must decide these things for you. Someone else must speculate on your motives. You do not get to speak for yourself.

- - -

10. Your inclusion and representation is not important.

10a. When you notice your absence from culture, art, and storytelling, others ask; why do you not simply project your experiences onto cis men? Remember, you are a default body. Surely you are different from other queer people who need direct representation.

(When you try to do that, you are classically fembrained and illiterate for thinking a given character could have transmasculine subtext or themes.)

Projecting onto cis women is akin to killing them.

Why are you not satisfied with mpreg fanfic?

10b. When you make your own art and stories, you are playing with dolls. It is unimportant, juvenile, and easily dismissed much in the way that people discuss teenage girls who act as culture-makers.

(If transmasculinity is not present in the world of art, it must be because it has no artistic merit.)

- - -

11. Your erasure is proof that you have nothing to offer.

The muffling of violence done to you or your brothers is proof that no violence occurs in the first place.

The muffling of you or your brother’s contributions is proof that none of you contributed in the first place.

The removal of your brothers from the historical narrative is proof that they didn’t exist, or that they never stood in solidarity with other feminists and queers.

Silence is proof that you need not speak.

- - -

12. Denying any danger that you may be in is affirmative to your masculinity, because men cannot be harmed.

There are no statistics that say otherwise if we never read them.

There are no patterns of abuse if we never speak of them.

There are no dead if they are recorded as femicides.

There are no victims if we do not speak their names.

- - -

These contradictory impositions are not aimed at transmascs alone, but they are the recurring patterns I notice as a transmasculine feminist. We are not the only ones in danger, but we are queer all the same, and all queerness is targeted under patriarchy.

[tboy-cock]

its weird to me how while trfs/transandrophobes will take any transmasculine person being bigotted or a pedophile/otherwise problematic for lack of a better term to be undeniable proof that all trans men are actually bigotted rapists and violent predators and shouldnt be allowed/accepted into trans/queer spaces, they not only wont apply that to transfeminine people being bigotted or predatory because they understand (even if only for trans women) that one person in a marginalized group being a problematic person doesnt mean that the whole group is and that thats extremely bigotted to say and has been used against marginalized people for forever (which is true and should be applied to all marginalized people), but instead theyll go one step further and claim that talking about a transfeminine person being bigotted or a pedophile or otherwise problematic is actually transmisogynistic and akin to "lynching" and "social murder", which is a crazy comparison to make anyway for. multiple reasons

[the-queer-rambler]

Can we stop referring to the hakenkreuz as a swastika?

A swastika is a cultural and religious symbol. The hakenkreuz or "hooked cross" is the nazi symbol. It's quite orientalist to keep calling the hakenkreuz a swastika. Let's at least try to change our language about the different symbols.

Differences between the two symbols in images under the cut.

( @checkyourasianbias @this-is-orientalism )

[transcockiness]

i think cis people who run "detrans" blogs should be taken out back and shot. i saw one post about this by a cis man that said "it's not "bio-essentialism" it's just the truth" and then wrote a fuckton of bioessentialist christofascist garbage about transmascs. man fix your heart or literally fucking die if you're a cis man not making clear that your posts misgendering trans people are "just" a kink you need to fucking cease to exist. if you're participating in bioessentialist kink YOU CANNOT FUCKING DENY THAT IT'S BIOESSENTIALIST. you are committing fucking violence against trans people. you need to be fucking aware of the fascist supremacist reality that most countries in the fucking world are living in (if you're writing in english, it Certainly fucking applies to your country) and to the reality of transsexuals. we are being fucking genocided, especiallly trans women. sincerely and fully and completely, you are a bad person. fuck you.

also if you're trans and you reblog this shit YOU NEED TO FUCKING TAG IT OR MARK IT ON YOUR BLOG. at least fucking put "tw transphobia kinks" somewhere in your bio, you are fucking hurting your community members and you're a fucking class traitor if you keep peddling this fucking fascist bullshit without any fucking warning

if you're an asshole on this post i will block you immediately without remorese. im fucking venting

[thebestfriendremix]

Rlly annoying when a male character who happens to be feminine in canon/have any affinity for femininity gets headcanoned as a trans woman and the ppl with that headcanon explain the themes and the reasons and the character analysis to then be met w “yknow feminine men don’t have to be trans”. Like oh okay so you didn’t listen to anything they said. Transmisogyny in fandom fork found in kitchen

[imjunebitch]

when we "lose" a cis butch woman because he becomes a trans man or masc you should actually say such things as yay, yippee, or hooray.

[imjunebitch]

i identified as a butch for a bit! I changed my mind because in my case it was me trying to avoid wanting to be something I wasn't sure I COULD be! did you "lose" something when I, a trans woman, decided to present more femme?

[imjunebitch]

if every cis butch woman in the world became a trans man right now, that would be an unambiguously, inarguably good and positive thing, because that would be people choosing to live the lives they wanted as the kinds of people they wanted to be, end of statement. personal autonomy isn't something to bitch over!

[hemipenal-system]

"why when someone mentions trans butches is it always transmasc butches? why are there never any transfem butches" well you also post about how you think all masculinity is toxic masculinity so if i'm being honest i think you probably treat transfem butches like shit and they don't like interacting with you

[hemipenal-system]

“what’s with the endless talk about he/him transmasc butches but there’s never the same for transfem butches” well see it’s actually the same reason there’s seemingly a dearth of AMABed nonbinary people! it’s because you treat them like fucking dogshit!

everyone in the trans community, including way too many trans women who call themselves transfeminists, plays this funny little game where if you’re transfemme you have to look as close to being a cis woman as possible and if you don’t it means you have internalized transmisogyny or you’re idolizing transmisogynistic caricatures. there’s “no” transfem butches because if you want to be masculine and transfem, you simultaneously have to deal with all the people who think you’re a predatory man and all the people who think you only want to be butch because you don’t understand your gender and the way it’s oppressed well enough.

it’s harder to find masculine trans women because being a masculine trans woman fucking sucks. ask me how i know this

[luckyladylily]

Yeah, it's a fucking problem. It's really insulting coming from everyone else, but how vile the trans femme community is to any trans woman or trans femme who is masculine feels like a personal betrayal. Being stabbed in the back by the people who should have your back most. I'm not even masculine by choice but it's really fucking clear the online trans femme community isn't for me anymore.

[trans-masked]

These are on a video of a cis man calling out a politician for laughing at a program that gives resources to pregnant trans teenagers. Notice how the commenters all say “men” rather than boys… remind you of anything?

[thebestfriendremix]

Still upset to what has happened to the public idea of what youth liberation is so

What youth liberation believes in:

Young people should not be legal property of their parents/legal guardians

Young people should be allowed to freely leave abusive family situations

Young people shouldn’t need parental/guardian permission for comprehensive sex education

Young people should have complete body autonomy that should not be controlled by their parental/guardian figure(s)

It should not be legal for young people to be denied medical care on the say of their parental/guardian figures

It should not be legal for young people to be denied schooling/education on the say of their parental/guardian figures

The adoption system as is right now is heavily flawed and young people should not be at it’s whims as is normal right now

Because of all these beliefs the youth liberation movement usually goes hand in hand with the family abolition movement.

What youth liberation does NOT believe:

Young people categorically CAN’T consent to sexually exploitative situations as they do not have the mental maturity to

Young people should NOT be exposed to sexual situations face on

Youth liberation should PROTECT young people, not endanger them

Youth liberation is against child marriage

Pedophiles should not be encouraged to be around young people in the same way you would not encourage an homocidal person to use a knife

Youth liberation protects young people. Youth liberation does not protect pedophiles who believe being sexually attracted to kids is morally acceptable or to be celebrated or as marginalised as any queer identity. Paedophilic thoughts do not render you inherently morally bankrupt, they do not make you a bad person, your unwillingness to work on them in any meaningful way does.

Youth liberation that solely focuses on the sexual aspects of the liberation is not youth liberation, it’s exploitation. As it stands with the current structures and society, without any meaningful change, youth liberation that solely focuses on sexual “freedom” endanger young people.

[thebestfriendremix]

Online queer rights activists r like yes i support queer liberation unless you are a trans man or if you align with masculinity in any way or if you don’t fit my eurocentric standards of womanhood or if you have a differing opinion from me (im allowes to call you slurs over this btw) or if want bottom surgery or have bottom dysphoria or dont let me talk over you or if you don’t fit my binary system of categorisation or