Crazy Factotum, dishevelling all @theblackwomb - Tumblr Blog

reblog and tag a tag that you have blocked

#taylor swift #heated rivalry #harry potter obvs #i also have a lot of people's OCs blocked #im happy that you made a guy #i hope you have fun putting him in situations #im just not interested in hearing about him

tomhardysurinal

I have never wanted to open a spam email so badly

potatochangbin

i saw this posted on pinterest and i NEED to add the funniest comment ever

yesornopolls

If you’ve ever had a menstrual period, did you get your first one at age 11 or younger?

(Apparently the average age of one’s first period is around 12, but I’m curious to see where the demographics are here, and if it’s been trending younger in younger generations! I had my first period just shy of my 10th birthday 😭)

If you’ve ever had a menstrual period, did you get your first one at age 11 or younger?

Yes

No

See results

Voting ended onJul 25

#i was about 10 and a half #I've had it for more than two thirds of my life now

starrynet

what’s your favorite ship?

titanic

hms terror

uss enterprise

ever given (the container ship that blocked the suez canal in 2021)

captain ahab’s whaling vessel

ship of theseus

battleship monopoly token

mclennon

Voting ended onJul 14

theblackwomb

#i joke i joke #i was also so distracted by that omission that i didnt even notice mclennon on there

ghostbrarian

why is pinterest full of python memes

#correct python memes you mean

maemaybe

I don't know who my intended audience is here, so whoever needs to hear this, I am begging you to learn to participate in conversations that are about things you aren't interested in.

Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.

Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.

It can not always be about your preferred topic.

You are being rude. Yes, even if you are neurodivergent. You can be both autistic and rude.

#oh my god this #i was on the receiving end of this multiple times from a former flatmate/friend #literally this exact wording #i remember relating a brief amusing anecdote about something my beloved nephew had done that day #my living breathing HUMAN nephew about whom they knew I care deeply #only for them to go 'well anyway' and proceed to tell me the same story about their yappy cunt of a dog for the fifth time that month #not a single word had gone in #their train of thought just kept on chugalugging mowing down all in its path #rude rude rude

horrorfilmdyke

who is the first david you think of when you hear the name david

#my da :)

asmrgaret

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

asmrgaret

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

#darling fascist bully boy #give me some more money you bastard #may the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman #neil.

victusinveritas

Do other countries not tailgate? I mean I know pickup trucks aren't a thing everywhere, but they're not a necessity, even if you'd think you need a tailgate to actually tailgate. Ya don't. Just brews and brats and buds.

likegodapple

Off the back of a quick search: The Foxborough stadium there and the largest stadium in Scotland, Celtic Park, have about the same seating capacity, about 65,000.

The Foxborough stadium normally has 20,000 parking spaces.

Celtic Park has 800, with another 600 nearby.

You might not need tailgates, but you do need to be parking there.

victusinveritas

I forgot, somehow, how much of America is paved (and mostly empty most of the time), especially near stadiums. Thanks for doing the research!

#i know tailgating is a specific thing #but its weird and even a bit condescending to be going on like drinking outside on the street is an alien concept to we Scots #like what do you think we normally do before an old firm match or any other?#i suppose the lack of walkability is the greater novelty here #yanks thinking they invented the concept of predrinking: okay so imagine a car...and a burger...

gaytanic-panic

#HELLOOOOO!!!!#🩵🤍🩷#Now that's what I call a fuckin hunk #STUNNING STUNNING STUNNING #I'm besotted

starridge

who are your parasocial enemies, like mine are andrew lloyd webber and butch hartman

#Paddington Bear

spin-the-wheel-polls

make a bunch of wheels with bread/cheese/meat/vegetables/sauce/extra so that you can Spin for Sandwich

you're making a sandwich!! Spin THIS wheel 2-4 times for the toppings!

How is it!

good!!

it's alright

ew

EW

inedible

Results

Voting ended onJun 3

op note: I GOT JAM, JAM AND HOT SAUCE. IM DEAD.

#marmite #bbq sauce #hot sauce #and a brick #delicious and nutritious

64mpg

actually i’ve done a lot of work on myself since we last spoke and i wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself and that i hope you die

#me and claire

can i be mean for a second and say i despise with a burning passion the way americans pronounce 'lilac'

with the really hard emphasis on the 'lac' and that hard 'a' sound?

bleurgh gees me the boak

#just had to put that out there

theblackwomb

honestly my new 'a cry and a wank' system has been such a boon for my mental health

i've tried and tested it enough to know that it works every time and now if i feel bleh or weird or yucky for whatever reason it makes me feel better to know i have an immediate solution

i have a good cry about whatevers bothering me (or sometimes i literally just consume sad/emotional media to make myself cry if there's nothing specific bothering me) and then i bring myself right back up again with a nice earth-shattering orgasm

an emotional release and a physical release! try it today!

theblackwomb

may have accidentally forgotten about the crying part tonight and just made myself come six times in a row

#oops

honestly my new 'a cry and a wank' system has been such a boon for my mental health

i've tried and tested it enough to know that it works every time and now if i feel bleh or weird or yucky for whatever reason it makes me feel better to know i have an immediate solution

i have a good cry about whatevers bothering me (or sometimes i literally just consume sad/emotional media to make myself cry if there's nothing specific bothering me) and then i bring myself right back up again with a nice earth-shattering orgasm

an emotional release and a physical release! try it today!

#literally just balancing my humours i think #releasing fluids of various kinds #in all seriousness it works for me #mental health