but first we get to live.

static • she/her • 18 • queer as in fuck you brainworm flavor subject to change we will persist

[microwavedlion]

[diphowell]

[reunitedinterlude]

*phil voice* you can kiss touch your male friends without it being gay 🫶

[sozvezdiyay]

Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)

But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.

And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.

And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"

[pearl-in-vinegar]

'i asked chatgpt' yeah well I asked the three witches and now I'm the king of Scotland. so

[hollanderthoughts]

Salt in the wound, cock in the hole, life goes on

[jessaerys]

what in the world are "pity likes" you guys are inventing new ways to be insecure. every like i give is a like with my whole pussy

[diphowell]

[theblueststatic]

My tummy hurt

[debaucheryandexcess]

having a belly outline while wearing a dress is a very beautiful and sexy accessory. anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is getting put in the shredder

[sliversoakley4]

[homunculus-argument]

I'm not a catholic and have never even seen one up close, but I think the pope should start excommunicating people on the reg again. Just start publicly going "you know what, fuck you, you can't sit with us. You're not allowed in church or heaven on the grounds of being JD Vance. Eat shit and go to hell."

Stir shit up a little. What's the point of being the mouthpiece of god if nothing you say has consequences.

[kosmogrl]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[ilynpilled]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[pulim-v]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[theblueststatic]

i had a dream that dnp got married and they announced it via ig stories and it was really vague but you could tell it was a marriage announcement (idk) but I found out because my friend and her other friend conference called me freaking out and it was really confusing

[sosaysdean]

AGAINST FAITH (cage all the animals) AGAINST ALL LIFE (cause the message must be pure) AGAINST CHANGE (you can wander through the ruins) WE ARE PLAGUED (but the poison is the cure) YOU MUST. FIX YOUR HEART. AND YOU MUST BUILD AN ALTAR WHERE IT SWELLS. WHEN THE STORM IT GAINS AND THE SKY IT RAINS. LET IT FLOOD. LET IT FLOOD. LET IT WASH AWAY. AND AS YOU STUMBLE THROUGH YOUR LAST CRUSADE. WILL YOU WELCOME YOUR EXTINCTION IN THE MORNING RAYS? AND AS THE SWARM IT CALLS WE LAY IN THE FOUNDATIONS. yes it comforts me much more. yes it comforts me much more. to lay in the foundations of decay. GET. UP. COWARD.

[diphowell]

dan and phil deciding who has to get the pineapple douche

[diphowell]

#and it's very obviously rigged so Dan gets it

[lesterist-deactivated20140208]

[fr1ednice]

im sorry i reblogged this i know phan isnt real but a girl can dream ok