I'm Good at Boats

[aperennialstudent-blog]

I think at this point we’ve all heard enough Tom Jones for the rest of our lives.

[theboomerangarrow]

Amen

[heartsquiver]

uhhh the punch is definitely not supposed to taste like that

[theboomerangarrow]

You alright there, Katie?

[theboomerangarrow]

Hearing aids are a goddamn blessing because I get to choose whether or not to hear something

[theboomerangarrow]

Dammit. Tearin’ my phone apart for now because I don’t need more people than me seeing what goes on in my head. 

Least it wasn’t anything that bad. 

[theboomerangarrow]

I need some more duct tape around the house. I think I used up the last of it for wrapping presents. What else... I should really start making lists but ugh lists suck. Oh yeah, Katie needs some more trick arrows, I think she’s running low. Hm, some of the basics should do it. Splodey arrow, net, cable, tear gas, explosive tip, and boomerang arrow. Heh, know she hates that one. Doesn’t really come in handy that much, I’ll admit. But annoying her is worth the waste of a couple of trick arrow shafts every now and the- 

Shit. I lost my keys again. Hope Simone is home. 

[theboomerangarrow]

Yep. That felt good.

[theboomerangarrow]

He had the boy in his sights, with a snowball in his grasp. Kate was definitely doing her job. The kid barely noticed anything else right now. The dangers of flirting: surprise snowballs. Clint had only made one- he only needed one. It was different than shooting an arrow, sure, but he'd been a kid once too. And an adult with a continued love of the cold sport. Throwing snowballs wasn't exactly new territory. He watched from his perch, waiting for Tommy to slow down enough to hit him. He noticed how he paused to aim, much longer than it took Clint to aim, and that's when he took his shot. Ker-splat! Right in the kisser. Clint let out a whoop and fist pumped. It might be the only chance he ever hit the speedster with a snowball, and he was going to enjoy it.

[theboomerangarrow]

I'm gonna enjoy this

[theboomerangarrow]

[txt] I know his next target [txt] if we hurry now u can distract him [txt] I’ll nail him [txt] then it’s your turn

[heartsquiver]

[txt] yeah that sounds good [txt] just tell me where to go and i think i can distract him [txt] and maybe a pic where you’ll be from so i can duck

She deletes that last message before sending it, shaking her head imperceptibly. Clint wasn’t the type to miss–she had nothing to worry about.

[theboomerangarrow]

[txt] here's the location [txt] we've got one shot at this [txt] so let's enjoy it when we hit him

[heartsquiver]

@theboomerangarrow

[txt] already? who was it???

[theboomerangarrow]

[txt] your boyfriend [txt] hope you aren’t feeling too attached to him being dry, because it’s time for payback

[heartsquiver]

[txt] y’know [txt] i’m not over missing. like i threw one at him and i missed and he got me. so no, i’m not too attached to him being dry. [txt] what do you have?

[theboomerangarrow]

[txt] I know his next target [txt] if we hurry now u can distract him [txt] I'll nail him [txt] then it's your turn

[heartsquiver]

@theboomerangarrow

[txt] already? who was it???

[theboomerangarrow]

[txt] your boyfriend [txt] hope you aren't feeling too attached to him being dry, because it's time for payback

[theboomerangarrow]

☄

The snowball pegs him in the back of the head the second he steps outside. "What th-" Clint whipped around in search of the attacker, barely catching a green blur leave the scene. He pulled out his phone, pulling up a contact labelled "Hawkeye Jr." [txt] @heartsquiver alright, got pelted already, what's the plan?

[theboomerangarrow]

@heartsquiver [Yelling up the stairs] Thanks for the coffee machine, Katie!

[theboomerangarrow]

Sitting on the kitchen counter is a brand new green mug that reads “World’s Best Mom.” There is a little tag that reads “To Clint, From Kate” on the cover. Inside, it says “JK. Sort of. Mug is still for you if you want it. But also, check the top of the fridge.“ When he does, there’s a new purple coffee machine. Obviously to indicate friendship, but it will not change color tomorrow—purple is their color, after all.

He chuckles as he reads the words on the mug and the note inside of it. He definitely wasn’t going to say no to another mug, especially since they had such a short life span in this apartment. He stretches up to pull the purple coffee machine off the fridge and hook it up to test the baby out. As the machine fills up the mug that advertises him as the best mother in the world, Clint thinks about how nice it was that Kate went through all the trouble to get him a new coffee machine. And then another thought hits him. 

He rushes to the calendar taped crudely to the side of the fridge, curses, and grabs his coat while running out the door. The machine lets out one final whir as steaming coffee reaches the top of the mug, untouched. 

[d1rtypaws]

[dreamingdogwalker-blog]

We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.

[anthony-j-crowley]

Is this the real life? Or is it fantasy?

[theboomerangarrow]

Caught in a landslide no escape from reality

[theboomerangarrow]

Well, name’s Clint not drunk archer man. And I’d love to but uh don’t remember anything from that night sorry kid

[haretriggertemper]

no im prreytyt sure its drunk archer man 

and alsos that sounds hrorirble how could you forget the ocool that was my giant rabbit holding you he

[theboomerangarrow]

...Are you sure you’re not drunk? 

I mean i’m not saying I don’t do typos but I do way more typos when drunk 

Sorry, though. I’ll testify next time I see it

[haretriggertemper]

@theboomerangarrow heelo drunk archer man can yuo testify abtout how long my rabbits arms are

[theboomerangarrow]

Well, name’s Clint not drunk archer man. And I’d love to but uh don’t remember anything from that night sorry kid