Look. The way you ask for a refill?
Sometimes, what you need to do is literally ask for a refill. I know that can be scary and upsetting and requires you to be willing to be vulnerable, but please consider two things:
One: if what you want to do is be able to fill other people's cups, you can't fill from an empty cup. You literally can't do the work if you're emptied out. You need to do this so you can help.
Two: for the people that love you, the people that really matter, you aren't imposing on them by asking for a refill. This is one of the things I really internalized from coming home to Judaism: when someone asks me to help them, they're giving me the opportunity to perform a mitzvah. No matter your belief system or outlook, I think we can probably all agree that being given an opportunity to be more awesome is pretty great.
So ask. Here are a few scripts you can try.
"Hey, I am...
... having a bad day.
... really struggling.
... really hurting because of the state of the world.
... having a hard time focusing on positive things.
... feeling emptied out.
Could you please help me? I could really use...
... some company.
... to hear about something beautiful you saw today.
... to hear some good news.
... to see a picture of your pet.
... to be told something you like about me.
... to be reminded of something I do that you like.
... your silliest new meme.
... to go for a walk with you.
... to hear about your favorite show.
... a hug."
I have genuinely never asked my friends to love me a little bit louder and gotten anything but an outpouring of support.
People love you and want to take care of you. All you have to do is give them an opportunity and maybe tell them the best way to love you right now.
@thelatestkate Has some lovely illustrations you can use to send to a friend who is struggling. Or, just look at a few yourself. Theyāve helped me a few times when I was really hurting.
And on that note, something she made on this topic-
Hang in there, and reach out for help if you need it.
