ELECTRIC SHEEP

For when asinine just isn't enough.

[fyoumrbitey]

(sorry for the flood of tmi spam earlier, I’m trying to convince a friend to read them *andrea*)

So I’m about to dive into this whole debate about fake nerd girls. I don’t think there is a such thing as a fake nerd girl. I do, however, think that there is a such thing as people calling...

[thebrownwelsh]

I'm all for this. Can't stand people trying to tell OTHER people to stay out of their territory. It's almost as if human beings rely on segregation to make themselves feel better about their own life choices; if someone else you don't respect suddenly becomes a peer of yours, what does that MEAN?!?!?

Absolutely fuck all, that's what. #nerdsunite

[pheromoneotterpops-deactivated2]

demographics

Things you can’t say on Twitter:

- There are healthier ways to deal with your loneliness and crippling depression than owning a bunch of cats.

- Not saying you’re lying, but I don’t think you like things in your butt as much as you’re saying.

Things you can’t say on Facebook:

- Fuck the local sports team, I hope they lose!

- Your kid is ugly and looks like an especially misshapen potato.

[thebrownwelsh]

TRUTH

[thebrownwelsh]

write about... when you became a US citizen, was it sad to give up your UK citizenship?

Ha, was looking for something a little less close to home, but I'll give it a shot just for you.

[thebrownwelsh]

Putting my paper currency where my mouth-hole is.

This new job is a blessing and a curse, much like saying Aloha(?)

I've exclaimed for years that I can write about anything; just gimme a topic and I'll give you some words. But good words! I'll give you emphatic enthusiasm mixed with informative content, just gimme a topic.

Welp, I finally got my dream job. And part of it entails maintaining the company blog. A blog about uber techy stuff that I barely comprehend. It's dry, bland material that I am attempting to liven up and reproduce with less corporate L337 speak.

So, I would like to ask a favour of the good people of the interwebs in an attempt to hone my skills; submit to me any topic, ANY subject matter so I can write a short piece about it. You can be specific as to the tone, purpose, history, etc. It can be as ridiculous or as boring as you want, I just need a reason to force myself to get to know something well enough to write a short blog post about it.

This might be considered lazy, uninspired, or redundant. It may be. But I miss Tumblr and this gives me an excuse to bug you. So nyeh.

This is a long shot, but let's see what happens.

[elons]

The New York Times would like to issue corrections for the wedding announcement of Mr. Adam Penview to Ms. Katie Jasper that ran in yesterday’s paper.

We incorrectly identified in the announcement that Mr. Adam Penview and Ms. Katie Jasper were married at the Church of the Holy Trinity in...

[thebrownwelsh]

I wish all newspapers were written in LiveTweet form.

[thebrownwelsh]

RE: Batman Begins

"In a 2012 interview, Christopher Nolan admitted that he invented the line "rub your chest, your arms will take care of themselves," spoken by Henri Ducard/R'as Al Ghul (Liam Neeson) after Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) falls into the frozen lake, and that it has no scientific basis, adding that he imagined "Boy Scouts everywhere freezing to death" because they took the advice literally thanks to Neeson's convincing delivery."

...

I AM ONE OF THOSE BOY SCOUTS.

[helenofdestroy]

[galaxyexpress-blog]

Aspiring Astronauts remain oblivious about the end of the space program.

Houston Texas, a crew of blue suited men stand looking excitedly at a rocket they’ll never fly.  It’s early in 2010 and already the Olympia shuttle has taken its last ever flight before retirement. So why is it still up? “We just didn’t have the heart to tell the other astronauts.” Says senior engineer Hank Malbourough.  “They have trained their whole lives for this. What do we do? Just tell them to leave?” Some in the government think that would be for the best. “These guys have physics degrees for crying out loud.” States a seemingly furious Alabama state Senator Gregory Barnes. “You’re telling me they can’t do something else? Isn’t the planet supposed to be getting hotter or something? Make them work on that!” If only it were that simple; many of these increasingly older people have training that only pertains to space travel. These people and, others like them, are the result of years of childhood conditioning that turned thousands of our young people into firemen, police officers, ballerinas and ‘army guys’. Irresponsible parents fostered these desires to such a degree that today almost every job as an astronaut, ballerina, or fireman is taken.  “These are fields you just can’t break into nowadays.” Franklin Murberry, a vocational therapist who works with people dealing with the disappointment of not attaining their childhood dreams. 

A condition he calls Discontentinitious. “We are seeing more and more of it these days. These poor men and women who are never going to get into space are just a small fraction of people affected by Discontentinitous.” One young woman thinking of applying to the space program who declined to comment had this to say. “My mom always said if I tried hard enough I could do anything I wanted, and if I really wanted to go into space then I would do it. Now I can see what a sham the whole thing was. I wonder sometimes if she was even my mother.” NASA officials are reeling over the bad press being generated and many feel misunderstood. “Do you have any idea how much gasoline and money it takes to shoot a person into space? And really what have we been shooting them up there for; to see how ants react to being in zero g? They are ants! They float. We were basically paying glorified lab techs to build billion dollar ant farms.” Head scientist and avid sculptor Theodore T. Barnum claims that Discontentinitous is a fictional disease like “Lime disease.” He went on to say. “You’d think I personally went over to their houses while they were sleeping and spit on their hopes and aspirations. Its not our fault people don’t care about space anymore!” The question of whether or not to tell these aspiring cosmonauts the truth is one that weighs heavily on the minds of some, who worry that eventually the astronauts may go rogue and attempt to steal the shuttles to go on some sort of crazy mission to save humanity like in that movie Armageddon. While still others seem unconcerned. “Astronauts will do pretty much whatever you tell them. In space it’s a life or death thing, so you really have to listen to the people on the ground. They will totally keep doing whatever we tell them.  There has also been talk of building a ‘Sub orbital’ station that would sit just outside of our offices.”

The ‘Sub Orbital Station would consist of a grounded space station for the astronauts to occupy. The state of the art facility would come complete with stars projected on every window, cold lifeless corridors and doors that seal from the outside, giving one the impression that you really are ‘trapped in the vacuum of space.’ Is this a solution to astronaut overcrowding and dealing with a small portion of Discontentinitous sufferers? Many think so, and plans are moving ahead. “We already have more than half the thing built, the trick will just be getting the astronauts into it without letting on that they are actually still on the ground.” Says Harold Mumsen, lead designer on the project. “We are going to let them sit in the space shuttle but only for a little while. They will be blindfolded, and it will sound almost the same. They won’t ever know the difference!” Whether it fools these hopeful space walkers is still yet to be seen, but the plan will go ahead and looks to be completed around 2024.

Kristian Warburton Senior Scientific correspondent. 

[dwineman]

Apple just released iBooks Author, a free Mac app for creating digital books for the new version of iBooks. I haven’t played with it much, but so far it looks like a very good tool. However, a curious thing happens when you go to export your work in iBooks format:

This restriction — that...

[thebrownwelsh]

So hey, yeah; I finally got around to finalising the fairly short next installment of my novel-in-progress. The next part is already in the works and will be longer, but this has been just sitting gathering dust waiting to be posted, so I decided to kick-start my motivation by submitting this excerpt to the masses for approval

[jarfishy]

[thebrownwelsh]

dduane:

If when asked a question this thing ever replies “Mu”, run for your life, because it’ll be hitting you with a stick next.

He has a time machine that can travel to the furthest reaches of time and space. I wouldnt be surprised if his sarcasm ignited the Big Bang.

[thebrownwelsh]

So here is chapter 2 of my super hero novel "Unnecessary Justice". It's a little rough because most of it was written with my thumbs on my lunch breaks, but you'll get the gist.

Feel free to tell me how this makes you feel.

Tingly? Me too.

[kissmyasajj-deactivated20160512]

[thebrownwelsh]

I want to be the man in the police box.

[thebrownwelsh]

So here's the first chapter of what I'm gaining more confidence in calling my very first Novel. Its titled "Unnecessary Justice" and its about technology, Super Heroes, nerd-love and little people (Im still unsure if midget is P.C. or not anymore).

Please feel free to peruse and critique to your hearts content. I shan't hold it against you.

Except YOU. I'll definitely hold it against YOU.

[citizenblue]

noel just made my morning perfect

[thebrownwelsh]

This brought a tear to my belly.

[robkroese-blog-blog]

[thebrownwelsh]

robkroese:

In preparation for the release of Mercury Rises, Amazon has dropped the price of Mercury Falls on Kindle to $3.99! And while you’re over there, go ahead and pre-order Mercury Rises. It’s priced at $7.99 now, but if the price drops between now and the actual release, you’ll be charged the lower price.

well, if I'd known that I would have preordered a week ago.

[iamdonald]

Visit Original Link

[thebrownwelsh]

Little bit of audio delight, seemingly a blast from the past but Ralph Fiennes gets a teeny smack down so obviously its not.

iamdonald:

We were really young once…

www.dcpierson.com