When I am appointed to represent a child, my first action is to separate them from their parents and tell them the following things:
1. I am their attorney. I do not work for their parent or the judge or the cops. I donât care what any of those people want.
2. My job is to listen to them and try and make what they want happen in court. (At this point I make a joke about how most people want me to get them out of trouble but if someone wanted to be in trouble I would do my best.)
3. What they tell me is confidential. It goes nowhere unless they agree to it. (If old enough, I talk to them about mandatory reporters, and how Iâm a mandatory non reporter.)
4. I will give them lots of advice because Iâve been doing court for a while and I know a lot about it, and they donât. Itâs all really complicated, and if they donât understand whatâs happening itâs my job to help them figure it out.
5. They will make the decisions. (At this point I usually have to reassure them that Iâll help, Iâll speak for them in front of the judge, and Iâve got their back. Itâs scary to have an adult say youâre in charge, most of the time.)
6. I tell them I know itâs absolutely wild to have some stranger come in here and say âhey, you can trust me!â and that I get if they donât believe everything right away, because I plan to show them through my actions and my words that Iâll fight for them.
7. But nonetheless, I will treat them like a person who can make decisions, because they are living their life and I am not.
Overwhelm them with detail.
Let their parents in the room until the kid asks for them. (I provide openings for this, and ask if the kid wants their parent to help them remember and understand.)
I want to emphasize I went into this job knowing nothing about how to interact with vulnerable populations, especially children. The training was minimal, and my role means that I can literally walk into a facility and get an unmonitored visit with a minor client one on one.
In my years of practice I have never felt threatened by a child, even one that was âviolentâ and âunstable.â It turns out just saying âhi, I think youâre a person with thoughtsâ is wildly successful? Now people treat me like I have special Child Whisperer powers. My powers are that I ask the child whatâs up and Iâm not scared to say things that are objectively awkward. I know nothing about anything.