scanlan is fjord's father: a thesis
it's way past time to compile ALL OF THE EVIDENCE for my all-time favorite crack theory
first of all, fjord is an orphan, and barring some serious plot twists it doesn't look like his parentage is ever going to be relevant. also, as far as i can tell, he doesn't know anything about his parents and has no way of finding out.
so already, there's a chance.
fjord is 33, which places his birth roughly 13 years before the end of vox machina's campaign. scanlan is easily the oldest of VM, and certainly didn't begin his carousing when he met the party, so there's plenty of time to have met a half-orc woman. he doesn't keep track of his past lovers, as evidenced by kaylie, and when asked if a love potion would make him fall for percy, sam replies: "a human man? that was teenage years, baby" implying that scanlan has gone far above and beyond the standard when it comes to hookups. along with everything else about scanlan, really.
so, the timing checks out-- a lone orc woman passing through the coast who either can't or won't take care of a child.
fjord's size/strength has become a running joke of the campaign, but it's worth paying attention to. as showcased by jester, a human doesn't always have to be in the equation to make a mixed-race dnd character. fjord is noticeably shorter and slimmer than other half-orcs/orcs, which makes perfect sense if he happens to have gnomish heritage.
fjord is also very handsome. as a possible son of a famous bard, this needs no explanation.
point three, personality and traits:
scanlan and fjord share two key stats: charisma and wisdom. 20/20 charisma means very handsome, very charming, and very good at manipulation. we see both of them use that last power for not-so-good-things, sometimes.
fjord is also so skilled at voices and mimicry he fools a good number of the party for months before returning to his natural accent (which sounds awfully like a tal'dorei accent as well, but this is a less solid point.) i'm willing to bet he'd have a damn fine singing voice if he tried. he also definitely enjoys having access to more illusion-based magic like disguise self, and enchantment-based magics, both of which are pretty bardic schools.
now, the 7 wisdom score. they manifest in similar ways-- impulsive, prone to getting in over their heads, and having to haul themselves across the line of being a better person. once again not much explanation needed here.
finally, returning to the gnomish heritage thing, fjord has a natural curiosity surrounding magic, throws himself wholeheartidly into whatever he decides is his new path in life, and is extremely resourceful (see: the remorhaz fight during his period of njormalcy.)
i mean, you can't disprove it. so unless matt mercer himself strikes me down, this is my hill