Dragon age origins is likeā¦. Youāre nineteen, new in town, and itās your second day at pizza hut. You donāt even know how to work the register yet and you just watched your manager get carted off by the paramedics. You have no contact info for him, his next of kin, or corporate. The only other employee is the guy whoās been here for two weeks and is a bit of a doofus, and neither of you really know what youāre supposed to do now. You both desperately need this job though, and the doofus at least has a drivers license and *kiiinda* knows how to use the oven so you just. Shrug, and start taking orders and making pizzas and praying to god that the bills are on autopay.
And weirdly enough youāre really good at this: making pizzas and dealing with shitty customers and breaking up fights in the parking lot and pretending to be Duncanās cousin on the phone so the utility company doesnāt cut off the power. But running a store is a lot of work for two dumb kids, so slowly you start accumulating a bunch of competent weirdos to help out, like the nun who left her convent because god told her to help you make pizzas, and the elderly school teacher who just survived a mass shooting, and the guy the papa johns down the street hired to run you over. And really thereās no way any of this should be working as well as it is - youāre absolutely committing fraud of some kind here - but youāve managed to dodge the landlord every time heās stopped by, and the health inspector never shows up to tell you to stop letting your dog hang out behind the counter and youāre all still kinda looking at each other and asking āare we allowed to just do this?ā before shrugging again and continuing to make pizzas, until somehow, through a series of unlikely technicalities, your doofus coworker ends up on the ballot for governor.
And after like five months of this the regional manager wanders in out of nowhere and youāre sure heās about to chew your ass out for this mess, but it turns out heās pretty chill and honestly kind of impressed with how you managed to keep the place up and running all on your own. So now youāre all thinking āthank god, thereās someone here who actually knows how to run a Pizza Hutā only for him to get hit by a car two days later on the night of the Super Bowl.


















