Man In Solitude: A Beast; or A God? Or Depressed?

[thedanalyticalone]

He hadn’t been eating much, being incredibly picky, not even eating his main meal, which isn’t like him. I was starting to get really worried. I ended up setting up a fort on the floor next to where he was laying, keeping food, water, snackies, anything that he might eat, nearby. I pulled in close keeping my nose to his cheek and kept running him until I could stay up no longer. As soon as I woke up I tried to get him to potty. He started dropping randomly, which I didn’t even care about, as long as he was pooping. I got him to go to his bedding, and with a little struggle, we made progress. After a semi burst of energy and eating some of his favorite snack and parsley a couple hours later he had a bigger bathroom visit. He’s been so energetic and happy all day! He won’t leave my side and has been so sweet, as if thanking me and crediting me with him feeling better. Hopefully we are in the clear. I’m keeping a close eye on him in case I need to take him to the vet. I’d do anything for my little buddy, so if anyone reading this has any helpful words, they’re more than welcomed. He’s such an adorable lion’s head. Little papook( pooky for short) I love this little bugger so much, and would do anything to help his health<3

[thedanalyticalone]

Well, a month into my broken foot and life on crutches, I’ve had plenty of time to get better at my main job (stock and crypto trading) while I can’t spend the normal 3-4 hours at the Mma gym. In that regard, the solitude is occupied with useful and fiscally rewarding work, and this little guy. As the days go by, the closer me and the little bunbun get as well. He not only demands cuddles, but will nibble on me if I don’t acquiesce to his demands lol . Not going to lie, I have dreams about protecting him, which means his value permeates my subconscious. He’s adorably sleeping making grunts from whatever he’s dreaming about. Frickin cutest thing ever. If you have never had a bunnies love before, it’s truly special.

[thedanalyticalone]

I had an Mma fight 3 weeks ago On streetbeefs, and I broke my left foot (actually broke the 2nd metatarsal shaft in half and fractured the 3rd metatarsal getting an mri Wednesday to see how it’s healing and if there is additional damage) on his knee on the second kick I threw, and felt it split on the third when my foot lost feeling in the bottom, so I stopped being able to plant weight on it at all, so I Just kept attacking with the injured leg instead. I pushed through the pain and numbness ended up winning by submission. I went back and watched the fight and how many times I kept landing right on the injury. Here’s a compilation of all of those times. It starts with the second kick of the fight (the one that I felt it break on) I’ve had plenty of time in the last 3 weeks in my boot, crutches and minimum exercise lifestyle (which sucks, considering I’m normally in the Mma gym 4-5 hours a day) to contemplate my existence (hence the time to blog about it)

[thedanalyticalone]

My best friend is a bunny. Say hi pooky. Regardless of the various ups and downs of life, and the people who come and go, the love shared between a human and their animal is such a deep bond. And there is this deep connection of trust that you will keep them safe, fed, and cared for. This lil bugger follows me around (I have in and let him free roam, much to the dismay to my cords, baseboards and wooden parts of furniture lol) and if I go to long without cuddling him, he will nose poke me and demand it. He’s spoiled, but will make cute grunt noises and do figure 8 patterns in through my legs and cracks me up doing his zoomies(where they Just randomly take off and start sprinting. When I first got him he was anti human and timid. Wouldn’t come near me. And over time, through patience and care I’ve gained his trust (he even does the “dead bunny flop” where it looks like he Just dropped dead and flops on the floor(a sign they feel safe and can relax apparently) which cracks me up and of course is adorable. Considering I spend most of my days doing kickboxing, BJJ, mma I’m general, which requires a grit and stubborn tough hardness from then individual, it’s nice to find the contrasting softness of love from a bunny. Contrast for the soul. And as I said, while friends, romantic relationships, and those we love pass, and others come and go, the bond between me and my rabbit(I treat him like my son like any true pet lover does haha) stays strong

[thedanalyticalone]

I went from training 5 hours a day at the Mma gym and fighting, to being stuck on crutches with a broken foot; Constant movement, to limited physical activity with plenty of time to contemplate my existence. I keep convincing myself that there are no bad experiences, only useful lessons, and that I am simply in a “lesson-heavy” stage of my life. It certainly has made me wonder why people come into our lives and stay, as well as leave. And how their value of ourselves is defined by them; what aspects of me make them keep making them interact with me. When I’m not around, how do they describe me? And if it’s by training but I am Injured, does my value decrease to them as well? I once heard a wise person tell me “people don’t love you, they love your position. When your position goes away, so do they.” We may not mean to consciously, but ultimately we are all using each other. We are conditioned to interact with each other for certain reasons, and when that reason disappears, being conditioned as we are, we don’t know how to interact or deal with each other outside those perimeters, so we become scarce. What else is a fighter who is too broken to fight, going to offer someone, when that is the “what” I was offering of value. Well, I’ve at least had time to get better with crypto trading and my bunny is pretty happy for the extra cuddles. And I’m sure some deeper meanings will appear as time goes on; perhaps answers to what truly defines me at my core; hopefully before I fade too far into the abyss.