To the moon and back

[thedawnmarieia]

May mas sasakit pa ba sa mga impit na iyak na hindi mo pwedeng samahan ng hagulgol hindi dahil ayaw mong marinig ka nila kundi dahil wala kang karapatang masaktan sa mga bagay na ikaw din ang may kasalanan? Meron pa bang mas sasakit sa tunog ng mga nagbabasagang puso na maingat mong hindi maapakan habang sila'y isa-isa mong pinupulot at ingat-ingatang ipagdikit-dikit at ibalik sa kanyang kinalalagyan na walang iba kundi sarili mo lang naman. May masasakit pa ba sa pag-ibig na gusto mong ipaglaban pero alam mo namang sa simula pa lang talo ka naman? May mas sasakit pa ba? Wala na ata. Sana wala na.

[thedawnmarieia]

You’ll be fine. I promise.

What if I can go back to my 15 year old self? What would I tell her? What advise should I give her knowing that the present I am in now will be her future?

Sometimes when I’m in bed not watching korean drama, I just stare at our ceiling and ask myself, “Is everything now what you’ve been dreaming of?”, “Are you satisfied?”, “Are you even happy?” Then I stopped thinking.

The thing is, what we are in right now are the outcome of our decisions, values and emotions. Surely, I am not satisfied. I have lots of what ifs and regrets but that helps me to become better than my 15 year old self. What ifs and regrets are me constant reminder to do better. To love stronger. To work harder. And to dream bigger. What I am in right now is not what I’ve been dreaming of. Because this life is better than the fancy world I’ve been inventing in my head when I was younger. Am I happy? Hmm. I don’t know what is the meaning of happiness to others but for me, happiness is waking up each day not knowing what will happen but knowing that you have another chance to live, love and laugh. So, I guess I’m happy, dancing on air happy. After all, it’s the little things that really matters.

So to my 15 year old self, just live the life in front of you. Make mistakes, got your heart broken, cry a river, go eat lots of fried chicken, gain weight, take risks and be happy. You’ll be fine. I promise. :3

[thedawnmarieia]

It's so hard to feel happy around toxic people. You got to laugh at their jokes even at your own expense. Occasional jokes about your weight are sure funny, I even make 1 or 2 punchlines about it. But if it's done on a daily basis and the jokes feel nothing but humiliating, maybe I should ask myself if they are worthy to be called friends. Jokes are supposedly funny, not degrading. I'm not easily angered by jests but people should know their limits when it comes to body-shaming. I have loads of bad remarks I can throw back at them whenever they piss me off but I shut my mouth and laugh instead because I know how much it will offend them. And I won't do it because for me, they are friends.

[bookmania]

How long is forever? Sometimes, just one second. 

Lewis Carroll, Alice In Wonderland (via bookmania)

[thedawnmarieia]

These past few days were full of suppressed thoughts. I might start writing again to feel a little better.

[thedawnmarieia]

Pag-ibig. Minsan masarap sa feeling, madalas pinag-lo-loanan. 😉

Nagsimba ako kanina. Mag-isa. Madalas ko namang gawin yun lalo na kapag after duty. Nakinig naman ako kay Father, actually maganda yung sermon niya. Dilat na dilat ako during homily. Nung halos matapos na yung simba, kung saan puro announcements na lang, napansin ko na napapalibutan ata ako ng magkakasintahan. Hahahaha. Out of nowhere napatingin ako kay Jesus on the cross sabay tanong, “Saan na po yung akin?” Hindi nakasagot si Lord. Teary-eyed siya ng very slight. Hehehe. Ang pathetic sa feeling pero sobrang nakakatawa.

Narealize ko lang, yung iba nahanap na nila yung para sa kanila. Yung iba, tingin nila yun na. May mga tao namang nag-aantay pa. Samantalang yung iba, sumuko na. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako sa dalawa. I mean, madalas sa hindi kapag may namimeet akong guy, tinatanong ko na, “Lord, ito na ba yun?” Baka ito na. Pero mare-realize ko eventually na, “Ayy. Hindi pala.”, “Ayy, nagkamali na naman ako.” “Ayy, nyeta. Gusto lang pala ako kilayan ng on-fleek”. Masyado akong deluded sa thinking na mahahanap ko siya sa isa sa mga taong makikilala ko. Masyado akong in love sa idea of falling in love. Masyado akong umasa and in the end, masyado akong nasaktan. Lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na, “Okay lang. Baka kaya hindi pa binibigay ni Lord kasi hindi ka pa stable.” or “God is saving the best for last.” Pero yung totoo, the back of my mind is saying, “Baka wala naman talagang para sa'yo.” Pero pinipilit ko pa rin. Baka naman meron. Sa milyon-milyong lalake sa mundo, imposibleng walang para sa akin? Pero sabi ng mga beki, “teh, posible. Kasi minsan, yung mga lalake, eh hanap rin ay lalake.” Anyway, lovewins. Pero mabait naman ako tsaka mabait ulit. Jusko! Personality na ang labanan teh. Hindi na uso ang ganda. It will fade over time. *Linyahan ng mga chaka* And chubby is the new sexy. *Motto ng mga nabuntis ng pagkain.* Hindi kasi ako maganda, or sexy na tulad ng iba na natulog lang, kumain lang ng apple at naiwala lang yung glass slipper eh nahanap na yung Prince Charming nila. Ako kasi yung babae na nagpuyat sa kdrama, kinain na lahat ng prutas ng fruitsalad kasali pa yung 13Kinds tuwing New Year at naiwala na lahat ng sapatos, tsinelas, sandal at foot socks eh wala pa rin. Minsan tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung “Pangit ba ako? Kapalit-palit ba ako?” Kaso sinarili ko na lang kasi baka ma-#realtalk ako ni Liza Soberano. Hahaha.

Hindi ko naman hinihingi. Pero aantayin ko. Siguro isa ako sa mga taong nag-aantay pa pero never ako magiging isa mga sumuko na. #dearfuturehusbandbuhaykapabaorbakanatokhangkana? ———————-

I posted this for fun. Not to look pathetic. Wait. I shouldn't be explaining. Hahahaha. Anyway, wag masyadong seryosohin. Tatanda ka ng maaga. 😉

[israelmekaniko]

“MAGMAMAHAL KA ULIT GAYA NOONG UNANG BESES MO ITONG SINUBUKAN.”

Halos 100 milyong bagong selyula ang nabubuo sa loob ng katawan natin sa loob lamang ng ilang minuto at halos 100 miyon din ang namamatay. Araw-araw, halos isang daang pirasong hibla ng buhok ang nawawala pero napapalitan din ito kaagad. Yung outer layer ng balat mo, napapalitan every 35 days. Yung patay na kuko mo tumutubo ulit after 6 months. Panibagong set ng red blood cells ang dumadaloy sa mga ugat mo every after 4 months. Nagkakaroon ka ng bagong skeleton every 10 years at nagreregenerate ang muscles mo every 15 years. 

Kung kaya ng iba’t-ibang bahagi ng katawan mo, kaya rin ng puso mo. Darating din ang araw na yung taong itinuring mong malaking bahagi ng buhay mo ay magiging parte na lang ng malungkot mong dati na hindi na dapat balikan. Mawawala din siya sa sistema mo at hindi ka na kakainin ng nakaraan. Maghihilom ang lahat ng elemento ng sakit at galit. Hindi man ganung kadali, mahabang panahon man ang bilangin, ilang bilyong bagong selyula man ang magpapalit-palit sa loob ng iyong katawan, pero darating ka rin doon. Malay mo, sa pagpapalit na ‘yon, maaring dahan-dahan ding pinapalitan ang emosyon mo hanggang sa magising ka na lang na wala na yung dating pagtingin. At kapag nangyari ‘yon, para ka na ulit bagong nilalang. At ang bawat durog na piraso ng puso mo ay mabubuo ulit gamit ang natitirang pirasong hawak naman ng iba para ibigay sa’yo ng buo. 

Magmamahal ka ulit sa panibagong pagkakataon gaya noong unang beses mo itong sinubukan.

[thedawnmarieia]

Nyeta.

[wtfzodiacsigns]

20 Interesting Zodiac Sign Facts About Sagittarius (Part 6)

1. Things  Sagittarius and Taurus have in common : They’re both understanding and appreciate the little things.

2. Sagittarius Turn Ons : Cuddling, snuggling, smiling, laughing, kissing…

3. Sagittarius always can see something is up when you’re hiding things from them.

4. Sagittarius make you feel comfortable and listen to you vent for hours only offering advice at the right time.

5. Sagittarius may appear uninterested but they just naturally keep to themselves.

6. Sagittarius never hide their jealousy because….

Keep reading

[thedawnmarieia]

Pretty accurate

[strwbrrysunget]

Sometimes you give up on the person you love not because you fall out of love, but because you love that person so much that you’re able to sacrifice your own happiness for his.

© The UST Files (via strwbrrysunget)

Fuck this shit. I'm crying.

[quotemadness]

You were scared, but you still got here; don’t forget that.

T.B. LaBerge (via quotemadness)

[thesecretletter]

I fell in love with him and for the first time in my life I truly believed someone was capable of loving me back. I danced around for six months with permanent butterflies in my stomach and permanent bags under my eyes because I simply could not bring myself to sleep at night, texting him was so much more appealing. It was perfect. He is perfect, no one seems to understand me quite like he does, and no one makes me smile so deeply. He was like a drug I couldn’t get enough of and it made me so damn high, I was hooked from day one. One day it just stopped. I have no idea why and can never bring myself to ask, but going cold turkey from such a powerful drug tore me to shreds. Like a true addict all I can think about is my drug, and everything I do leads me back to it somehow. I wake up craving him. I always thought it would be a pleasure to have my heart broken by him, but let me tell you, it wasn’t.

Your secrets are safe here (via thesecretletter)

I'm crying.

[thedawnmarieia]

Yung inis na inis ka sa pambabalewala niya sa'yo pero isang like niya lang sa profile picture mo, naka-smile ka na naman sa kanya. Punyeta!

[thedawnmarieia]

Ghen: Sino? Si *****?

Me: Hindi lang man si ***** ang lalake sa mundo. Maraming lalake dyan.

Maam Joann: Marami ngang lalake sa mundo pero siya lang man ang laman ng puso mo.

Me: Yun nga yung mahirap dun. HAHAHAHA

[quotediaryofficial]

God didn’t bring you this far to leave you…

(via quotediaryofficial)

I know God. I trust you.

[pizza-rella]

when your crush text you first

[thedawnmarieia]

Isn’t it amazing when you found someone you can completely be with yourself when you’re with him. And every time he touches you, like slightest brush of his skin to yours, you just can’t help but lost yourself right in that moment. You supposedly feel scared but the weird thing is, you feel comfortable like you're finally home. ❤

[thedawnmarieia]

Him: Basta sabihin mo kay Janice, wag siya (friend) saktan ah.

Me: Wow! Sa iyo talaga nanggaling yan? Sa inyo talaga? Hahaha

Him: Hahahaha. Bakit?

Me: Basta ikaw (friend), wag mo saktan si Janice ah. Love ko yun!

Him: Love man din niya (friend).

Me: Kaya nga! Kaya nga naggive way na lang ako. Hahaha

Friend: Hindi man niya ako saktan. Di ko man din siya saktan. Basta kayo dalawa, wag niyo din saktan ang isa't isa.

Me & Him: *crickets*