bluejay !! 🪶

he / him | sixteen

[thedieselhimself]

im crashing out ignore these posts

[thedieselhimself]

im so fed up of hoes who think they’re never in the wrong oh my good god get over your victim complex

[thedieselhimself]

hi guys now that the tour is announced can we bring the fandom back it’s getting lonely out here

[livecaboosereaction]

MY R. — FREIGHT FAM ANIMATIC.

content warnings include suicidal implications &. blood, please watch at your own risk.

after two weeks of nonstop work— plus a… half of year break in between the first week and the second, my biggest passion project is done! i’ve had this idea forever, and as my first proper animatic— i’m so proud of this.

i found starlight express thanks to one of my best friends in june of 2024, right as wembley was opening up. although i will forever be a bochum / pre—2018 guy at heart, the freight fam holds such a special place in it as well. i’ve especially connected well with slick, and find most of my days discussing or breaking down her character.

i’ve met so many wonderful people in this fandom, as well as a few bad eggs. but in the end it’s all been worth it for the people i surround myself with. for the family i’ve found because of it. i hope you guys like this and give it some love— and maybe another animatic in the future is possible.

if you’d like to see the designs for my au— here’s slick, porter, lumber, and hydra! i’m happy to answer any questions you guys have about my AU— so feel free to send an ask!

[thedieselhimself]

oh I’m sick this is beautiful

[thedieselhimself]

okay, I’ve slept on it and calmed down a little so the constant floods of tears are gone 😭 here’s a little rant

I truly underestimated how much the closing of starlight would hurt for me. Seeing as I no longer associate myself with a lot of the fandom due to how toxic it’s become, I thought I’d cry for five minutes and it would be done with, but no, I cried about 7 times yesterday and there will probably be more today because I’m still processing everything. Starlight has been my favourite musical since September 2024, as I got curious after seeing a megamix on my for you page. I saw it for the first time on January 5th, 2025 and for the second and final time on August 27th, 2025. I was supposed to have a third visit, but due to illness and injury in the family, I was unable. It hurts, a lot, but I’m not going to blame my gran for breaking her ankle and needing time to recover.

The fandom, at least when I was majorly in it, was such a kind and accepting space. There was little to no judgement from anyone, and I can gladly say I’ve met some of my closest online friends through this amazing show. as well as my evil ex but they don’t count. There have been good times and bad times, but I can say that the good times majorly outweigh the bad. Through Starlight, I rediscovered my love for performing, and I look up to the cast majorly. They are my inspirations, and they make me want to keep following my dreams despite it being difficult sometimes.

The show has, and will continue to be, a comfort for me. When times get rough, I listen to the soundtrack and come away from myself for a little while, and immerse myself in their world.

Thank you to the cast, crew, behind the scenes and everyone involved in Starlight Express for everything.

[thedieselhimself]

I am Not Alright thanks for asking

[thedieselhimself]

nobody contact me after 5:30pm today, will be crying, thank you in advance

[luxlightly]

Having depression is fun because one of the main symptoms is that you want to kill yourself and one of the side effects of the meds is you want to kill yourself but if you at any point even IMPLY you want to kill yourself to your doctors in charge of making you not want to kill yourself, you are forcibly put in "wanting to kill yourself jail".

And I have news that may not surprise you about how "wanting to kill yourself jail" affects your mental state and what it may make you want to do.

[luxlightly]

If you actually want to help someone with mental health issues, come to their house and wash the dishes in their sink. I promise they have them. This is 1000% more effective than locking them up against their will.

[lilyblisslys]

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing

[hyper-fixation-land]

People keep asking why Abbot is always portrayed as the calm, level headed one between him and Robby

Like hmmmm I wonder where people got that idea lol

[wulfhalls]

langdon giggling in the bg help

[notholaenas]

pov: you just visited the pitt

[docbians]

So when Abbot tells a patient with an American flag sticking out of his chest without enough pain meds to "shut his fucking mouth" it's funny, but when my girl Santos privately calls a patient stupid for taking an absurd amount of turmeric supplements, she's an evil, unempathetic, monster? Ok.

[tvgremlin]

EVERYTHING TIES BACK TO MISOGYNY!!!!!

[thedieselhimself]

AW THAT SHIT IS GAY 🔥🔥🔥

sorry this made me think of them bye

[thedieselhimself]

almost died listening to he’s my boy on monday, didnt realise the song was that sad god damn

anyways im concussed so the fic im working on can wait. ao3 writers curse for ya

[thedieselhimself]

psa just because I have a starlight based username doesn’t mean I’m associated with the fandom, I am not in the fandom anymore as in I won’t post related things myself but I will still interact with content

[thedieselhimself]

it’s 2:30pm, ive only gotten out of bed once to go to the bathroom, ive not had anything to drink or eat and I’ve been awake since 9am what

I forgot I have to do that to function