Yeah gurl

only dog can judge me

[just-a-gay-bitch]

one time my friend started dating this anti-gay, pro-life conservative boy and she made him liberal but now he’s gay so it sort of backfired except not for me cause i gave him a blowjob

[goat-named-voldemort]

That was wild from start to finish

[awed-frog]

You didn’t need your heart today, right? Good.

[bbuchanann]

[lady-thor-foster]

His face hurts me

[mnemonicpneumaticknife]

Steve stole a car (borrowed.  Get your feet of the dash).  Natasha is an accessory to car theft and stole Sam’s gear from the government.  Bruce traveled and worked illegally in a bunch of countries.  Thor never lands the Bifrost in a port of entry or goes through customs.  Tony endangered Peter, a minor, and profited from illegal weapon sales.  Scott was a thief and was convicted of theft.  

But sure, call out the guy that was programmed until he had no agency. 

[ithelpstodream]

[asexualcheetah]

This.

[fancyladssnacks]

This. A THOUSAND TIMES, THIS.

[lesbiantiana]

there’s nothing better than plain boneless rice

[lesbiantiana]

picking the bones out of every individual grain of rice is hard work but it’s worth it

[theeffableace]

matte lipstick: sucks every ounce of moisture out your lips

lip gloss: betrays you when the wind starts blowing hair in your face

chapstick: your boring ass best friend that will always have your back

[a-cockwork-orange]

saw this on FB but could only imagine this gif when I read it

[thetenderpassion]

[tobiasxva-deactivated20170810]

Roast the fuck out of them. Being family doesn’t mean you ever have to be okay with that shit.

[gender-evil-rose]

*slow clapping at the dad*

[thailol-deactivated20151204]

[sleepycloudkitten]

do waitresses know that i love them and appreciate everything they do

[sleepycloudkitten]

i had the nicest waitress today who told me my outfit was cute and i wish i was rich cuz I would’ve tipped her so much more if I could

[holisticknight]

If you ever actually wanna help your waitress out, ask to speak to their manager before you leave and then tell the manager how awesome they are. Trust me, it makes a difference. Servers who get compliments from guests and customers get better hours, and the more you’re liked by the people who come in the more forgiving the bosses are when shit goes awry (say if you’re sick or you have a flat so you’re late, etc). Tell the manager. Do it! Aside from tipping it’s one of the best things you can do for us. Tell the manager you thought we were great. Tell the manager that we’re the reason you’re gonna come back. Talk us up! It’s a little like job security - if you tell the manager we’re the reason you’re here, they’re gonna be a lot more reluctant to let us go because then they’re losing your business, and they don’t want that. 

[sleepycloudkitten]

this is good advice, thank you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[dannykitchen]

Advice for girls: buy skinny jeans in the boy’s section

They’re more comfortable, still form fitting, and best of all: THE POCKETS. THEY HAVE ACTUAL POCKETS.

don’t believe me? look:

these are boys pants, and they look just as good on me as any other skinny jeans I own

See that phone? I’m going to put it in the pocket. Must be so small right??

Ah yes, girl pants length. Probably can’t fit any further than that-

what? what’s this?

Good god. Oh good lord in heaven. This is blasphemous.

Look at how much room is still there. There’s chaos in the streets. Babies are crying. Fashion designers are screaming out of fear of the unknown.

Buy your pants in the boys section, girls. Live in the beautiful world you deserve where you can fit shit in your pocket.

[prismatic-bell]

Curvy ladies: Men’s dress pants have more room in the butt. I don’t know why, I only know that all my dress pants for work are off the rack in the men’s department in Target. Literally nobody has noticed, except a couple of my younger coworkers who’ve asked me–you guessed it–”oh my god, where did you find pants with pockets?”

Tall ladies: men’s pants are easier to find in longer lengths than women’s pants are.

Trans ladies: Wanna get on this gravy train, but afraid people will misgender you for wearing clothes off the men’s racks? Step one: tell me who these people are and I will punch them in the face. Step two: if it doesn’t make you dysphoric, please don’t feel obligated to wear pants off the women’s racks if pants off the men’s racks are more comfy/useful to you. I’m a cis woman who’s been wearing pants from the boys’ section and, later, the men’s section, ever since I hit puberty and in thirteen years maybe, maybe half a dozen people have noticed. And it’s always women asking the oh-my-god-pockets question. You’re all good. <3

Fat ladies: you will pay the same for a pair of 42x32 jeans as for a pair of 34x32 jeans, instead of having to pay some kind of Fat Penance Tax by way of being in the “plus size” section. Also, did I mention more room in the butt?

Ladies concerned about modesty: For obvious reasons, there is more crotch space in men’s pants. Embrace it and enjoy a life free from cameltoe worries and spontaneous labia-wedgies when you squat down.

All ladies: I swear to god the waists in women’s pants these days are made specifically to fit exactly nobody so that no matter what you do, your underwear will show. Men’s pants do not do this. The waists sit where they’re supposed to and will actually lay flat against the small of your back instead of flopping open to show your unmentionables to the world. If you want hiphugger jeans, buy one leg-length too small and one waist-size too large and let them hang, and they still won’t accidentally show your undies. Men’s pants will last longer. They cost less, in a lot of cases. Embrace the men’s jeans. Buy the men’s jeans. Stop buying shitty flimsy women’s jeans that wear out in six months.

AND FINALLY: to determine your size in men’s pants, take a tape measure around your waist at its smallest point. This is your waist size and will be the first number in a pair of men’s pants. Next, take the tape measure from about an inch below your no-no squares parts, and run it to your ankle. (You may need a friend or parent to help with this.) This is your inseam length, and will be the second number on a pair of men’s pants. Men’s and boys’ pants are tailored the same way, so if you have trouble finding your waist size in men’s, hop over to the boys’ section. Feel no shame. If they’d give us decent fucking pants we wouldn’t have to steal theirs, right?

[thewinterotter]

Listen you guys, I am SO MAD ABOUT THIS. I’ve seen this first post before, and recently my mom said, “Hey, did you see that post on Tumblr about shopping for jeans in the men’s department?”

And I said yeah, I’d seen it, I’ve been through the Trying To Fit Clothes On My Stupid Body wars, and this post really only applied to skinny jeans because they’re so stretchy. It couldn’t possibly work for regular jeans! I have TRIED SO MANY TIMES. I’ve always shopped in the men’s department because women’s clothes are like 90% bullshit and 10% fake pockets.

But I hadn’t seen the second addition, which gave me more hope, and I decided to just try on a few pairs when I was at Old Navy the other day. They have some “classic” jeans with no give to them at all, which is what I was trying on years ago that convinced me it just wasn’t possible. (Jeans in my price range didn’t really come with any form of stretch back then, as I recall. Textile technology is bad-ass.) But these days they mostly have “flex” jeans that have some give to them. (Women’s jeans are usually labeled “stretch” but apparently men’s have to be “flex” like they need stretchy garments so their HUGE MUSCLES don’t just TEAR THEIR CLOTHES!)

This was totally an impulse decision so I couldn’t measure myself, but I grabbed a few sizes based on what I vaguely thought my measurements probably were and decided it couldn’t possibly be worse than the endless cycle of regret, dissatisfaction, and recrimination that is trying on women’s clothing.

The first pair I tried on fit like a DREAM. I’ve been gaining weight lately which is a whole separate nightmare (mainly centered around “but I don’t WANT to buy new bras, this is bullshit!”) and the reason I need to buy new jeans because nothing freaking fits me, and I was sure these wouldn’t either, but DAMN. They’re the best pair of jeans I own. Twice as thick, pockets twice as big, legs nice and loose (they don’t even sell women’s jeans with a cut remotely similar to this), and contrary to my super dumb opinion from before this experience, they’ve got my plenty of room for all my womanly curvey bits. AND because they’re actually a relaxed fit instead of trying to cling to every inch of me, they don’t show my weight nearly as much as my women’s jeans do, they’re easier to move in, they’re not constantly inching down my hips with every move I make, and overall they just make me feel GOOD about how I look which is a strange new sensation I could definitely get used to.

It’s like a miracle. I want to cry both out of joy and because of all the shitty jeans now filling my closet when I could have been buying comfortable, relaxed, pocket-having men’s jeans all these years. Many blessings to the posters above, may your crops grow and your cows give milk and your jeans hold all the gadgets you desire.

[thatoneartyishperson]

Also: men’s pants have constant sizes that are based off of actual measurements instead of the women’s whatever-the-company-wants-to-make-the-size sizes. They’re far more reliable and your size will translate to other brands.

[inconspicuouslyevil]

@get-dunkd-on help me remember this for our next Goodwill run lmao

[fenland-witch-deactivated202005]

I HAVE to try some men’s jeans. Sick of these super skinny show everything always having to be hitched up no pocket crap jeans!

[k-lionheart-deactivated20171126]

Honestly signal boost. Because imagine this actually starts some kind of ludicrous pants revolution that ends up causing women’s pants fashion company’s sales to tank, absolutely forcing them to realize men’s pants have always had the right idea and start doing that instead of this bullshit. Like just imagine. And don’t just signal boost this. Tell every woman you know. Tell every trans friend and every curvy friend out there. You see a lady down the street, stop her and tell her you’ve discovered a new gospel and it’s purchasing men’s pants. With the way women spread information when we’re excited, the mentioned scenario could actually be hella achievable

[akreliadeklavesht-deactivated20]

PRAISE THE UNIVERSE I FOUND THIS POST AGAIN

[what-even-is-thiss]

Guys. Gals. Non binary pals. As a trans ftm person who just recently started shopping in the men’s department and has gigantic hips full of dysphoria let me tell you a thing.

Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. I repeat. Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. You don’t need to go to the dress pants to fit your lovely curvy self in there. Go to the regular section or big and tall if you’re a bit taller and/or wider, and there’ll be a little section of athletic style jeans. They’ve still got the giant blessed pockets and the room in the crotch and if you’re really curvy with a large bone structure like I am you can get yourself some quality pants.

This has been an addition by your local nb trans dude. Thank you for your time.

[sulrae]

Reblog to save a fucking life

[handsomedogs]

This is Guinevere, my mother’s pit bull, and she’s the only dog I’ve ever heard try to purr – @cephalopodvictorious

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

people actually get so used to benevolent weirdness in their towns like. if you started wearing a dracula cape everywhere in my town, everyone would just come to accept it.

“hey, was that the dude who wears dracula capes everywhere?”

“yeah, he’s really nice, I talked to him in rite aid once. sorta weird obviously, but cool.”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

this post is so blessed bc all of the notes are just people talking about the benevolent weirdos in their towns and I hope they’re all having a good day out there, inspiring people to go out and wear their dracula capes or w/e

[asthewheelwills]

Texas Republican Blocks State's Bathroom Bill: "I Don’t Want The Suicide Of A Single Texan On My Hands"

Joe Straus wants the Republican Party to "focus on fiscal issues and away from the divisive stuff."

Today in “Texas lawmakers doing something right for fucking once”

[wombatking]

Joe Straus is a moderate Jewish Republican who has been battling against the Tea Party for a long time, and has been repeatedly targeted for defeat - as well as anti-semitic abuse - because of this. This doesn’t surprise me. I wish there were a lot more like him. 

[fierceawakening]

Thank you, Joe Straus.

I wish we did not live in a time where what you did required bravery. But, unfortunately, we do.

Thank you for your courage.

[violent-darts]

Hey guys, especially in Texas?

You should send this guy thank you cards and positive thank you emails and that kind of shit.

I can guarantee that his office is getting flooded with nasty bullshit over this. It gets really, REALLY bleak and lonely when that’s ALL you get. Letting him know that he did good (yes, even if JUST on this one issue, if you disagree with everything else) is actually REALLY HELPFUL for encouraging politicians to do what you want. 

[wenchyfloozymoo]

[glumshoe]

hope u get run over

Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately, it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.

[asarlaithe-deactivated20220528]

please remember that in a healthy, adult relationship (romantic or not), you should be able to talk about things that are bothering you. if you are bottling up your emotions and holding it against someone when you haven’t told them what is wrong, you’re not engaging in healthy behaviour. but also, if your friend/significant other makes you feel as though you can’t talk about what bothers you- i.e. has made you feel guilty/gotten extraordinarily angry when things were brought up in the past- they are not engaging in healthy behaviour.