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i like all of my own posts. i consider it self love

my life is like a shitty movie franchise, whenever there's a perfect time to end it, it doesn't end and i have to keep living cheap crappy cash grab of a sequel

#maybe if people stopped caring the producers will realize it's more trouble than it's worth #and maybe in the next movie i will be texting my ex again even though we already did that plot

the human body can't handle 25 chicken nuggets omg i'm dying

#ouchy ouchy #i was going to only eat 10 but then i forgot to season the honey mustard #so i made 10 more and seasoned it and now it hurts :(

i forgot that i was trying to make this blog all funny and light hearted so just ignore the not funny and light hearted posts please

#i am both funny and light hearted

got stuff to make gazpacho!! maybe life isn't so bad

#i like gazpacho

i had a dream i got drunk off of one shot, but idk how realistic it is because i've never been drunk :(

#i did have a shot once tho

junglejim4322

Remember when I was going crazy 5 minutes ago [chuckle of fond remembrance] amazing how time changes people

god knew i'd be too powerful if i was born with a will to live

#oh well #time to releflect on my childhood #jk i avoid that at all costs

bungerc0re

it's normal to like blood it's very normal

whenever i shower and i look at the tiles for too long i start to see faces and they are always so mean looking like what did i do to you?

#i don't like the scary faces

every time i watch lotr i'm reminded of how much i love the Haradrim, and the horn that hey have it's like really cool.

#Haradrim

lewddyke

If I came up to you in a lesbian bar and told you to bark like a dog for a sour gummy, would you?

esthermika

I would commit murder for a sour gummy

i'm going to reread Of Ants and Dinosaurs for the third time because it's just that good

#cixin liu is a great writer

i got a bag of halloween fruit snacks, i'm so happy

#candy

i'm closeted but some jahova witnesses just called me a woman without me saying my preferences or anything so i'm feeling very good rn

#i did not know they were jahova witnesses when i went to answer the door

i got my wisdom teeth removed and i can't find many things to eat :(

#owie my teeth

my waters extra slurpy today

#water

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