The Everlasting Diverson

Hi! I write things. I'm on AO3 under "TheExplodingPen." Head over to my Ask and prompt me, please :) Fandoms I write for/GIF for: James Bond, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Avengers (Marvel), Now You See Me, Welcome to Night Vale, Merlin, Sherlock, X-Men: First Class

[unwins]

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

I love how Eggsy’s attitude to fighting has gone from (ง'̀-‘́)ง to (◕‿◕✿).

Nice job, Harry.

[stephenhawqueen]

a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay

[malfoycat-blog]

neville: *messes up his potion*

gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you

neville: an idiot sandwich

[iamthepureblindraven-blog]

no no no!

Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior

Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*

GR: What’s going on?

Neville: *explains how he messed up*

GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.

Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*

[mirab3lle]

Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.

[wickedbitchofthewestcoast]

He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.

[lehrastar-deactivated20250708]

this is everything I have ever wanted and THEN some

[fanningsistersdaily]

‘About Ray’ Trailer

[cryptidyke-deactivated20181126]

TRANS MOVIE TRANS MOVIE YESSSS

[quillsand]

My mum didn’t know it was a TV show and she freaked out when she saw me googling ‘How To Get Away With Murder’

Long story short, she called the whole family round and gave us the standard ‘murder will not be tolerated in this family’ lecture

[dubblebubble]

I WILL REBLOG THIS UNTIL I DIE

[eyesofanangeltongueofadevil]

the standard ‘murder will not be tolerated in this family’ lecture

[striders]

there’s not anyone on my dash talking about obama’s plan to provide two free years of community college to everyone who’s willing to do 8 hours of community service per term and maintain a 2.0 gpa and let me just say: please, god, holy shit???????

[skindeeptales]

On her 90th birthday grandma Heather Brooks got her first tattoo. She chose a Cancer Research pink ribbon to signify her victory after a five year battle with cancer.

via Things & Ink

[wynn1ng]

This gives me all the feels.

[mojosodope178-deactivated201504]

But what are you gonna think in 30 years when you’re 120?

[themindsweepz-deactivated201601]

that comment made my day

[guardian]

The best slapdowns of 2014

The Canadian delegation at Nato posted this sarcastic tweet with a map highlighting “Russia” in red and “Not Russia” in blue. The tweet was described as Canada’s most aggressive act since 1812. 

[rareandradiant-maiden]

The tweet was described as Canada’s most aggressive act since 1812. 

[the-best-shy-i-can-be-deactivat]

[gorillamunchies-deactivated2013]

why does this make me feel mad

[dadasbaba-deactivated20170426]

Because he’s considered powerful, and she’s considered a whore.

[supralunae]

*shots fired*

[kitty-latte]

i think they were referring to the fact that thEY’RE BOTH DEFYING THE FUCKING LAWS OF GRAVITY AND THE ONE TIME I TRIED HANGING OFF A MONKEY BAR I BROKE MY NOSE

[royreiddotca]

Some days are good… and some days you just feel like the only dog at a llama orgy.

[doncdesole]

oh my fucking god. 

[mybigfatgaylife]

Okay NOW I’m reblogging this.

[nuclearharvest]

[ghost-b-o-y-deactivated20140210]

sunset on mars by the spirit rover 2005

do you understand this IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FUCKING PLANET HOLY SHIT YOUR PROBLEMS DONT MATTER WHEN YOU LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. YOUR PROBLEMS DONT MATTER OUT THERE

[brainofgee]

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THIS WITHOUT CLICKING ON THE PHOTOO!! Amazingggggg

[aprilsludgate-deactivated201503]

#bitches ain’t shit and they ain’t saying nothing #a hundred mothafuckas can’t tell me nothing

[varlandgear-deactivated20180722]

When a vampire washes itself, rain will fall from heaven. Thus, when a drought occurs, nobles send all their men to wash, because any of them may be a vampire.

From Agnes Murgoci’s 1927 paper The Vampire In Roumania, as found in The Vampire Casebook compiled by Alan Dundes

This is so amazing to picture. Like ok men, we know PROBABLY some of you are vampires. IT HAPPENS. This is old timey Romania. That’s how it works. So hey don’t worry, no questions asked, personal business is personal business, but if EVERYONE would just go take a shower we would really appreciate it. Thanks. 

(via varlandgear)

[anothersaxophonist-deactivated2]

rest rest REST REST REST REST REST REST

[thatladykatieofcamelot]

WHY IS THERE A CRESCENDO UNDER A REST?!?

[what-the-fiish]

I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS OH MY GOD

[nevermindtheb0ll0cks]

[ruingaraf]

[themarchrabbit]

Seriously, it kills me when I see people hold scientists up as pinnacles of logic and reason.

Because one time the professor I was interning for got punched in the face by another professor, because mine got the funding, and told the other professor his theory was stupid.

This same professor told me to throw rocks to scare the “stupid fucking crabs” into moving so we could count them properly.

SCIENCE

[ruingaraf]

thank you

this is one of the best comments this post has recieved

[tyrror]

I have witnessed:

Two professors hiding around a corner and snickering, “Shhh, here she comes!” While a female professor approached and, when she finally found them, she proceeded to scream while pointing from one to the other, “You! I called your office but you weren’t there! So I tried to call YOUR office to figure out where HE was but YOU weren’t there!”

Two grad students standing outside a closed and locked door yelling, “Come out of the damn office. You haven’t left for days. If you didn’t have a couch in there I’d be concerned as to where you were sleeping!”

A religious studies professor apologizing for being late to class because, “security stopped me because I’m dressed like a hobbit”

Watched a professor snort the results of my experiment to determine if I had the right final compound.

Two archeology professors toss priceless fossilized teeth back and forth in an attempt to figure out who is smarter by “guessing the type of tooth and species of animal before it lands”

Multiple fully degreed individuals throw dry ice at one another in an attempt to be first to use the lab/get that piece of equipment/or change the iPod song.

A genetics professor build furniture out of stacks of paper and planks of wood because she is that far behind in grading papers/responding. One of the impromptu furniture pieces housed a fish tank.

I could go on but I think that covers the larger portion of the insanity…

[gessorly]

Every time it comes around on my dash, it gets better.

[thepioden]

- I have had a professor buy a huge fuckoff bottle of rum during fieldwork in Costa Rica and let the undergrads get wasted because “you’re not underage in Costa Rica and we’ll be up all night with the bats anyway!”

- Same professor hung a bat from her headlamp and wore it as a decoration for an entire night. 

- A whole swarm of older women - and these are women with PhDs and world-renown bat experts, the bigwigs - all, to a woman, go to the formal charity dinner at an international research symposium in Toronto in late October dressed in skimpy Batgirl costumes. Because Halloween was that weekend, you see.

- At a different conference, a professor get blackout drunk and pass out on the side of the road. 

- “Yeah, we have to say we did it properly for the grant but to be really honest, Miracle-gro works better.”

- Teaching lab: we had liquid nitrogen for a demo, and after class the professor, the other TA, and I spent a good two hours freezing and breaking things in it. 

[onsheka]

a chemistry class begins with 30 students nine months later just six of us left sitting on tables dipping paper into contaminated chemicals to see what happens when we burn it teacher making idle suggestions while he marks our work

"go to the fume hood thing, yeah now put some potassium in chlorine" can i burn the results sir? "fuck it sure whatever its tainted anyway"

[themarchrabbit]

The prof I’m working for just asked me if I knew how to pick a lock, and when I responded “yes” she replied, “see, this is why I hire the former delinquents instead of the suck-ups. You’re actually useful.”

I then let her into her office.

[helah-deactivated20190130]

The professors named our group the KGB as a joke. One of them has a building named after him.

[akiyty]

when i was a grad student, i got my trip to a conference paid for on the condition that at 4am i went and fetched {super big name prof} out of a strip club and fed him enough coffee for him to give the keynote first thing :)

[iridescent-tendencies]

Today we were talking about sexuality in psychology and at one point we were talking about homosexuality in animals and my teacher says “so if homosexuality is something that occurs in the wild, what can we infer about it?”

And unanimously the whole class goes “it’s natural.” And I was trying to blink away tears because I’d never heard a group of 30 people agree so easily before. It was just so powerful.

"It’s natural"

[stunningpicture]

$180,000 Aston Martin killed by $200 pink car

[marlbororedgirl]

aesthetic

[autonomous-geordie-deactivated2]

Class war.