🌻 My name is Julien, but you can also call me Faye/ Pixie or Lucas, Arthur, Juniper, Nickolas, Wesley, Felix, Rhys, Faegan, Quincy, Sasha, Percy/ Perseus, Jupiter, Ronan, Rosamel, Canelo, or Gwyn as I'm polynym and collect names. Especially ones of cultural relevance to me and my heritage!
🌿 I use He/ Fae/ Thee/ Comet/ Star pronouns, sometimes It/Its pronouns as well, don't use They/ Them for me.
🌻 Just turned 26!
🌿 I'm taken in the queerest t4t way ❤️🔥💍
🌻 This is my personal blog I'll be using to post about being queer (transmasc nb, agender, mspec gay/ homoflexible, and so on), physically disabled, mentally ill, plural (in a traumagenic way), neurodivergent, service dog handler, cat dad, pagan druid spiritualist, and multicultural (as a white-passing bipoc reclaiming mutt to refer to myself). Intersectionality is basically the theme of this blog, just with a nice fairy theme in the background due to being a fae changeling, amongst other faerie things.
🌿 I may also discuss my special interests and hyperfixations on this blog, vents (especially ones related to the topics of this blog), current joys, and things I like in general! If you want to follow me elsewhere, my reblog blog is @thefaereblogs, my plurality blog is @thefruitsaladbats, and my therian related blog is @therioddonesout !
🌻 This is the DNI/ BYF section of the intro, so if you're curious about my beliefs and values: read on! Also, I follow my own DNI (as should you tbh), and I block as I see fit. It's nothing personal, just simple incompatibility here.
I do not support radqueers, terfs/ swerfs, transmeds, radfems, sexism, misogyny, androphobia, or any form of discrimination against queerness! I also support good faith trans identities! I do believe in transmisogyny as well as transandrophobia as well as other descriptive terms for queerphobia. I've experienced most forms of discrimination for being queer, and my experiences (as well as the experiences of others) cannot and will not be erased. I do not believe in TMA/ TME for this reason, and I'm cautious when using AFAB or AMAB language as it excludes and diminishes the experiences of intersex people and acts as if transmisogyny is exclusive to the treatment of trans women, transandrophobia is exclusive to the treatment of trans men, and so on. Let us all have our own words to describe discrimination against us and use/ create more inclusive terms, and stop policing language! Also, Harry Potter fans can fuck off! I can't believe I have to say this in 2026!!!!
I do not support pro contact for harmful paras, but I don't believe paraphiles are inherently predatory or dangerous, do no harm and you have my instant respect and support.
I do not support transrace people, nor do I support racism (so fuck the police/ military, ICE, war, bigots, and fascists), transabled people (which includes willogenics), any form of ableism, sysplex, or polymind. I am also endo critical. The future is NOT plural, but it should be made more accessible to plural people/ systems.
I also don't support the use of AI in any way, shape, or form. This is not a political statement, this is about community care and saving the planet so we don't cause a mass extinction event while stepping on writers and artists and destroying their careers by stealing their work.
Do no harm, take no shit. Also: a kind reminder that freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences. Do something fucked up? Expect the same energy back AND people being upset with you. You are not exempt.
🌿 The message below is brought to you by @/coyotesinew / @/coyotebrained (thank you for your permission to share!!!)
Ugh I need transmasc AND transfem Jax in my life at all times, also? Fuck it, nonbinary Jax! I can't get enough, what is it with me and cynical, trans-coded, purple bunny characters? I just want to see this one character in the full gender spectrum, it's so beautiful 🥰
Some people will tag fics with #gn!reader and then be like "btw I will be using she/ her pronouns for the reader for the purpose of the story and also she has boobs and a vagina, ya know, just for the sake of the story, and also let me never write with diverse readers in mind because actually everything and everyone is straight and skinny or white or conventionally attractive forever with the same exact fashion sense, and also fanfic is only for women" and just not take any criticism for it...
I know the answer is to just write specifically for diverse people myself, I am a published writer actually, but I feel like I shouldn't have to just to see representation for myself and others like me. I'm still going to write some because hell yeah, but what I mean is that I hate that if I didn't there'd be so little representation that it almost feels like there's none and it's frustrating af.
If you or someone you know writes for a diverse reader audience I'd LOVE to be sent their way, please and thank you!! Queer (especially t4t, bonus points for gay or mspec t4t), POC/ BIPOC/ overall non-white or mixed, disabled, neurodivergent, and plus-sized x reader fics and writers to the front! I love and appreciate y'all (platonically) 💕🎉
(This isn't a specific callout post btw, just something I've noticed, I'm not trying to generalize, but I see this issue A LOT and needed to get it off my chest before it consumes me completely. I'm tired of people like me being an afterthought)
The service dog community is so full of vitriol for people with atypical (and even typical) circumstances and it's so disheartening
I can't get a program dog because they're $30,000+ and uncovered by insurance, don't train multipurpose, and they think autism is for children and PTSD is for veterans. On the other hand, paying over $3,000 for a breeder puppy I'll be training with a service dog specific trainer is a surefire way to ensure that I struggle to pay for puppy vet visits because I, a physically disabled and neurodivergent person, struggle to find jobs and to work, which is somehow a big surprise to others in the SD community despite this being a common issue.
I get that a lab or golden is best, I've been researching that very thing for the last 10 years and I agree, but I can't find a good lab or golden breeder that is within my price range (again $3,000 per puppy or less), but I have found a poodle breeder for that price point, as well as a collie breeder and a corgi breeder who breeds corgis for service work and regularly donates to programs, and they all seem truly amazing and I have a lot of confidence in their abilities to create the perfect prospect for me...
But every single comment under my posts asking for better understanding of poodles, collies, and corgis as well as a request for breeder recommendations for labs and goldens is about how it'll never work and I should just give up and it's like... why do you even recommend these breeds then? Why is every judgement something along the lines of "you should die because you're not doing things exactly like me and therefore you're wrong about everything even though you researched long and hard about it."
I even specify that I'm mainly looking at poodles, the breed they should be the most okay with, because they're my main consideration since I like that they're low allergen and will feel more considerate to the public while I'm in college, and someone will ALWAYS, EVERY SINGLE TIME, be in the comments explaining how hypoallergenic is the wrong term to use... even though I never said it even once in my post.
Like... fml I guess but I thought maybe I could get some form of understanding and further info from people who are willing to discuss it with me. I just need a dog that can do seizure and cardiac alert/ response, a few retrieval tasks, a simple leading task, and a few comforting tasks.
My boyfriend cut my hair today to make it more manageable (because it's thick and there's lots of it and it's summer) so he shaved both sides of my head and we left the rest long and layered and there's SO much versatility in this cut that I didn't even realize! I can style it all on one side or split it down the middle, I can have it up or down in any way I choose, I can braid it if that's what I think will look best, and I can actually feel the relief of the fan or AC when it's pointed at me for once!! Having mixed hair kinda sucks at times, but I'm glad that my boyfriend and I have mixed hair together 🥰
I should also point out that in several of the cultures that my family and I come from, hair is sacred af and only select people can touch or cut it, and the if/ when/ how you cut it matters, so this is extremely important for me! I don't let just anyone cut my hair, but it has been a full year since I escaped my abuser/ evil ex and so it's time for me to shed that skin and continue to grow past his presence in my life, and what could be better than celebrating that freedom with new love to the point that the new love is what helps you shed that skin?
My boyfriend cut my hair today to make it more manageable (because it's thick and there's lots of it and it's summer) so he shaved both sides of my head and we left the rest long and layered and there's SO much versatility in this cut that I didn't even realize! I can style it all on one side or split it down the middle, I can have it up or down in any way I choose, I can braid it if that's what I think will look best, and I can actually feel the relief of the fan or AC when it's pointed at me for once!! Having mixed hair kinda sucks at times, but I'm glad that my boyfriend and I have mixed hair together 🥰
I should also point out that in several of the cultures that my family and I come from, hair is sacred af and only select people can touch or cut it, and the if/ when/ how you cut it matters, so this is extremely important for me! I don't let just anyone cut my hair, but it has been a full year since I escaped my abuser/ evil ex and so it's time for me to shed that skin and continue to grow past his presence in my life, and what could be better than celebrating that freedom with new love to the point that the new love is what helps you shed that skin?
My boyfriend cut my hair today to make it more manageable (because it's thick and there's lots of it and it's summer) so he shaved both sides of my head and we left the rest long and layered and there's SO much versatility in this cut that I didn't even realize! I can style it all on one side or split it down the middle, I can have it up or down in any way I choose, I can braid it if that's what I think will look best, and I can actually feel the relief of the fan or AC when it's pointed at me for once!! Having mixed hair kinda sucks at times, but I'm glad that my boyfriend and I have mixed hair together 🥰
yknow when i was like almost 16 and i came out as trans a lot of people thought i was going through a phase. and im like yeah ok fair enough, i have felt this way my whole life but i obviously wasnt in a safe place to really tell anyone so ill give it time. 3 years later i started t and people were like "dont do that, youre just going through a phase, youll regret it" and im like ok well i havent transitioned yet so we'll give it time. but i still have people telling me its a phase, im doing it for attention, and ill inevitably detransition and im like look man its been 8 fucking years ok at what point are we going to be like "ok maybe hes serious"
Do you ever wonder... if someone in your life or in media or a celebrity were far less hate-able, or maybe just annoying to you personality-wise, would you maybe end up find their voice pleasant?
It is SO hard as someone with dog breed autism to look at service dog breeds and separate what I need from what I want and try to make a cohesive argument to myself about why any one particular breed (of the recommended breeds) suits me more than the others. It's all this big, blurry gray area, and every time I think I know what's best for me and my situation I hit another wave of research and the information I find completely cancels out all my previous findings whether it's dog breed behavioral studies, owner accounts, or just extreme puppy fever for one particular breed at the moment.
Infodump below ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Goldens and labs are great in that they just do what they're told. They're pretty smart but also kinda dopey and they're built for jobs like this. As hunting dogs, they have a quiet focus when on the job and a goofy attitude at home. Their food, play, and praise motivation levels are off the charts, which makes them easy to motivate. They live to please! They can be your couch potato or your athlete depending on energy levels and whether they're field-bred or showline-bred (field bred dogs typically need 60-120 minutes of physical exercise and a decent amount of mental stimulation, and showline bred dogs need more regular exercise instead such as 45-90 minutes of physical exercise and a decent amount of mental stimulation), their height and weight make them amazing for pretty much any task you give them, and they're not very high-maintenance dogs when it comes to grooming (though goldens do need more brushing). They also have decent lifespans and health levels, but when compared to other breeds in this post you may be swayed by the health statistics of at least one of the other breeds I'll mention.
Collies (rough and smooth ones, not border collies) also make amazing service dogs! They're alert, attentive, and in-tune with their handler, they're not easily distracted by social situations because they're not as outwardly friendly as a lab or golden, and they're very intelligent dogs. They're pretty easy to train, but they can have a stubborn or independent streak (as all super intelligent breeds do tbh), and are often most motivated by praise, but play and treats also typically work for them still! This breed has two different coat lengths: rough (long and fluffy) or smooth (short and close to the skin), so grooming needs will vary, but overall they're also not super high maintenance unless it's shedding season. They also need regular physical exercise, but they aren't typically marathon runners, nor do they need daily hikes. Once or twice a week hikes would suffice! Just 45-90 minutes of daily physical exercise should do, and don't forget to give them lots of mental stimulation. These dogs also have decent health levels, but they need more monitoring as they can be quite sensitive to many things, including certain types of anesthesia. Their lifespans are also pretty nice tbh, so you'll have a pretty decent length career together as a service work team! There's also a smaller version of this breed, the shetland sheepdog, that is very similar to the collie and so if you don't need mobility related tasks and would prefer a smaller dog, I'd highly recommend them!
Standard poodles seem to vary more than the other dogs in their level of recommended-ness and needs depending on the owner's lifestyle and the tasks at hand. This hardy breed has great health and a really long lifespan (I've seen them live up to 20 years old, COMMONLY), a deep sensitivity that will affect their ability to work (which is why they're not typically recommended for PTSD work), and a low-shedding coat that will help you in public access situations around people with allergies. While you are entitled to also be there by ADA law, I do think it's a very useful trait if you work with the public or are in any form of school environment often just to minimize conflict and accessibility issues. These dogs are incredibly intelligent, as you may have guessed/ already known, but to be specific they are the second most intelligent dog in the world (second only to the border collie). This means that they need an immense amount of mental stimulation, and as a sporting and companionship breed they do need a decent amount of regular exercise, but they can exercise anywhere from 30-120 minutes a day and thrive/ love life! What matters more is the mental stimulation, but both are extremely important! These dogs are praise and play motivated mainly, but they're still dogs and therefore can still be food motivated as long as you understand their value system when it comes to treats (most dogs LOVE hotdogs or chicken or cheese the most). They're a hiking and sporting dog but also a beautiful cuddle buddy all wrapped into one with the intelligence (and occasional stubborn independence) of a small human child. They can and will outsmart you or exploit your rules to find loopholes, and they need their training to be fun/ engaging and worth it to them to get the job done. This can be a challenge for some, but everyone I've ever known who has/ had a poodle swears by them! Lastly, depending on how you cut their coat, they can be difficult to groom at home and therefore this is an added cost if you're not comfortable shearing your canine sheep yourself. You can shave them in a multitude of ways, so there's a cut for everyone, and you can even twist or cord their hair (yes, hair), dye it any color you want, shave designs into their coat, anything you want. Poodles are the most customizable dog out there! They also come in mini and toy, there is no such thing as a teacup or merle poodle, that is a marketing ploy, and merle poodles are not purebred.
Corgis and cockers aren't in the top 4, but many people and places recommend them (and I share the opinion with many others online that ANY dog breed can become a service dog, just not every single dog themselves)! These breeds are smaller in size, but just as capable as the big dogs when it comes to training. They may not be able to do everything that a big dog can, but they certainly do a lot/ most of it! They are also recommended more than other smaller breeds due to their temperament, health/ lifespan, and capabilities all lining up with exactly what service dog handlers and trainers are looking for! These tiny sweeties are friendly but not too friendly, intelligent to the extreme, and fairly active dogs despite their size. They're big dogs in little bodies, which is what gives them the confidence to do public access work, and they aren't afraid to be a little pushy with humans. These dogs are highly intelligent, easily motivated, portable,and even though they shed quite a bit they're fairly easy to groom as they don't need haircuts, just brushing and bathing (aside from nail, ear, and dental care)! They need 45-120 minutes of daily exercise, lots of mental stimulation, and the corgis will specifically need accommodations themselves such as staircases up to taller furniture, assistance with going up and down long staircases, and breaks during heavy exercise with both lead-ups and cool-downs to assist their joints. They can endure a lot, but that doesn't mean they should have to, and especially not all at once if it can be avoided/ broken up.
Thank you for reading if you've read all of this, the info in this post comes from a decade of research into these breeds with all my info coming from the AKC, dog breed-specific clubs, owners of the breeds themselves, dog trainers/ groomers, and other reputable sites! I think it's safe to say, after reading all of this, that it's really hard to pinpoint what might benefit me and my situation, and I did leave a breed out that I'd love to have for service work (the great dane) because they don't live very long unless you buy them super expensive food and medical treatment and even then it's a gamble, and they're already expensive to care for without all that simply because they're a very large dog and therefore require lots of food and water, lots of anesthesia for surgery or high doses for vaccines when it comes to basic medical care, and bathing supplies run out fast just due to their sheer size, they have floppy ears that can be prone to infection, and they're not even a breed with a big fluffy coat so... overall it's kinda hard to justify getting one until I have a super steady career with decent, modern equivalent middle class level income at this point. Despite them being otherwise perfect for service dog work that is! And I'm STILL fighting myself about greyhounds, they are NOT as trainable or reliably motivated as other service dog breeds and therefore aren't on my list, but they're wonderful dogs that are easy to care for and match my exercise needs, but I think I'll just make a whole other post on greyhounds. They're just... perfect dogs.
If I had been born as a gay little cis boy, I think I would've LOVED going to all-boys summer camps and the boy scouts and experience genuine gay boyhood, I kinda feel robbed of that experience tbh, but being gay and t4t has been wonderful at the very least, but at the cost of having been the outcast weird "girl" as a kid/ teen for most of my life, and after coming out I was the "delusional/ confused weird girl" in everyone's eyes for YEARS until my physical transition became outwardly visible to others. Maybe one day I'll get to have a similar enough experience to scratch that itch at least a tiny bit?
I can't stop thinking about this, I feel like if I were cis I'd also be much more comfortable with performing drag (which is something I've always wanted to try as someone with 10+ years of experience with being fearlessly on stage/ being into performance arts) and having more of a public footprint/ be more active in my community, but transitioning in this increasingly terrifying world has made me much more of a recluse than I'd like to admit. I'm not agoraphobic, but I've definitely bordered on it a few times, and that scared me quite a bit. Being disabled doesn't help either since I'm not allowed to drive until I go on medications that scare me (as I'm really sensitive to most medications and get violently ill on them) or get a service dog (an idea that thrills me tbh, dogs are a special interest). The only issue with a service dog is my family, who have done everything in their power to prevent me from having one.
If I had been born as a gay little cis boy, I think I would've LOVED going to all-boys summer camps and the boy scouts and experience genuine gay boyhood, I kinda feel robbed of that experience tbh, but being gay and t4t has been wonderful at the very least, but at the cost of having been the outcast weird "girl" as a kid/ teen for most of my life, and after coming out I was the "delusional/ confused weird girl" in everyone's eyes for YEARS until my physical transition became outwardly visible to others. Maybe one day I'll get to have a similar enough experience to scratch that itch at least a tiny bit?
Ugh sorry I started a bunch of side blogs at like... the worst time ever, the grieving is still there but far less intrusive/ thought consuming than it used to be, so I'm going to attempt getting back to posting on them again. Sorry to those who followed me because they were interested only for me to end up not posting for weeks, it truly couldn't be helped in any way. Baba means a lot to me. I even had commissioned her as an Animal Crossing character in my early teens (I forget who the artist was because it was like... 13 or so years ago, but still! It may have been a popular reptile artist though if I'm remembering it right, and it was really affordable, like... $8 or so, if you are the artist and you recognize your art PLEASE tell me, I'd love to credit you and commission you again!!)
Happy pride month!! Don't forget that July is disability pride (amongst other things), accessibility and pride go hand in hand and I'd love to see more inclusivity in this way at pride! ♡♡♡
This is just a vent so feel free to ignore if you'd like, but I hate when I talk about how pre-k through high school traumatized me enough that I will straight up have non-stop panic attacks if I go to irl college full-time (I can only do half irl and half online WITH my service dog present without hitting a trauma wall) and EVERYONE'S first response is "Oh but college is different, it won't be like that" AS IF I SOMEHOW DON'T KNOW??? Like... sorry to tell you but it's not really the people that I'm worried about, it's the entire school environment itself!
Physically being in that environment is the trigger, it's not like I actually think everyone is out to get me despite both teachers AND students having been the entire issue the whole time. (I recognize my experience to be a normal problem of the system itself, so the building is what scares me basically.) It feels so invalidating, and frankly infantilizing, to just have everyone constantly misinterpret what I'm saying to be the worst version of itself all the time when I'm discussing my traumas.
Even today, when briefly mentioning how I'll never be able to see a cafeteria the same way again because we saw one in a movie, my mom then be like "oH bUt It'S dIfFeReNt In CoLlEgE" and then I was like "well... yeah, duh, but that doesn't erase all that I went through, especially the rumors" and my mom, my primary caretaker, who said to me DURING the height of the rumors I'm talking about "oh, well you kinda are acting that way so the rumors are kinda true actually" (which was not true btw), just asked me what the rumors were about. It's like I'm SO insignificant and nobody is listening to me because they don't care. I feel crazy. Nobody truly has listened to me in years other than my new therapist and my boyfriend. Sometimes I just wonder if I should maybe stop off-handedly mentioning these things for that reason, even though it feels good to discuss it and feel heard for once.
People are so bad at understanding that trauma isn't necessarily something you can just push through with a little effort. There are lots of subjects I discuss with very few people because only a few people know how to treat those experiences with the respect they deserve, and if I don't have to put up with invalidating, triggering "advice", I don't want to. Sending love and solidarity your way.
Thanks, sending love and solidarity to you too! Yeah, sometimes the advice is SO bad that it makes the problems worse before I even took said advice because of how dumb it is! I knew it was bad before I even processed it slightly. Imagine giving such a bad, "fake it 'til you make it" toxic positivity take to someone, probably KNOWING it's bad advice, to traumatized people and then expecting a medal for handling their "bad" reaction to it (which is literally just basic rejection of toxic ideology) and then pathologizing my behavior to death and being all "you probably don't even need any advice if you're turning ME down!" It's straight up horrific the way people treat trauma, especially from within the realm of pop culture and regular psychiatry.
The other annoying part of this is that my partner (who is lovely and typically very understanding) often will tell me that he doesn't like it when I get overstimulated or upset with inanimate objects (like food on the stove spitting at me or technology deciding to update while I'm in the middle of something important) (which, btw, is part of how my trauma and AuDHD manifest) because "it's nothing personal/ not that deep" and it's like... am I not supposed to be like "grrr, what the hell was that?" when I'm upset?
Like... I never thought of it as an issue that when I'm upset I show that I'm upset because I don't yell at people, I don't break things, I don't hurt people, and I don't say mean things when I'm angry, unlike the people and schools who traumatized me, I'm literally just like "I hate it here, WHY is it like this???" I just frankly don't understand why showing that I'm upset and questioning why bad things are the way they are and why they're SO damn frustrating is an issue. It makes me feel like I'm crazy!
I'm not a therian but pls reblog or something if youre an adult therian. I need to find more nonhuman blogs, a lot of people on here who identify as animals are children.
I know that Jax is much more likely to be canonically transfemme just considering the speculation I see everywhere and... there's some evidence to it, but as an autistic, nb trans guy who gets attached to characters like him very easily, I'd kinda also love to see him as a cynical trans guy or masc nonbinary person who just... loves to be a bit of a jerk at times because he's used to rejection and doesn't want to let anyone get too close just in case they potentially reject him again for being who he really is, and maybe the femboy maid thing made him dysphoric but he ended up not minding because of what the pink Jax said to him about it since pink Jax seems far less guarded and maybe even closer to who he truly is irl? Idk y'all, is this anything?
Y'all... notice how I mentioned IN MY POST that Jax is very likely canonically transfem? Yeah? Then why are we acting like I'm starting a movement to make Jax transmasc instead? I am SPECIFICALLY talking about how I, as a transmasc autistic person, have attached to and begun projecting onto this character a tiny bit (as I have with MANY others) and therefore would love to see an AU maybe even of transmasc Jax. Piss on the poor reading comprehension site, indeed... It's infantilizing and genuinely insulting that y'all think I somehow don't realize what I'm saying/ doing or am anti transfem representation, I'm NOT. I'm very PRO representation of all kinds, and I will NOT have words put in my mouth or be policed about this.
I'm not doing this to be argumentative btw, I'm just quite literally explaining the premise of the post much more explicitly for those who seem to have misinterpreted what I was saying!
Tender as a rotten log🧚🏽♂️ @thefaelumberjack - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
