Me: I'm not autistic, I don't have a special interest or any traits. It's just the ADHD and hyper fixations!
• Been obsessed with FNAF since I was 7 and when I saw one of my teachers dressed up as Freddy on Halloween I literally couldn't handle the emotions I was feeling so I was jumping up and down, flapping my hands, running, and squealing. It got worse when they started playing FNAF music. Also is putting so much effort into a presentation ONLY because it's about FNAF (we got to choose the topic).
• Has been obsessed with Psychology since I was 11 and has a deep need and urge to "study" people and how they act/interact/are.
• As a child I couldn't eat anything if it was touching, had specific food tastes, eating habits, and everything HAD to be on a separated plate. Now I have to eat one food at a time (can't mix my foods and they can touch A LITTLE).
• Never understood fully what consent was until very recently. No one explained it in detail on what is and isn't consent so I didn't know someone basically guilty tripping me was forced consent which means not consenting.
• I've had three meltdowns that I am aware of.
• Never had many friends and didn't understand how to socialize (still don't) and only feel "Normal" when I'm drunk or high.
• My speech is either too quiet or too loud and I cannot tell the difference.
• According to others I not only waddle when I walk but I also have T-Rex Arms.
• I have the need to be crushed by someone's weight but people touching makes me want to rip my skin off UNLESS it's one of the people that I want touching me all the time.
• Sensory issues include: Bright lights make me wanna break my bones, loud unexpected sounds make me wanna claw my ears off, bad textures make me wanna hurl, crowds are hell, I have a sensitive nose so smells are always making me wanna hide in a hole and rot, if it's too hot I want to die and if it's to cold I will shoot myself.
• I am not super routine based (I am flexible with routine) but if I don't do certain things everyday I will get very angry and stressed.
• No mind and body connection, I cannot recognize pain unless it's really bad. I can't remember to eat unless my body hurts or it's in my routine, same with water.
• Small changes are okay but things like moving or changing of plans last minute makes me suicidal.
• I have comfort clothes and sometimes I cannot wash them because my second pair of safe clothes are not washed yet.
• Literally everyone including my mother thinks I'm on the spectrum.
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