Aight this is a rant post that I’m sure no one will see.
But I am SO SICK of people pretending pansexuality doesn’t exist.
Whether it’s outright hate from gays because I’m not gay enough, or erasure from straights because I can pass. Or even bi people telling me that my sexuality doesn’t even exist and is just another name for their sexuality.
Honestly it feels like the only people that acknowledge my sexuality for what it is are other pansexuals.
I have dated a lesbian and let me tell you she was so phobic. After we broke up I heard her saying “I’ll never date another bi girl again” and like 1- I’m not bi so thanks for that erasure and 2- not my fault she’s so insecure thinking she can’t satisfy me because she didn’t have a dick.
I’ve dated many straight men and most (all but my current boyfriend it seems) have just decided to sweep my pansexuality under the rug and decided to pretend that I’m straight. And if I mention it they either need a whole lesson on the gender spectrum or they ask me to stop talking.
And this isn’t just me either! I’ve asked many pansexuals and they ALL have the same experiences. Sometimes to the point of the opposite sex partner saying “don’t mention it I don’t want to think about it.” 
And we’re a pretty quiet community. Not just the pans, the bi’s too. All this phobia and erasure happening and we just kind of shrug and agree we can’t complain because we have the luxury of passing. We don’t get the shit kicked out of us because if we need to we can “pretend to be straight.” So we put up with it. But let’s be real, everyone of every sexuality kind of hates us and it’s getting exhausting.
I’m so tired of the shit I see online with the hatred. And sure, the world is doing better, but as much as your friends won’t care, your partner sure as hell will. Do you know how many times I didn’t know the person was phobic until I dated them? Pretty much every time. And then because we can “pass” we’re expected to just fucking take it.
And that’s not even touching on the hate the polyamorous pans get. Because they get hate from inside the pan community itself too the poor babies.
For such a big community so predicated on love and where the literal slogan is “love is love” there’s a lot of hatred. I’m so sick of dealing with it, and I needed to vent my frustration somehow.
If you bothered to read this, thank you, you’re a gem.