The Game Detective

[posthumanwanderings]

[thegamedetective]

Okay, fan theory time.  Now keep i mind, most of my Phantasy Star knowledge comes from the original series, not online, but I think a lot of it translates.  I think that the reason Mags became the thing they are, that being little robotic companions, instead of just AI devices like super advanced smart phones is because there’s a serious dearth of domesticated animals in the Phantasy Star Universe.  

There are Musk Cats, which are sentient creatures that may actually be smarter than humans, and there’s one girl in all the universe who has a dog (her name is Tinkerbell, her dog is named Tinkerbell’s Dog), and there’s are farms for Sandworms and Rappys, both of which are full-fledged monsters that will try to kill you and eat you.  It seems reasonable to me to assume that even Tinkerbell’s dog will grow into some terrifying sci-fi monster given enough time.

So someone in the Greater Phantasy Star Universe developed Mags, because people needed companionship.  This fits in with a common theme of the series, which is humans (and it’s usually humans, or Palmans) using technology to fill in gaps that they feel were left by mother nature, with things such as the Climatrol system.

And since all of these things inevitably turn disastrous, what do you think would happen with Mags eventually?

[thegamedetective]

You know what would be cool?  A video game starring Princess Peach.  Wait, wait, I know, we’ve already got Super Princess Peach, but that game’s story focused a lot more on her parasol than it did on her and, more importantly, I don’t think the game starring Peach should be an action platformer.  Why?  Because that’s not Peach’s main skill set.

Look, here’s the thing, Princess Peach isn’t, and shouldn’t be, as much of a goomba stomping, koopa kicking, Bowser bashing badass as Mario.  If she were, then there would be no point to Mario even existing and there would be no good reason for her having been kidnapped, ever.

I want a game that stars Princess Peach doing what she does best: ruling the Mushroom Kingdom.  Make it a Total War style grand strategy game, or even a Zeus/Sim City style kingdom builder.  Have her be the star of a game where she’s managing her kingdoms economy and military, dealing with threats both internal and external.  Mario, Luigi, and other characters could make appearances as unique units that you could command or send on missions.  You could use Peach’s magic, which is supposed to be quite impressive, to solve large scale problems or to mitigate natural disasters.

This would be awesome for a few reasons.  First off, it would be awesome to see Princess Peach actually being the leader we normally have to just guess that she is.  Second, it would be a cool new way to explore the whole Mario world/universe with a different genre.  And finally, it would allow me to make an army of Toad soldiers march on the Koopa Kingdom, while Mario smashes their walls to rubble and Luigi assassinates their general, putting the entire Koopa population to the sword.  Razing their villages and burning their fields, salting the earth so that nothing could ever grow again.

Or, you know, negotiate a peace... whatever.

[althenaslight]

Novel Lunar 1 Ladies|| Luna, Mia, and Jessica.

[thegamedetective]

Kickstarter Spotlight: Blueshift

I am a huge fan of 4x strategy games and it is exceptionally rare to see this genre represented well in board games. Sure, there are a lot of good strategy games out there, Catan comes to mind mos…

A last minute boost for the kickstarter boardgame BLUESHIFT by Nebulous Games.  If you’re a fan of 4x Strategy, it’s worth giving a look.

[library-mermaid-blog]

Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.

[thegamedetective]

Two strangers at Magic City Con told me about this show called “Star vs. the Forces of Evil” and I think I’m enjoying it way more than I should.

[thegamedetective]

This is Vegeta, the “Prince of all Saiyans.” However, when Vegeta’s father died, that should have made him king, right? I have seen, and been fascinated by, the theory that Vegeta calls himself the prince because he cannot cope with his father’s death.  The problem with that is that Vegeta, especially young Vegeta, has never been shown to be particularly sentimental.  I think that it’s something that, for Vegeta, may be a more bitter still. Vegeta calls himself the prince because he was born the son of a king. His royal heritage can never be taken from him, but he can never be a king himself.  Why?  Because there is no throne, no kingdom, and no subjects for him to rule over.  He knows that he cannot be a king without authority.  This likely plays into his rivalry with Goku, because if he is not the strongest Saiyan then he has no real claim to be the leader and wield authority over the other Saiyans (All five or so of them).  If he cannot beat Goku then he could never call himself king, even if he found a kingdom to rule. So... that’s my theory.

[thegamedetective]

You know something? I’m really glad I had a SEGA CD.  It gets a lot of flak for being a cheap marketing gimmick and yes, looking back as an adult a lot of the games for it sucked, but it was an experience that not every gamer my age got to have as a child.  The full motion animation in its games, especially the RPGs like Lunar and Dark Wizard were pretty much unseen and unheard of at the time and even games like Night Trap and Double Switch and even Sewer Shark were REALLY cool in the mind of a six year old. I’m not going to pretend that it was somehow the superior console of its era. because it wasn’t, but when it was released it did something that no other console was doing at the time and I’m REALLY glad I got to own one when I did.

[acid-eater]

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

vicious mockery is my favorite spell in dungeons and dragons because like

A) it does decent damage

B) it’s a cantrip

so canonically, a talented musician can murder commonfolk by hurling a single insult at them (average damage at 17+ level is 10, max 16.). imagine a chaotic evil bard who becomes a serial killer and the local guards are afraid to pursue him because you might go up and say “you’re under arrest” but then he just retorts ‘your mom is under arrest” and you fucking die on the spot

that same musician, if he can manage to successfully insult the world’s most fearsome ancient dragon 55 times without dying first… it dies. a process which would still take only about 11 minutes (assuming the bard has a spell DC of 19, meaning the dragon would fail about 50% of the saves.)

[andisupreme]

A Bard could kill a dragon over the course of a single Roast session.

[thegamedetective]

Film Idea

In a world where kids sports movies all happen (Angels in the Outfield, Rookie of the Year, the replacements etc.) happen regularly and are accepted for a sport, let’s say football because honestly not even movie magic can make Baseball interesting to watch. Alright, so suddenly the league is overcome with magic footballs, sports-playing dogs, underhanded tricks that the ref doesn’t notice, divine intervention, actual monsters, you know, weird kids sport movie stuff.  The team that once dominated the league just by being the best players has had its stock dropped to zero. Enter our protagonist, a once legendary coach from that team who is somewhat embittered by the current state of the game.  He recruits a team of highly skilled, expert players with one goal: he is going to win the Superbowl with a team of normal players just by being that damn good.   You’ll see hard work, training and dedication overcome mad science gadgets, children who made wishes to be football stars at carnival machines, and even divine intervention. Admit it, even if you don’t sport, you would go see this movie.

[thegamedetective]

Starting a D&D Game

Players: We should play in a super dark, gritty world like Game of Thones or Warhammer. Me, the DM: Sure, I can do that I guess. One of those Players: Alright, I want my character to be a goblin who’s a retired stripper.

[thegamedetective]

When Metagaming Goes Wrong

One of my D&D players has a bad habit of metagaming and using his own knowledge of source material in ways that his character should clearly not be able to.  I never really go out of my way to punish him for it, but I also have made it clear over the course of all of my games that monsters and their abilities are not always exactly what you will find in the Monster Manual or Bestiary. So the party recently came up against a dragon, in a sort of roundabout way.  Adult dragons in my world are basically just a step below gods, terrestrial beings whose power is still beyond those of any other terrestrial beings, so they’re not there to fight the dragon, they just want some important piece of information that’s in his lair (it ties back to our barbarian’s backstory). So while they’re in the dragon’s lair, which is a giant two mile in diameter labyrinth, the warlock (played by the metagamer) ends up isolated from the rest of the party.  The dragon wants to make a deal.  He says that he will allow the party to proceed through his labyrinth, with no consequence or opposition, and get to their objective, if he will do just one favor for the dragon.  That favor?  Destroy an object (a dragon egg) that is exceptionally important to an NPC (the NPC had betrayed the dragon earlier specifically to protect this egg). So, for backstory, here is what the players and their characters know about Dragons (and this specific dragon) in my setting. *Dragons are extremely powerful. *Dragons often have abilities that are derived from their concept and personality, while they have mechanics, are not found in the rulebook. *This dragon is a tyrant, who binds living creatures into its service. *This dragon uses bloodletting to bind people into service (i.e. spill your blood to seal the pact) *The dragon has bound bigger creatures than any of them into its service. So, the dragon offered this deal to the warlock.  The warlock says he wants to bluff.  He says yes.  The dragon clarifies that the warlock agrees to his terms, emphasizing that he is not threatening him and will not kill him for refusing.  The warlock says yes.  He rolls bluff, but as soon as he has agreed to his terms the dragon cuts his cheek and says “The pact is sealed.” The warlock’s player asked if it was a “Geas” spell, which forces its subject to perform a specific task. I say that I have not looked at the Geas spell, because the effect is not a Geas. The warlock asks if he can counterspell it.  I tell him he can try.  He says the DC to counterspell a Geas should be 15.  I tell him to roll it.  He gets like, a nine.  It doesn’t matter, because it’s not a Geas, it’s a special ability.  It cannot be counterspelled by either of the subjects because it only binds a deal that both characters agree to and, bluff or no, he agreed to the terms. But he goes forward acting like it’s a Geas and behaving as though it’s a Geas.  He tells the other players that his character cannot tell them what’s wrong.  I tell him that nothing is stopping him.  He says “It’s part of the text for Geas.”  I say “Oh, okay.”  It doesn’t matter, because it’s not a Geas, but I have now decided that there is a lot of value in letting him believe that there is. The time comes for the warlock to deliver on his oath and he balks.  He lets the other players stop him.  He decides that he will just take the 5d10 damage that comes with violating a Geas spell and assumes that it will go away when he can no longer complete the quest (when the dragon egg hatches).  I decide he will go ahead and take the damage, and then chooses to knock himself out instead of fulfilling his end of the deal.  That was where our last session ended. He has made all of these choices without ever asking to make an arcane roll or any other check to actually determine what effect he was under.  He never asked what the consequences of breaking the deal would be.  So, I have mechanics drawn out for what will happen, but since I have until Saturday to change things, I’m open to suggestions. Extra Details: *The dragon is lawful evil. *Even though a dragon’s color isn’t as super important in my game, this dragon’s personality and powers are pretty close in line with the Green Dragon entry in the Monster Manual. *If you want to know what is in store for them as I have it planned, watch the meteor segment from Stephen King’s Creepshow.

[thegamedetective]

Me Writing About Video Games: Alright, I need to make sure my word choice is perfect and my ideas are engaging and interesting. Me Writing for School: I can probably just retread the material I’m referencing, and then repeat it again after saying “What this means is...”

[thegamedetective]

So I’m thinking about adding some short pieces of fiction to my blog in addition to my game talk and mechanics and such.  It would be like, one page snapshots of fantasy stories and such.

[constanzeofficial]

so if generic wizards use wands and staffs to cast spells I’m gonna bring up the idea of modern era magicians using what they can find with a wooden body, like teens picking up baseball bats and 2x4s imagine just running out of mana or whatever and instead of slinking back you just crack your rune laden bat over a particularly punkish goblin

[nobby-art]

yall mind if i

[niantology]

I love this!

[pathfuckery]

Fuckin’ righteous

[thegamedetective]

So the tv show of the Dresden Files (which was an okay show like, in a vaccuum, but a terrible adaptation of the books) did something like this.  His staff was a hockey stick and his blasting wand was a drum stick.

[thegamedetective]

Why is every video game a franchise now?  Like, what if I want to play a video game but didn’t get into the series eight years ago because I was poor eight years ago?  I don’t want to have to go back and play three more games that have aged with varying degrees of quality every time a new game catches my interest. I get that IPs are valuable, but sometimes I wish every game developer took the Final Fantasy approach.