Peace of the Godswood

A place of peace and rest and safety for fans of A Game of Thrones and A Song of Fire and Ice to voice their struggles and ask for the support and advice of their favourite characters.

[thegodswood]

Hey, Daenerys, or Sansa. How would deal with depression? x o x o Maria

I’m terribly sorry, this was sent a long time ago but hadn’t seen it in the inbox under messages for other blogs! Do you still need help/someone to talk to Maria? x

[thegodswood]

Hello, Tyrion! This is Becca again. I just wanted to thank you for your kind, encouraging words and suggestions. I took a last-minute trip out to visit my family. It was exactly what I needed, and I now have a full week of sobriety that I’m hoping will motivate me to stay away from drinking when I go back home. As an added bonus— I have a job interview in a couple of weeks! So things are looking up, and I’m feeling better. Thank you again! I really appreciate your help!

Dear Becca, 

How good to hear from you again. I’m so glad I could help before and want you to know how proud of you I am. How is everything going if you don’t mind me asking of course? How did the job interview go? I’m relieved to hear things are looking up, just remember if you have a bad day, that's okay too. Be kind to yourself and remember those baby steps. If you need to talk again, I’m here.

Love your friend, Tyrion. 

[thegodswood]

With the final season of Game of Thrones upon us, I wanted to make this post as a signal boost to fans old/new that we are open if you need help or just to talk to someone.

If anyone would like to help out with the running of the blog please let me know! 

Also as a reminder that as much as we try to be here when we can and help out where possible, we cannot be here 24/07 and we are not professionals. This blog is run to offer help and support for those who need it or just need to vent to us or their favourite characters. It is a safe space, but it is by no means a replacement for professional help (such as doctors, councillors, therapists or talking to family/trusted individuals). 

[thegodswood]

Hello. I’m struggling a bit and would love some words of encouragement from anyone. I moved across the country with my fiance in the Fall (away from all friends/family), have become depressed, and have been drinking rather heavily almost every day as a result. I’m seeing a therapist and have finally opened up to my fiance and our families about what I’m going through, but there are still some rough days. Any advice on what to do when my cravings for a drink become bad? Thank you so much! -Becca

Dearest Becca, 

Tyrion here, I must apologise for my tardiness in responding to this message, but I hope my reply finds you well and that my words can offer you some strength. 

Firstly, I must say how proud of you I am for the fact that you have opened up to your fiancé, family and that you have sought help from a therapist. Admitting that there is an issue and that you’re not doing so good, is half the battle! The key is not to give in and to keep going until you win (which I am certain you will be able to do!) 

I myself have experience of traveling both far from home and from family/friends and so can empathise with you in regards to how unnerving it can be. Just remember that those you love are still there, you still sleep under the same stars and they can be reached whenever you need them. 

I too have been in that dark place where alcohol seems like the easiest solution and I understand, for a moment, it feels like it is, but in the long run it doesn’t help. I know I don’t have to tell you this as you seem like a bright girl! But I want you to know that you’re not alone. In those moments of weakness think on all the good things you have to come and all the good days that have been. Remember that if you have a bad day - accidents do happen - it doesn’t mean the rest of the week, month and so on are ruined. With every new day comes a chance to prove ourselves and make ourselves proud. Remember that you are doing this for you, first and fore mostly and that you are worth it. 

Are there other things you love that would serve as a good distraction from alcohol? Perhaps a favourite book (that always helps clear my mind) a long walk surrounding yourself with nature, baking something or trying to draw what you’re feeling. If you’re unable to give up the thought of a drink completely during those dark times, try to at least cut back and make sure you’re not drinking alone so that the darker thought don’t creep in. Or perhaps try making mocktails with friends. 

I am always here too and promise to be more attentive! Once again, you are not alone.

I am so proud of you and am sure your fiancé and family are too, you’re doing great. Sometimes the tunnel is long and you have to get through the darkest parts to find the light, but I promise, they are there.

Love your friend, Tyrion. 

[thegodswood]

(Jay 1/2) can go to anyone who has siblings, maybe Theon or Tyrion. I am a twin. I grew up always falling short of my twin when it came to stuff like grades. When we shared the same classes, people always compared our work to each other's. We both did really well (she was Salutatorian and I was in the top 25), but I always did worse than she did. We go to college on the opposite side of the country as each other, but I still have trouble believing I'm smart enough (B average) since...

(Jay 2/2) everyone of my generation who’s going to college/went to college (cousins included) went for science, medicine, or law and I’m sitting her as the only kid getting a liberal arts degree. How do you deal with getting compared to and comparing yourself to your siblings? Does it ever get easier? Thank you, Jay

Well hello there Jay, Tyrion here! 

Can I tell you something? Indulge some wisdom to you… Acceptance my friend is the key, or at least one of them. I constantly compared myself to Jaime and Cersei, but this did nothing for my happiness or state of mind. Jaime is an excellent swordsman, Cersei is beauty, strong in ways that I am not… But I realise we all have talents that belong to us alone and make us who we are.

Why would I want to be remembered in the exact same way as my siblings after I die? When I can be remembered as one who was good with story telling, who had wit (and might I add, Charm) on his side, who was wise enough to know when to keep his mouth shut and who priced knowledge and cunning above brute force?

By your grades you sound very intelligent to me! Whilst your sibling and others may be praised for their academics in law and sciences, the world also needs art and literature and music (though I know I am not the greatest fan of singers…). This is what makes the world what it is, a beautiful, exciting, complex place. It would be no good to all study the same thing now would it? Who would entertain us on long winters nights? Who would tell the stories of those who had gone before and help to shape culture? 

I know it can be tough and at times isolating, but focusing on the things I know I am good at, that others like about me… Feeling content, accepting what is and what I can do nothing about whilst trying to change the things I can. That is how I cope.

I hope these words have been of some comfort to you and help you to realise what a wonderful soul you are!

Now if you ever wish to discuss your studies, please do come back!

Take care, 

Your loyal friend, Tyrion Lannister. 

[thegodswood]

Hi, my name is Tess. I am huge fan of Ramsay, is it possible that he answers me? I turned 20 last week and I feel like I am having a midlife crisis or something. I always had depressions but yet since my birthday it is like I am having the feeling that I missed out on my life. I am still a virgin, I never had any good relationship and I start to gain weight again. I never went to partys and I feel super down because of that and I don't know what to do?

Helo Tess! Ramsay here!

Well, well, well….let me think how I can try to help you! If only you were here in Westerns with me, I am sure I could bring you to one or two merry parties in which you would soon feel better! 

Sadly, as I cannot, let me see what I can suggest. As you know I am a fan of many indulgences, some, I admit may be distractions… but that is enough of me. 

Remember, at 20 you still have so much left of your life! There are many who do not know what to do with their lives at even 40! And those who change path, life is for living, exploring, trying new things. But it’s also okay to doubt, to wonder and to have days where you just want to be with yourself.

Loosing your virginity is not the most important thing in the world, I know it might feel like that, but it doesn’t make you any less important than anyone else, or any less human. It will happen when the time is right, please do not feel you have to force it with someone you do not care for (I know this might be a bit rich coming from me) but it is very important that you are comfortable and happy. 

When I want something, I make a note of it. Perhaps try this, write a list of the most important things you want to achieve in your life, don’t be too hard on yourself for deadlines. Priority those things and ask yourself what can you do to achieve them? Even if it’s just a small step, the road is long but there is an end to all things.

Regarding weight gain, is there anything small you can do in your daily life to help? Such as swapping items for others, drinking more water or taking a little more exercise, perhaps something fun like playing chase in the woods! Horse riding, taking a dog for a walk (if you don’t own a dog, perhaps dog walking for some extra money?) 

If you’d like any more suggestions or help or just want to let me know how you’re getting on, please do write in again.

Your friend,

Ramsay Snow

[thegodswood]

Hi. This is Khala for Daenerys if she is available. I really need some help and stumbled on this place and it seems perfect. I have no one to talk to and really really need some support. I am really struggling with depression and anxiety right now, but the worst is my PTSD. I'm self harming and can't stop and I don't want to be here anymore. please can you offer any advice?

Hello Khala,

Daenerys here, I trust that this will still reach you okay despite my tardiness, I hope you can forgive me, there has been much change of late and it has stopped me from receiving these messages.

Firstly, I want you to know that you are always safe here and you can come and talk to me whenever you need to. I promise I will be more aware from now on and looking out for messages beyond the seas. 

I appreciate you have stated you have no one to talk to, but is there any support line you could speak to or write to? A doctor or mentor? As much as I can listen and offer support, there is only so much I can do.

I know you must be afraid and feel alone, but know that if you do speak to someone and seek help, that I am there with you in spirit and my dragons too! Imagine us by your side, I can hold your hand any time you need me. 

There have been many moments, especially earlier in my life when it would have been so easy to give up hope, as I could not see the end of the darkness. But then I remember the words, “If I look back I am lost.” It can be so hard to stay strong and move on, when there is so much pulling us back and holding us down. But please try to repeat those words, take baby steps and take each day as it comes.

Look after yourself with plenty of water, fresh air and sleep, do things that make you happy, whether reading a favourite book, drawing or just going for a walk I find can be a great escape.

I am worried for you my darling, especially to hear that you are harming yourself. Next time you think of this, please try to take some deep breaths and focus the energy elsewhere if you can, I know it’s hard but it will get better. Drawing on skin can help or some exercise, if only I could give you one of my dragons to escape on for a little while I would!

I hope my words have been of some comfort, please do come back to me and let me know how you are and if there’s anything I can do to help.

Your friend,

Daenerys Targaryen 

[thegodswood]

Is this account still active? I'm seeking help but will find somewhere else if needed. ~Khala

Hi Khala, 

Yes we are still active, we just haven’t had any questions in quite some time! We are always here if you need us. 

- admin Emma 

[thegodswood]

Hi, My name is Tessa and I've been going through some hardships lately. Earlier this year I had a friend that was almost my twin. We were so close and it was working out great, until I made a mistake and even though I apologized and did everything I could she still doesn't forgive me for it. She believes that I would willingly spread rumors about her and now I have almost no friends because they side with her. She and I have to work together and I'm worried things will become worse. Thank you.

Hi Teesa,

Brienne here and at your service, I hope you don’t mind if I reply. I wanted to comfort you as soon as possible and offer words that will help get you through this tough period.

Friendships can be fickle, throughout your life people will come and go. There will be some that stay forever and others that will fade and you will be left with the happy memories. There will be those you thought you’d be friends with forever who will become strangers and strangers who will become friends.

I said all this first to put the situation into context and to give you hope, but if it’s a friendship you truly cherish and feel it can be saved I have a few suggestions.

Try giving them space, a week, or even a few, they may come back to you and apologise and make amends. I understand that you work together, so ignore them unless on a professional level. Be polite, but don't try to force it, hopefully they will cool down! There may be other things going on in their life that they can’t talk about or that create a divide. Please don’t be so hard on yourself, people’s minds work in strange ways.

After a few weeks if you hear nothing you could try writing a letter to them, include a place and time to meet. If they don’t show then no matter how hard it is, try to accept it and slowly start to heal.

In the meantime try spending time with other friends and family as well as enjoying and appreciating time on your own. I appreciate you said you hardly have friends now due to the rumours, but those you do have, spend time with, and those who believed the rumours, try to build bridges with them. Rumour mills and rumours of people telling rumours often die down quickly! Hopefully in a few weeks a new rumour will have taken place or something exciting will happen and it will be forgotten. Whilst it’s hard not to worry, there is nothing you can, you’ve tried your best and that’s all you can do.

I hope it goes well for you and that you start to feel better soon, just know that I’m always here for you and you have a friend in me.

Yours loyally, Brienne of tarth.

[thegodswood]

Hi there, my name is Holly and I'm pretty sure I have an eating disorder. I've had body image problems for years, as I've always been fairly large, but in the past year it's turned into something worse. Whenever I eat I feel guilty and I want to (1)

Make myself throw up, and sometimes I’ll starve myself all day despite feeling hungry. I’ve only purged myself twice, and both times I felt horrible after, but part of me want to do it because even tho I’d be ill, I would be skinnier. I just don’t(2)Know how to deal with it, and I’m worried that this will stay with me my entire life. I just want to be happy in my own skin, but sometimes it seems impossible. I have no idea how to cope with this, and I was wondering if you had any advice? (3)

My dear Holly,

Firstly I must apologise for my tardiness in replying, it is unlike me! But unfortunately circumstances have been out of my control and I’ve found myself, how do they say, biting off more than I can chew. But I am here for you now and hope this finds you well.

It saddens me to hear that you’re going through this, but I need you to know that you’re not alone and that though the road may seem long, you will get there. It is important to take each day as it comes, there will be good days and bad days. But the bad days can never outshine the good.

I want to let you know how brave I know you are, in just coming here to talk about this and bringing it up early before it develops into a long term problem, this is the first sign that you have a pretty healthy mind set and are aware of the damage this can have in the long run.

I think talking to a doctor or perhaps a Nutritionalist would help? A counsellor or psychiatrist could help perhaps get to the route of your body confidence issues and find ways to slowly tackle those emotions. Being a dwarf I spent many years being teased and hating the way I look, but soon I came to realise that much of my strength could come from this. I am who I am and there is no one else like me. Writing a list of the things you do like about yourself, both in terms of physically and personality/characteristics and then keeping this list on you for when you feel down may help.

Starving yourself/purging may feel like a good idea at the time, but denying your body of food and nutrition does more harm than good in the long run, not to sound patronising as I’m sure you know this. Your body is a mechanism that needs fuel to run and without it it will go into starvation mode and store fat. Depriving yourself of things you love to eat/drink, going out with friends etc may leave you feeling isolated and led to other problems such as depression. I would hate for you to find yourself in this situation dearest Holly.

And so instead I suggest you take it one day at a time but built some type of action plan. If weight is really bothering you then look into a new sport/activity such as dance, horse riding etc you’re interested in, or something free like running/hiking etc. It could be something you do weekly with friends. Try to take a walk each day and explore places, this will also help to clear your mind and you may find you build up an appetite.

You could look up new recipes and try cooking meals that boost weight loss and fill you up without depriving you of important food groups. Eating lots of protein, vegetables that are low in sugar and fruits like melon and berries are also great for weight loss. Oh and water! Lots and lots of water, I know I’m rather partial to the wine, but this reminds me, I should drink more water.

But foremost I want you to remember you are beautiful as you are. If losing weight will make you happy/more comfortable or if it’s for health reasons then by all means Pursue it, remembering slow and steady wins the race - it’s ok to have days off and treat yourself. But if it’s just to please others, then remember, you owe no one, you are a wonderful person just as you are. Only you know your reasons and what is best for you.

Goodluck! Please do come back to me and let me know how you’re getting on. If you need any further advice or just someone to talk to, then I’m always here for you.

Yours, Tyrion Lannister.

[thegodswood]

Hi, Holly here, just wondering if you got my messages? (Not to rush you, just that Tumblr mobile has a bad habit of eating my asks)

Hi Holly,I'm so sorry, we do indeed have your asks, I've been away over the past few days but will get to answering you tomorrow. I was going to answer over the weekend but hate rushing as I like to dedicate attention to asks. Was there anyone in particular you'd like to answer?Thanks! Admin, Emma

[thegodswood]

So with season 6 underway I wanted to post on here as a reminder to current followers and to reach out to new followers. We're still here, still listening if any game of thrones fans need someone to talk/vent to and would like to talk to their favourite character. We're a help blog that has been around for a while now but been pretty quiet since season 5 (I probably don't signal boost enough)

[thegodswood]

Anyone, I'm a 23 year old college student my mother doesn't approve of anything I do. I feel trapped and she doesn't like that I'm getting my Bachelors, she's never proud of my academic accomplishments and said she'd never read a book I'd write if it wasn't like her precious 50 shades novels. I want a better relationship with her I think. She thinks I'm a prude because I'm in a two year relationship (it's long distance now) and she wants me to party not my thing.

Good evening friend,

Apologies for the amount of time it has taken for me to getback to you, I have been on watch alone for some time. Jon Snow here and hopingI can help!

It’s understandable that you want a better relationship withyour mother and that you want her to be proud of you, but please remember hervalidation isn’t the most important thing. In fact far from it. If you aredoing what you believe you are destined to do and what makes you happy, thenshe should be happy for you and that is the end of it. Of course life is neverthat simple and I know family can be difficult, especially when it comes toseeking approval for your life choices. But that, right there is the point, itis your life. She had her chance and moments to make her own decisions and dowhat made her happy and if that was going out and partying then that was fine,for her. Doesn’t mean it is right for you and she needs to realise that.

Perhaps it will help if you get some praise and reassurancefrom friends, peers and other family members? It’s a small step and reallyshouldn’t be down to anyone else, but if it’s what you need to hear right nowperhaps discuss this with others.

Just because you’re in a long distance relationship it doesn’tmake you a prude, again it’s your life and if you’re happy with that personthen that is a great thing you have. Please don’t let your mothers opinion’ssour or taint something good that you have or kill those passions you hold dear(whether academic or romantic).

Maybe you and your mother need a little break from oneanother (I appreciate this may not be possible) or just distance yourselves,even if just for a week. Then at the end spend some time together, just the twoof you and go on a day out and open up completely to her. I know it’s hard tobe honest sometimes and you may be worried about her reaction, but the sooneryou tell her this the sooner the two of you can work things out.

Please feel free to come back and let me know how it goes! I’malways here if you need to talk.

Your loyal friend, Jon Snow.

[thegodswood]

Hi Sansa, it's the anon from before. I think it's EDNOS that I have (I purge a lot and restrict until I binge, but my weight is "normal"ish). I don't have any friends and I'm too scared to tell my family, my mum will just get mad at me. She has enough of her own stuff to worry about, I don't want to be more of a burden. I'll try to make appointments with my doctor and dentist and see if the doctor will help me. Thank you

Dear anon, its good to hear from you again and I am so pleased to hear that you will try to book an appointment with a doctor and the dentist. I understand that it is difficult and scary for you so if you need to talk I am always here to listen. Honestly my dear this is the best thing for you in the long run, it seems unfair and morally wrong specialists won't help till your weight is at a certain place. Perhaps keep a diary to take with you and show how it's effecting you day to day. As for your mother, I understand your concerns and that you don't want to worry her, but I know if you were my daughter id want to know so I could help. If not are there any support groups that could help you and where you could make friends? Good luck my dear and please be brave and remember bad days are okay too. Please come back and let m know how it goes.Love Sana

[thegodswood]

I don't know if anyone is still there but I need some help. I have an ED (I'm trying to get help but specialists won't take me until I have a very low BMI & I'm failing at that so...), recently it's been really bad. Last night half of my back tooth came off. It's more than I can take, now I'm physically hideous to match how awful a person I am. I'm too scared to see the dentist, I'm scared I'll have dentures before 30. I just want to let it kill me now. I'm not even sick enough to deserve help

My dear anon,

Sansa here and ofcourse we are all always still here in case anyone needs us, not goinganywhere.

I’m sorry to hear you’regoing through this, I know how difficult ED’s can be but I need you to knowthat it will be okay, that you’re stronger than you think and you’re not alonein this. I know it can be scary, and that’s completely understandable givenwhat you’ve just described and especially with a lack of help but trust me youcan get through this.

This worries megreatly that specialists won’t help you until you reach a certain BMI, thatdoesn’t seem helpful at all. Is there nothing your doctor can do, if youexplain to them that you really need help especially with how you’re feelingand with your tooth? Surely to goodness they can do something otherwise what they’resaying is you have to weigh less before they’ll help and that really isn’thelpful. Have you spoken to friends and family about this? I think right nowyou need a strong support network around you, I know it can be hard to open upand tell people about issues this personal and difficult to discuss. But havingsomeone to watch out and try to help you through this could be beneficial.

I’m sure you’re not anawful person and not hideous at all, I can’t begin to imagine how this must beeffecting your confidence but there is a way out of this, there is a light, itis never too late.

It may help if I knowwhat ED you have as I don’t want to assume anything, but I understand if you donot wish to disclose such information.

Of course you deservehelp, it sickens me that specialists won’t see you, really I am so mad rightnow! Everyone deserves help! I know I’ve already said this but I really thinkif you can you should book an appointment with your doctor and tell them whatyou’ve told me, once they know how serious this is, how it’s making you feeland now part of your tooth has fallen off I really think that they might listenor make an exception if they can. Can you take someone with you who can speakwith more assertiveness if you’re not feeling up to it?

The important thing isto look after yourself, make sure you drink lots of water and try no matter howhard it is to have a little bit of something to eat that’s full of nutrientslike a bit of fruit, veg, a few nuts, honey etc.

I know you said you’retoo scared to see a dentist but you seem smart, and I’m sure you’re smartenough to know that eventually you’ll have to see one. Whilst you may be afraidnow, it won’t be half as bad if you do it earlier on rather than waiting a yearor two, trust me. And they may be able to offer you some other tips and help toprotect your other teeth. Counselling may also help you get the bottom of whyyou have an ED and find ways to come to terms with it, make peace with yourselfand work through it.

I know it’s a longroad and these things are never easy but please just stay strong my friend, I’malways here.

Love your friend,Sansa.

Admin Emma – Hey anon,I have a lot of experience dealing with ED’s (both myself and mother) so ifever you need help more personally you’re always welcome to talk to me on mypersonal blog.

[thegodswood]

Hi, I'm Jaybird. I've just started new school and in my class there's this guy I like. We don't talk much and he's almost always with his friend or another person. How do I talk to him? Help, please.

Good evening Jaybird,

Brienne of Tarth at your service, I hope I can offer somehelp.  If this man is never alone andoften with his friend perhaps you’ll have to approach both of them, in someways this may be less awkward. Could you perhaps approach him with a group ofyour own friends, or even just a few friends and just casually start talking orsee if you all want to go for a drink together? That way you won’t be alone butwill have a chance to get to know him.

Could you speak to some of his friends and find out what hisinterests are to see if you have things in common such as a club or society youcould both join? If you’re new to the school then I don’t think there’s anyharm in just talking to people and introducing yourself.

Or better could you have a small party or get together atyour house and invite people from your new class as a way of getting to knowhim.

Is there anything in particular that he wears or has on hisperson that you recognise and could strike up a conversation about. Whether it’sa book he’s carrying, a band t-shirt, sports team top or something like that.It would be a very easy way to start a quick conversation, or if you were toonervous for that you could even just pay a quick compliment about one of themin passing and then it may encourage him to speak to you about it.

Lastly if he does something in class, like a presentation oranswering a question in a particular intelligent or witty way you could alwayssay a few simple words or turn and smile.

These things can be difficult but honestly if you reallylike him, you’ll feel so much better once speaking to him and trying toestablish whether there’s a connection. Gods know I wish I’d done the same withRenly, not that it would have mattered! But it is better to know.

Good luck my friend and let me know if you need any morehelp

Yours, Brienne of Tarth.

[thegodswood]

Hey, I'm Sunny. I'm thinking about getting a GoT inspired tattoo (I was thinking about a wolf, or maybe the words of house Baratheon or house Martell) on the back of my neck (a little bit lower actually) cause I heard it's low on the pain scale (it'll be my first). Any of you guys have tattoos? If you do, can you describe the pain you felt in that specific spot?

Hi Sunny!I hope you don't mind me, admin Emma answering instead of as a character? (If you want a character reply please let me know) as I have numerous tattoos and am going for another soon. Those all sound like lovely ideas for a tattoo. Personally I don't have one on the back of my lower neck but I have a friend who does. I know the neck itself can be somewhat painful, but below that does indeed come down on the pain scale. I don't really find that tattoos hurt, infant I find them quite relaxing. Usually the fleshier the area the less painful (upper arms, thigh etc) but even in other places it's more of a burning/annoying scratching feeling rather than being painful. Just make sure you've had something to eat, water to drink before and a snack on you for during. And follow all the after care advice provided :) I hope this has helped! Enjoy the experience and I hope you love your new tattoo.Love admin Emma