Hello Tumblr!

Torture me... I dare you! also I do incorrect quotes when one pops into my head

[thegreatblacksby]

Tails: Has anyone seen my contacts?

Cream: Tails, you have contacts?

Tails: Yeah, saves me from putting these on.

*holy choir singing can be heard as Tails holds out a pair of glasses*

Cream: Holy sweet mother of a sploosh-

Tails, about to put them on: Well, it's better than being blind...

Cream: TAILS DON'T DO IT!

Tails, lowering the glasses: Huh?

Rouge, coming out of hiding: God damn it, you know how hard it is to steal someone's contacts?!

Tails: What is happening?

Cream: Miss Rouge, are you trying to kill us?

Rouge: He's got slutty little glasses, Cream. I wanna see him in the slutty little glasses!

Tails: But they're prescription...

Cream: There are some things mortal eyes aren't meant to see!

Rouge, pinning Cream to the ground: Put them on Tails, I'll restrain her!

Cream: Don't do it, Tails! You don't know the powers you'll unleash!

Rouge: Surrender to the slutty little glasses!

Cream: TOAST CAN'T BE BREAD AGAIN, MISS ROUGE!

Rouge: MAMA DON'T WANT BREAD! MAMA NEVER WANTED BREAD!

Tails: I fear I've lost the thread, what's the right thing to do?

Rouge: Put them on please.

Cream: Put them- Oh darn it.

Tails, putting the glasses on: Well, I'm a people pleaser.

Cream: AAAAHHHH!

Tails: What, what is it?!

Rouge, in tears: IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

Cream: MY EYES! MY EYES!

Tails: I don't understand! Don't look! DON'T LOOK!

Vector, checking in: Hey guys, what's going ooAAAAAA-

Tails: VECTOR GET AWAY!

Vector: YOUR FACE! YOUR GENTLE FREAKING FACE IT'S FLAWLESS!

Rouge: TOUCH MY FACE WITH YOUR HANDS, TAILS!

Cream, choking Rouge out: HE'S MINE, I CLAIM HIM!

Rouge: ACK-

Vector: TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, OH BEAUTIFUL DEMIGOD!

Tails: NOBODY LOOK AT ME- Here! I'll look up at the sky; at that plane!

*the plane crashes with a loud boom after Tails looks at it*

Tails, taking the glasses off: Okay, I draw the line at terrorism...

Rouge, visibly crying: Nooo, you were perfect!

Tails: I'm sorry, but I can't hurt anybody else. This is my new cross to bear! I will suffer from this astigmatism with PRIDE! Now, if you excuse me, it's a little chilly, I have to put on my turtleneck.

Cream: *gasps in sploosh*

Tails: WILL YOU LET ME LIVE MY LIFE?!

[thegreatblacksby]

I feel like if they were in the same universe, the Addams Family would adopt Ashley from WarioWare.

[thegreatblacksby]

Sig: Which one of you was gonna tell me tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

Raffina, spitting out her tea: y-you were putting it in cold water?

Klug: Sig? Answer the question, Sig!

Sig: Yeah? I thought for like, 5 years people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason. Also, I'm not patient enough to boil water.

Klug: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes?

Raffina: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Klug: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Raffina: It takes less than a minute!

Klug: IS YOUR STOVE POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?!

Raffina: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Klug: Like seven minutes!

Raffina: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes! Less than that if you use a saucepan!

Klug, crying: You're putting the whole mug on the stove? On medium heat?! Your stove is enchanted...

Amitie: Every single one of my friends is a lunatic.

Feli: DO NONE OF YOU OWN A FUCKING KETTLE?!

[thegreatblacksby]

Namimé: Not every problem can be solved with a Keyblade, Roxas.

Roxas: I know. That's why I carry TWO Keyblades!

Naminé: nO-

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One of the solars in the group I'm playing with just used the group's lunar as a living can opener. This is great.

[thegreatblacksby]

Rafisol: Love makes people do stupid things.

Ally: I love everything!

Rafisol: That explains a lot.

[thegreatblacksby]

Just learned another downside to being an adult.

Can't wear the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl DS bag like a backpack :(

[thegreatblacksby]

Welp, that's a hilarious mistranslation.

[thegreatblacksby]

Tails, placing down a poker card: "Ace of spades."

Amy, playing an Uno card: "Plus 4, Blue."

Sonic, playing a Pokémon card: "Jolteon, I choose you!"

Knuckles, playing a Cards Against Humanity card: "Bees?"

Sticks, throwing her cards in the air: "WHAT GAME ARE WE PLAYING?!"

[thegreatblacksby]

Madeline: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Madeline: *upends the bottle*

[thegreatblacksby]

This place is a cesspool. But it's my emotional support cesspool, so I would appreciate it if you didn't erase it.

[thegreatblacksby]

@pukicho you're famous outside Tumblr now. Not sure if that's a good thing. https://youtu.be/tNAHyFCDy54

[thegreatblacksby]

Susie: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Kris will and will not eat.

Lancer: Grass? Yes!

Susie: Moss? Yes!!

Lancer: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Susie: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Lancer: Worms? Sometimes!

Susie: Rocks? Usually nah.

Lancer: Twigs? Usually!

Susie: Roulxs' cooking? Inconclusive!

Ralsei: How did you… test this?

Susie: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Ralsei: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Roulxs: IS THAT WHERETH ALL MINE SPARETH SHOELACES WENT?

[thegreatblacksby]

There was a post on here I didn't make, and I deleted it. Something about ray ban sunglasses.

[incorrectpuyotris]

Source: Kirby’s Adventure

Transcript:

Arle: First you draw a circle, Then you dot the eyes,

Arle: Add a great big smile,

Arle: And presto,

Arle: It’s Carby!

Carbuncle: Gugugu!

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Instructions unclear, drew pink puffball instead.

[thegreatblacksby]

Parasoul: Have you been merchandised yet, Annie?

Annie: Have I been merchandised? Bubelah, my image is plastered on so much crud that even I'M getting sick of it! Coffee mugs, t-shirts, feminine hygiene products... and that's not even counting the 43 different action figures.

Parasoul: Action figures?

Annie: Oh yeah. You want one, princess?

Parasoul: Yeah! Uh, not for me, of course. It's for my, uh, sister, Umbrella.

Umbrella: Don't go dragging me into your arrested adolescence.

Annie: Tell you what, Ms. Renoir. Meet me behind the set after shooting, and I'll set "Umbrella" up with a rare mint-condition "Star Striker" Annie.

Parasoul: Yes! ...I-I mean, I'm sure she'll be very happy.

[thegreatblacksby]

My sins are innumerable in quantity and immeasurable in magnitude. I have done many terrible things to to get me to the point I'm at in life. Sure I'm ballin... But at what cost?