Tails: Has anyone seen my contacts?
Cream: Tails, you have contacts?
Tails: Yeah, saves me from putting these on.
*holy choir singing can be heard as Tails holds out a pair of glasses*
Cream: Holy sweet mother of a sploosh-
Tails, about to put them on: Well, it's better than being blind...
Cream: TAILS DON'T DO IT!
Tails, lowering the glasses: Huh?
Rouge, coming out of hiding: God damn it, you know how hard it is to steal someone's contacts?!
Tails: What is happening?
Cream: Miss Rouge, are you trying to kill us?
Rouge: He's got slutty little glasses, Cream. I wanna see him in the slutty little glasses!
Tails: But they're prescription...
Cream: There are some things mortal eyes aren't meant to see!
Rouge, pinning Cream to the ground: Put them on Tails, I'll restrain her!
Cream: Don't do it, Tails! You don't know the powers you'll unleash!
Rouge: Surrender to the slutty little glasses!
Cream: TOAST CAN'T BE BREAD AGAIN, MISS ROUGE!
Rouge: MAMA DON'T WANT BREAD! MAMA NEVER WANTED BREAD!
Tails: I fear I've lost the thread, what's the right thing to do?
Rouge: Put them on please.
Cream: Put them- Oh darn it.
Tails, putting the glasses on: Well, I'm a people pleaser.
Cream: AAAAHHHH!
Tails: What, what is it?!
Rouge, in tears: IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!
Cream: MY EYES! MY EYES!
Tails: I don't understand! Don't look! DON'T LOOK!
Vector, checking in: Hey guys, what's going ooAAAAAA-
Tails: VECTOR GET AWAY!
Vector: YOUR FACE! YOUR GENTLE FREAKING FACE IT'S FLAWLESS!
Rouge: TOUCH MY FACE WITH YOUR HANDS, TAILS!
Cream, choking Rouge out: HE'S MINE, I CLAIM HIM!
Rouge: ACK-
Vector: TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, OH BEAUTIFUL DEMIGOD!
Tails: NOBODY LOOK AT ME- Here! I'll look up at the sky; at that plane!
*the plane crashes with a loud boom after Tails looks at it*
Tails, taking the glasses off: Okay, I draw the line at terrorism...
Rouge, visibly crying: Nooo, you were perfect!
Tails: I'm sorry, but I can't hurt anybody else. This is my new cross to bear! I will suffer from this astigmatism with PRIDE! Now, if you excuse me, it's a little chilly, I have to put on my turtleneck.
Cream: *gasps in sploosh*
Tails: WILL YOU LET ME LIVE MY LIFE?!












