I second all of this and have more to add!
So you mention “fear of abandonment” as “not the highest ranked on this list, but, not without its’ moments”
Now, fear of abandonment is one of the most important characteristics of BPD, however, I think Ed has more moments than you give him credit for.
With BPD, fear of abandonment goes way beyond getting mad at someone who is planning on leaving you, or even some paranoia over someone running late (although those are all great examples). Someone with BPD is frequently terrified that the people they care about will leave them, and look for evidence everywhere.
I can’t find the link right now, but I read an article by a woman with BPD who said she burned pictures of her and her boyfriend along with a collection of gifts he’d given her and peed on his apartment floor because he didn’t want to have sex that night.
This behavior was part of her abandonment issues. To her not being ‘in the mood’ = he’s losing interest in me and will leave me. If this is how BPD affects a normal person, it makes sense that Oswald killing Isabella and Lee saying “this is the end of the road for us” would drive Ed - who clearly has low empathy - to kill.
I think if we dig a little deeper into Ed’d character we can find numerous examples of rejection paranoia. But first, a few other items of note.
You bring up his hallucinations under “unclear/shifting self-image” but I would also point out that BPD sufferers have reported hallucinations as a symptom.
“While BPD has an emphasis on emotional dysregulation, many of us also experience debilitating forms of psychosis, including delusions, hallucinations and heavy disassociation. In fact, disassociation is one of the hallmarks of BPD... ...examining yourself from an external point of view in order to escape stressful situations.”
“Stress related paranoia and dissociative symptoms: Hallucinations are terrifying and very hard to deal with. Although my hallucinations tend to be few and far between, the dissociative symptoms are common.”
“Usually I’m okay,” she told Dr. Gray. “But there’s another side that takes over and controls me. I’m a good mother. But my other side makes me a whore; it makes me act crazy!”
(2010-10-24T23:58:59). I Hate You--Don't Leave Me . Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Ed also tracks with the tendency for BPD individuals to have unstable career paths. In Season 1 he frequently gets in trouble at work, including getting suspended. In Season 2 his criminality lose him his job and his freedom. In Season 3 he rises to become Oswald’s Cheif of Staff, then goes off on his Riddler adventures, then tags along with Barbara before betraying her. In Season 4 he has his show in the Narrows, then works for Lee, then helps Oswald, then has a different show in the Narrows, then partners with Lee, then dies. And so on...
Okay, let’s look a little deeper at Ed. Let’s take it one relationship at a time:
Now, their romantic relationship only lasted a few weeks at most, so not a lot of time for BPD symptoms to manifest, but in their professional relationship there was already evidence of “splitting”, where someone with BPD mentally divides their perception of a loved one between a perfect person they adore and a bad person they hate.
Ed mostly has the former perception of Kristen, but there are a couple instances where he is mad at her, especially the Season 1 finale where he rants to himself about how she “treats [him] like dirt” while literally splitting between his own personalities on screen. And of course, their first date where his alter-ego berates him for messing up (“you blew it, dummy”). Classic example of fear of rejection.
Their relationship was even shorter, but since it usually takes a few weeks for someone’s BPD symptomes to manifest in a relationship, the intense and idealized view he had of her is consistent with the disorder. And he constantly worries he will mess up their relationship. In 3x07 he worries she will leave him over his past crimes, and in 3x08 he worries he will hurt/kill her and lose her.
This relationship definitely shows signs of splitting and fear of abandonment. Their relationship starts off rocky in Season 4. Ed thinks highly of Lee as a doctor, but they argue over her leadership decisions.
He calls her “magnificent” in 4x12, then says she can’t handle taking on Sofia in 4x15. He doesn’t seem very angry with her over her dishonesty in 4x10, but expresses a deep sense of betrayal over it in 4x17. Once their romantic relationship begins, he constantly worries she is less invested. In 4x19 he asks if she’s “leading [him] on” and flips from being supportive to angry at the idea he’s attached to her, to declaring he’s fine with her using him because he likes her anyway and they have a special connection. Then in 4x20, he’s back to warning her to not “just wrap [him] around [her] finger”. Then spends the entirety of the finale worried she likes Jim better, culminating in their deadly confrontation.
I could pick apart how the way he talks about Lee and their relationship maps perfectly onto the way someone with BPD would be expected to. One example is their conversation at the beginning of 4x19. Ed’s “what am I to you” clearly shows fear of abandonment, and before that he shows passive-aggressive “delicate anger”. Dr. Kreisman describes this as “‘constructive’ criticism, sarcastic comments, belittling of ambitions and achievements”. Ed does exactly this with his speculation about how the people of the Narrows will spend their cash.
This relationship could be analyzed through this lens forever, but I’ll try to be brief. Obviously, his fanboyish attitude in mid-Season 2 tracks well with idealization. I would also point to 3x17 where he argues with himself about whether Oswald will betray him to Jim (”he’s my friend” “you idiot... ...odds of Penguin telling Gordon: also 80 percent”) as fear of abandonment.
The one-step-forward-two-steps-back nature of their relationship in Season 4 and early Season 5 also fits well with how BPD might affect a relationship. Ed constantly assumes the worst intentions in Oswald, but also genuinely enjoys spending time with him.
Finally, I would like to discuss the Sympathy, Empathy, & Truth (SET) communication style Dr. Kreisman recommends for people to use when talking to a loved one with BPD.
When someone with BPD gets angry and accusatory, it’s easy for their loved ones to get angry and defensive. We certainly see this negative feedback loop between Ed and Oswald a lot. Dr. Kreisman advises to “avoid a derogatory description” (Oswald repeatedly puts Ed down when they’re fighting, even before 3x14), “don’t dodge you’re responsibility” (see: “you should thank me because we both know what would have happened if I hadn’t”), and “don’t lie” (do I even need to give an example?).
But the recommended method is to stay calm and use SET. And as Ed and Oswald's relationship improves in Season 5, I think we can see Oswald’s communication falling more in line with this style. In 5x07 Oswald stays calm throughout their interaction and while he defends himself, he doesn’t acknowledges Ed’s concerns before turning the conversation towards the “truth” (that they are still both alive and trapped in Gotham). In 5x08 they start out fighting when Oswald is late and while he gets a little defensive and uses derogatory language to describe Ed’s alarm system. His show of empathy when he admits he’s been a bad friend helps turn the interaction around.
During their final pier scene in 5x11 Oswald expresses sympathy and empathy for Ed’s experience being mind-controlled, while holding firm and expressing the truth that even if it doesn’t work out for him he can’t leave Gotham in crisis. It’s not perfect SET communication, but it’s a lot closer than in previous seasons.
I’ll end with a few relevant quotes about BPD:
“there’s an extreme level of it where there’s this perception that nobody likes you. Why would anybody be friends with you. Then you wind up being a shitty friend to people, because you just assume that they don’t want to be friends”
“Things were really, really great at first. We moved in together, he was really supportive, but I could not get it out of my head that I didn’t trust him. For no good reason! I was just constantly paranoid. It was so invasive in our relationship... ...It would be like a switch flipped, where he was this awesome partner, and then something small happened, and the switch would flip, and I hated him. I would hate him. And then the switch would flip back.”
“...their behavior is so predictably unpredictable that it can be captured empirically. In a recent study, healthy subjects were partnered with borderline patients in an online game of strategy that required players to cooperate in order to succeed. But the borderline patients so frequently acted erratically and broke alliances that the healthy players stopped collaborating—even though it meant sacrificing potential ‘earnings.’”
“I was so concerned with how I felt, I didn’t realize how my breakdowns were affecting him. I was so self-absorbed and centered myself constantly without considering his feelings, which were just as valid as mine. It was difficult for me to process the fact that he needed to isolate himself for his own mental health, because I couldn’t help but think that he didn’t want to interact with me because he hated me.”
“In his search for identification, the BP is attracted to people and organizations that appear to offer controlled, disciplined direction and simplistic answers” - Dr. Kreisman, Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
“He may alternate complaints that you are not paying enough attention to him with demands that you stop telling him what to do.” - Dr. Kreisman, Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder