TheGreenMod

Poet

[thegreenmod]

Those Smiley Eyes 👀

Those smiley eyes,

Could synthesize,

A million words to say,

I love you.

I remember that moment where you looked me in the eye,

By the river bank,

As if it were etched in my eyelids,

Forever and after.

A lifetime of that same old prologue,

Watching and waiting for the story to unfold,

Such a beautiful one I’m inclined to believe,

Or at least,

So I’m told.

Lying and lounging,

Under a summer night’s sky,

I took shelter,

Amidst the comfort of your breath,

And rested my face against your chest,

In the evening cold.

It was here that I found myself uncharacteristically shy,

Nervous even,

Contemplating,

Whether or not a kiss,

Would be too bold?

When I was in your aura,

It was if everything in the frame was blurred,

Your heartwarming face was the sole focus of the shot,

And I was yours,

That was it.

I can still see each moment,

Like a highlight reel,

Playing in my mind,

So beautiful and golden these memories,

They make me smile,

And at the same time, cry.

Honey, that bubbly sunshine energy had me lost within you,

As if time had turned to slow motion.

Your beautiful brown eyes smiling at me,

Acquiescently drowning me,

That loving gaze was like a potion.

It took me like a narcotic causing my consciousness to change,

And that feeling of love itself,

Even if only temporarily,

Was no longer estranged.

For the first time in a long time,

I could feel,

It’s all I could do.

I lost my breath,

I mean I completely lost myself within you,

And all I want,

Is for you to know,

At least for me,

It was real.

I felt that ray of love when you looked at me.

Like a tractor beam of joy,

Reigning me in,

Bringing me home.

I can still feel your perfect skin,

That moment of contact and contortion,

It made me melt.

Because yours,

Was the sweetest grin,

That I’ve ever felt,

And when it shined towards me,

Like the sun peeking over the hills,

It warmed up that part of my heart I thought was sleeping.

I never really got to say goodbye,

To reflect and gain some closure,

I guess for that,

Its hard to move on,

Still, I’m grateful for the exposure.

I’ll always have the memories of those loving times,

Even if I feel like I’m still hurting.

Teasing you for wearing socks in bed,

Then the cuddling and endless flirting.

For months I’ve tried to forget you,

But it seems like that just won’t work.

I worry that I’ve upset you,

In the moments where anxiety lurks.

I hope in reading this you feel how much I care for you,

Even if it makes me seem like a wussy,

Because I’ll never be able to forget you,

My lil Canadian Hussy 🍁

[thegreenmod]

An Acquiescent Slumber

Paper planes,

And shadow games,

Are filling up the room,

Creative haste,

Internal debates,

And mornings spent on zoom.

Daisy chains,

A schoolyard game,

That fades into another,

A life this tame,

Is a fire contained,

And a longing for another.

Self-restraint,

Is bottled paint,

In the hands of an artist,

Perhaps beauty is gauged,

By the beholder,

But its the self who feels cathartic.

So embrace the cold,

Shatter the mould,

And call another number,

After a year inside,

Another subsides,

And then unto another.

Don’t turn away,

As fate dictates,

A block to stumble over,

Potential stays,

While life awaits,

In the spirit of a rover.

A flame,

Without the room to breathe,

Will quell into a slumber.

And shame,

Is just the coward’s face,

As he clings onto the summer.

[thegreenmod]

Life In Blue And Red

Life in blue and red,

Just human performance,

Measured against key metrics,

Nike endurance,

Lululemon athletics,

Conspiracy theory skeptics.

Life in blue and red,

Trading paper for lies.

Rejecting the dread,

That comes included,

Apps for mindfulness,

Commitments to wellness,

What are we doing man?

Life in blue and red,

Bougey self-care practices,

Commodified, commercialized,

Plush yoga studios,

Designer stereos,

Playing spotify recommended music.

Life in blue and red,

Updating your life on the gram,

Refraining from posting,

Anxieties from hosting,

Just bury your head in one instead.

Watching stories,

Creating them,

Worse yet, believing them.

Life in blue and red,

Looking for gratification,

We need it,

We fucking crave it

Man, I hate it.

Life in blue and red,

Tainted,

Chained to your ego,

Mine won’t let me go,

Or us?

We?

I don’t know.

Life in blue and red,

I want to be alone,

I don’t want to want to,

But I do,

A lot,

Often.

Should I post that?

Life in blue and red,

I crave to get away,

Yea I feel lonely,

But there’s nothing homely about that place anymore.

There’s no home here and there’s no home there,

There’s noone,

Or nothing really,

Anywhere.

Is there?

Life in blue and red,

I don’t know what I’m looking for?

I don’t want anything,

I certainly don’t care to be king,

And I spit in the face of those who do.

Life in blue and red,

Those lustful moments,

The smut and gluttony I smear myself in,

Makes them think I’m bold.

Or so I’m told anyway.

Life in blue and red,

The waters getting pretty high,

This time it really feels like it is,

So I’ll wait for another moment,

A better time.

Cause I can do better,

I will,

I can convince myself of that,

Of a lot,

But can’t change those innate behaviours.

Life in blue and red,

Chasing perfection, lost in distraction,

Fractions of attraction,

Actions of passion,

Rationed over 25 years of reflection.

Life in blue and red,

Just induction,

Doctrines of production, consumption, compulsion, obsession, affection, rejection.

Self-infliction, self-indulgence,

And ultimately self-destruction.

At least it was me I guess,

And I can see that.

Life in blue and red,

Spirals of wire tangled, mangled, wrangled,

Connected,

Candid?

Doubt it.

Life in blue and red,

Deities hate me,

Fuck them,

They repulse me,

I build them in people I know instead,

Cause I can choose.

Me.

Me?

I’m not so happy,

I think I was,

I can’t really remember,

Can’t really be sure anyway,

I never can.

Who should I compare myself to?

Life in blue and red,

Whats the point in being sad?

Its not good enough,

And yeno it feels pretty bad,

What’s the point?

What is the point?

What is the point?

Life in blue and red,

I know it was me who opened that door,

And it ain’t closing anytime soon.

I wonder if there’s another?

There should be,

If I can get my act together,

And claim it for myself,

I suppose we’ll see.

We?

Me?

The same thing.

Isn’t it?

I don’t know,

I guess that’s just life in blue and red.

[thegreenmod]

Don’t Dismiss A Heretic

Maybe his hair’s a jolly roger,

And you could call him a heretic,

But he won’t accept your pompous dogma,

I guess he’s a skeptic.

And he’ll test you on your conscience,

As your patience wears thin,

Says that consciousness’s,

A virtue and comes from within.

You’re not a victim,

More a vixen,

Floating flippantly on heart-strings,

Not defensive nor impressive,

Because those choices leave a sting.

Not like a bee with grace and pride,

Laid bare naked as he subsides,

More like a wasp,

In a costume,

A toss up,

Between ignorance and guise.

You can practice your pretense,

Based on reaction and what ensued,

But in practising you’re suppressing,

The facts you know to be true.

Your situation wasn’t brought upon,

By the government, society, a deity, or some type of glue,

It was laziness, cowardice, escapism,

And well...that’s on You.

[thegreenmod]

The Idle Deceit of Wishing For Change

To all my brothers and sisters younger than me,

A piece of advice,

Be who you want to be,

See what you want to see,

Stay silly,

Stay bold,

And if you find yourself facing the cold of your surroundings,

Do not let it cloud your sense of self,

Stay warm,

Stay strong,

Be brave,

Be yourself,

And embrace the opportunities that life brings your way.

Because we can’t change yesterday,

We can’t say for certain what will come tomorrow,

So we should live for today x

[thegreenmod]

Dark Corners

As london fogs over with the calming essence of home,

I find myself on the cusp of uncomfort.

Where to sit and what that says?

A passion pit of fronts battle.

The feeling ripe from toe to tip,

A whirlpool swirls,

And a slump begins,

Into which I suppose I should slip.

And now there’s panic on the streets.

Into the deep and into the dark,

I find the heat rises,

And a reluctant simmer begins,

Queue the shark,

And his relentless struggle.

Dark and muddy,

Distorted and ugly,

Reflection wades to perception,

It seems we’ve come a long way,

From the warmth,

That the bubbly salesman argued for.

I suppose you could argue that nature’s the whore that bore this creature,

Albeit featureless and fearful.

But still, its a far cry from that memorable pitch,

To find yourself now residing,

So remorsefully, within this ditch.

I mean we can wade and wander through,

As we’ve always done,

But what will that achieve?

Is there any real reprieve?

Or will we just repeat?

[thegreenmod]

Assumptious

Daydream whispers of synergy,

As he fakes his autumn stance,

A face of perfect symmetry,

On a visit to the south of France.

He’s a man with a manifesto,

And he blinds us with his boyish charm,

He talks expansions and a deal with Tesco,

But tells us that he means no harm.

He’s the culprit,

A speaker of bullshit,

He’s never even been downtown.

He’ll blind you with his wit,

Your girlfriend thinks he’s fit,

Rest assured he’s on a pretty pound.

But how could he know,

How it feels to be so low?

With a Dad who was a politician,

He never had to chase the crow.

Researching the working class,

On an iphone,

Listening to mike skinner and the streets.

I doubt he sheds a tear,

On 300 grand a year,

For all of those that are on their knees.

[thegreenmod]

Post Wine Bottle Blurs

Oh stop calling me now that you’re pissed,

Cause its not the man standing here that you’ve missed,

Its the boy you left behind all those years ago,

With a sparkle in his eye and a smile on his face.

Now theres just a sour taste,

The sparkle’s faded away and the shine that’s left reflecting the light,

Is a tear,

A tear compiled from years and years,

Of unrelenting fear.

You haven't had a moment over all of these months,

To chat or catch up and talk about us,

Talk about where this relationship has gone,

Why this bond was lost,

Abused and broken before its yield,

Then trudged through the field,

And pulled across the pond.

It didn’t have to expire,

Now my patience is lost,

My feelings like frost,

And I’ve a temper like fire.

I’m left alone to consider why I find myself in moments like these,

With tears in my eyes,

And clouds in the skies,

A mind muddled with ties of the past,

And shackles I can’t shake like plaster-cast.

Wrapped around my heart,

They play their part,

In holding me back,

From where I want to be,

With “home” just a distant memory.

So excuse me for being short on the phone,

As you fill the silence with slurs,

But the post wine-bottle blurs,

Are surprisingly worse,

Than being alone.

[thegreenmod]

Comfortably Uncomfortable In Dreams

Bitter, beaten, broken, and betrayed,

The patience I’ve grown,

And have now come to know,

Has become frayed,

In this tame excuse of comfort,

I call home.

I struggle to sleep,

I try counting sheep,

Until the violent tone,

Of that emotionally ignorant phone,

Rings and rattles in my ear,

And evokes the now daily fear,

Of this aimless reality.

Pragmatically, emphatically,

I blame the author of my own downfall,

On the scapegoat of society’s hand,

As I distract myself,

Detract the last amount,

Of patience,

That is left in the sand.

The only enthusiasm

That I can seem to muster,

Is a tear,

A fear,

That the opportunity cost,

Could be worse,

And that thirst for change,

Is what grinds me down.

For all the other folk,

Who are comfortably numb,

Life is easy,

Ignorance is bliss,

Happiness,

A piece of piss,

And for me,

A warm gun.

What can I do?

How can I change?

This existence,

It seems so strange.

What is there left to ponder?

What could possibly lie yonder?

When you feel the exact same,

And our dreams seem out of range?

[thegreenmod]

They Can’t Leave Those Fiends Behind

Fields and fields and fields of schemes,

Those trees of dreams,

Grow alone in the forest.

They chase the time, try catch a leaf,

Make the choice to ignore that thief,

But can’t leave those fiends behind.

Idle, there’s flags of tags that sway,

They sulk and sag in a huff today,

In cultures lost, and far away,

They left a void that sits on a pole afraid.

Of future costs, and frosts to come,

Indigenous strife, and a life of alum,

Imperial, material and everything in between,

They painted their skin with a knife and a dream.

A scene, less keen than a post today,

There’s sun to swamp, from October to May,

Rent that squeezes, and sucks, and cuts,

Basement suites, and mouldy ruts.

I’m just a tourist, a purist, and I’m afraid to say,

All of these things,

That seem to scold, and beat and betray,

All of these people,

Who simply long to say,

Hey bud, so you’re from Canada eh?

[thegreenmod]

Grow Up

Happiness is something,

We’re all “looking” to find,

And when we search through nothing,

Is it a wonder we’re chained to the 9-5 grind?

That’s all we know,

That’s all we’ve seen,

Just a part of the usual shit show,

Never was, and still a has been.

We slip, snot, and slave,

For some cunt we don’t even know,

We’re taught that we should “outgrow” the rave,

In search of “not enough” dough.

We’re framed to think from inception,

And we learn what it is we’re supposed to do,

We long for a pre-authorised reception,

And forget to try anything new.

Grow up.

Credit: Ste3P0

[thegreenmod]

Just a Token

Theres plenty of dark in the light,

Plenty of reasons to fight,

Plenty of strife in this life,

All the things I consider,

As I chew on the edge of your knife.

I dont mean to pry,

Im not trying to make you cry,

Im trying to understand all these things,

Those not so kind,

That seem to plague your mind.

A lack of love and ill-behaviour,

Cause the cage around your heart to rust,

But I won’t tolerate your hypocritical lust,

Because situational love,

Is no love at all.

Keep an eye on that girl,

And where she lay,

Without a promise in writing,

Her fleeting mind could stray.

The temper’s always hardest to quell,

In the heat of the moment,

For the boy who tripped and fell,

And for you just a token.

A conversation un-spoken,

A brief moment that felt like something,

And then in a minute,

Nothing.

[thegreenmod]

The Drawer She Forgot To Clear

Reincarnation,

A caterpillar must die,

For butterflies to rise,

As this bird soars,

Past my bedroom door,

And into my line of sight.

Then into the stream of my thoughts,

Until we meet again,

When my mind is lost,

Between her smile and her eyes,

Over-thinking her words as a guise,

Stubbornly, time fails to sympathise.

Scarred and scared,

She draws parallels,

Between disparate identities,

Reluctantly re-living by-gone memories,

It seems her mind strays,

From whats right in-front of her.

Initially sceptical,

Unsure what to believe,

Theres a barrier in gaining her trust,

But a promise to chat everyday,

And to abstain from lust,

Points to the heart that I wear on my sleeve.

As she flys home for Christmas,

I’m left thinking how is it,

That theres a melancholic feel in the air?

See in this situation I’ve been thrust,

It feels so unjust,

That I can’t see her until the new year.

Who would’ve thought,

That such a chance encounter,

Would ever have brought us here?

When I think back on that day,

All I can say,

Is I bless the drawer she forgot to clear.

[thegreenmod]

Helen of Troy

They say boys will be boys,

Girls will be their toys,

Assume they were playing coy,

When there’s a bit of noise.

Yea boys will be boys,

Girls will be their toys,

She must of had a ploy,

Its the attention she enjoys.

Yea boys will be boys,

Girls will be their toys,

He must of had consent,

She must be in contempt.

Now the jury’s exempt,

And she’s left to lament,

The pain and the torment,

The shame that they subject.

What message are we sending?

To girls who’ve been a victim?

What underwear were you wearing?

And why had you picked them?

Did you expect to have to face,

A battle you would lose,

When you draped yourself in lace?

Now your case is on the news.

Well fuck all the boys,

Fuck the way they act,

The assumptions and compulsions,

And how the odds are stacked.

Yea fuck all the boys,

Fuck the awful choice,

Between being labeled and degraded,

And having a voice.

How could people have the heart,

To try to seek whats right?

After their lives have been torn apart,

They won’t even be given a fair fight.

[thegreenmod]

The Light Switch

What an interesting thing this life is,

One minute you're at the top of the hill,

The next you’re rolling in the ditch.

Sometimes I struggle to find the will,

But I know its just a switch.

These peaks and troughs,

Are lost and found,

In idle thoughts alone.

Searing deep and quite profound,

They numb you to the bone.

That awful mirror,

Just a murky misrepresentation,

When viewed with these darkened eyes.

It doesn’t reflect the truth I need,

It fails to sympathise.

Its only a placebo,

A strike to the ego,

It shows a version of ourselves we expect to see.

Not the friend, the idol, the lover, the brother,

Not the real me.

An aimless whisper,

That serves to haunt,

And corrupt the mind of truth.

This voice inside my head is old,

And filled with mis-spent youth.

This chatterbox,

A fucking paradox,

Of how I should be feeling.

When left to think, and sink some more,

I can’t accept their healing.

I’m sick of that noise,

I’m sick of that doubt,

I’m sick of feeling down.

But I’ll never give in to all his ploys,

No matter the amount.

I won’t lose to this shadow,

This pest, this prick, this bitch.

When I’m lost and I’m lonely,

And feeling so hollow,

My friends will flip that switch.

For a friend x

[thegreenmod]

This Old Radio

I know your ears ache,

And think for goodness sake,

Can we not change the tune,

On this old radio,

As the static clears,

And it’s sounds begin to seep.

But like a pigeon in a rainforest,

This horoscope tropical,

Horror-show parable,

Swirls round the pan,

Like salt in the sand,

And its enough to make even a dead man weep.

So if its a pest to you,

If I’m just some biological zoo,

I’d rather you didn’t stay,

Because those spiteful snares,

And sarcastic glares,

Do nothing to wax the shadow away.

But just know that if it was you,

Who was broken,

If it was your mouth,

That was open,

I wouldn’t push you away,

I’d want you to stay.

In the comfort of my arms,

And the quiet of your room,

I’d tell you to take a whisper,

And play it thin,

To taste the future,

In the times we were in,

And pour your aching heart for me my dear.

Because even though you irritate me daily,

And have hurt me so greatly,

I’d do anything for you,

Even though I know you abhor it,

And do your best to ignore it,

Just know that this old radio,

Loves you.

[thegreenmod]

The Opportunity Cost

Disregard the shard of memory,

That mars the mirror’s image,

And cleanse your soul of any preconceived distaste.

View yourself through a new lense,

And be taken aback by this emphatic change,

A coming of age.

The latest update arrives,

As the battle of personality traits,

Continues and thrives,

And that notion,

That a simple potion might hold the cure,

Seems unlikely,

The opportunity cost is what’s frightening.

The tension is tightening,

The realisation’s not so enlightening,

Could this be forever?

Both parts entwined together,

The heat and the rain,

An unnerving catalyst for fame.