Cosmic Funnies
occasionally subtle
hello vonnie
Fai_Ryy
Discoholic đȘ©
tannertan36
bliss lane
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#extradirty
The Stonewall Inn
The Bowery Presents
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Misplaced Lens Cap
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
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One Nice Bug Per Day
almost home
noise dept.
Game Changer & Make Some Noise
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@thehappywords
This blog is my outlet for my adhd, autism, depression, anxiety, chronic illness, and ptsd among a few other things. If there are things that are triggering to you or need me to tag certain posts, just ask and Iâll certainly do that
eternally painful that you can't socialize without people expecting you to talk. sometimes I just want to be around. like a cat
unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british
Doing stuff "childish" is okay and even good actually
- If using plates and silverware meant for kids means you will eat more often and/or find more joy out of eating, good! *
- If using a divided plate means you are going to feel more comfortable eating, good!
- If having a water bottle with your favorite character/show on it means you are going to drink more water, good!
- If having children's toothbrushes and toothpaste means you are going to brush your teeth more often, good!
- If watching tooth brushing videos aimed at kids makes brushing more enjoyable/helps prompt you to brush correctly, good!
- If taking a stuffed animal or other toy out with you means you are going to feel a little safer, good!
- If using a nightlight (esp one with characters on it) makes you feel safer and helps you sleep better, good!
- If you find coloring in books made for children/simpler pictures more enjoyable, good!
- If decorating your living space with "childish" things with characters or bright colors is going to make your space more enjoyable/usable, good!
- If using organization systems and prompts aimed at children is going to help you actually use them, good!
- If you enjoy media aimed at children, and it brings you joy and makes your days a little easier, good!
No matter what your age is, you are allowed to use the things that bring joy into your life or make your life easier to manage. You do not need to "grow up" or "do it like an adult". You can do it in whatever way works best for you. There should be no shame in it. I think some of us want to beat the allegations that autism makes us more "childlike" thinking it makes us more palatable, when having "age-inappropriate interests" are a commonly known trait. It is normal to have autistic traits when you have autism. You don't need to hide it or pretend you don't. Yes I know not all autistics are interested in this stuff either but that's not my focus
* also there have been studies done that people tend to absorb more nutrition from foods they enjoy, so you are doing yourself a huge favor by making eating fun!
emotions are just internal sensations and involuntary physical reactions. you can feel no emotion and still feel like something is wrong or unjust.
there is more to "feeling" than emotion. you can say feeling and thought are two different things but it doesn't change how similar or intertwined they are in practice.
more often than not when we say we feel something, we mean we're experiencing something internally. the only times people aren't experiencing something internally is when they are dead.
emotion is only an aspect of internal experience. it isn't always present, and it doesn't have to be for someone to be a full person with the ability to decide for themselves what their values are.
people with less emotional experiences are just people. not broken for it, not dangerous for it, not subhuman for it. many people have had times where they feel no discernible emotion, including at times they usually would or are expected to.
there is no moral difference between that and a minimal emotion baseline.
eating sugar is not a primary cause of diabetes. eating junk food is not a primary cause of diabetes. when you make jokes about "getting diabetes" over sugary, junk filled food, you are enforcing stereotypes that end with diabetics developing deadly eating disorders or experiencing medical abuse and neglect. Yes, it is that deep. Stop making diabetes jokes, you look like an uneducated bigot
i dislike the weird jump to blame suicide victims for their suicides and call them selfish. suicide is very frequently in some way a social murder. i think instead of blaming someone who was in such a dark place that they saw no other way out we should maybe be blaming the people who threw gas on the fire, such as those with a lot of power to make that person's life that bad or those who abused them into it. is that really that unreasonable
not once has being told i was being selfish- or seeing people talk about how selfish suicide is- EVER made me feel less suicidal. it creates shame. it makes me shut down and never want to disclose feeling this way because oh, g-d, doesn't that make me a bad person? oh, g-d, they'll think i'm a monster, they'll think i'm guilt tripping them, they'll think, they'll think, they'll think (....)
and worse still, nearly every time i've been pushed this far- and, indeed, a lot of my mental health problems to begin with- often stem from the idea that i am less important than anyone else. my thoughts, my feelings, my safety, my life are less important. so to hear people essentially say to me, "but how would everyone else feel!?"?? it doesn't help at all. it makes it so much worse. once more, i am not the important one. even at my lowest, i have to be the one to make compromises and consider how everyone else feels. how could that ever help me? how could you say that to someone?
This is your friendly reminder that if someone tells you that individual's pronouns are She/Her exclusively or He/Him exclusively and you are now aware of that
It is still misgendering to use they for that person.
"But it's universal" no, it's not. That person doesn't use they/them
"But it's gender neutral!" And? Some people prefer to be actively gendered.
"But I use they/them for everyone all the time!" Well, then maybe you should use people's proper pronouns (also, majority of the time I've seen this excuse, y'all will still use she/her for people you assume are binary cis women and he/him for people you assume are binary cis men. Maybe reflect on that)
As an intersex woman I have been consistently and regularly denied my womanhood, even while being a cis woman. People around me will constantly and consistently degender me. Degendering is misgendering.
This isn't just a dyadic cishet issue either. I've seen this degendering stuff happen within the community. If someone wants to be actively gendered, actively gender that person.
Op uses She/Her Only. Don't even fucking think about degendering me on this post.
shaking women by their shoulders with all my strength, screaming YOU DONT NEED TO GET PERMISSION TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE!!!!
you can choose to break up with someone for any reason. and itâs your choice. youâre allowed. you donât need to ask for permission. you donât even need to do it in person. you wonât get in trouble. in fact, most of the time youâll be in trouble for fucking staying.
they donât even have to suck! you can just be tired! or bored! or want to be single! you donât have to stay with a person you donât want to be with because they âare such a good person and havenât done anything wrongâ!
WHY DO I KEEP TALKING TO WOMEN WHO ARE STUCK IN RELATIONSHIPS THEY DONT WANT TO BE IN
with no-fault divorces currently on the fucking chopping block, we really need to start telling young women that they have autonomy when it comes to their romantic relationships.
no, you donât have to date that guy just cuz he wants to date you.
no, you donât have to stay with her because she doesnât want to break up.
no, you donât have to keep dating them even though they havenât cheated/abused you/whatever horrible thing is your only reference for ending a relationship.
this is basic info, but youâd be surprised at how many women donât understand this, or feel like itâs not true.
and before ANYONE says that this goes for everyone, not just women, yes of course it does. anyone of any gender can suffer from this.
but letâs not deny that women are taught this shit from a young age. be virtuous, forgiving, kind, soft, turn the other cheek, itâs just cuz heâs a man and youâre a girl and you donât understand. stay with him or youâre a bitch.
australian sour patch kids have gluten in them i am truly at my fucking limit im crashing out im waging war against wheat idgaf anymore
oh is that one of those things where ableist companies put in traces of common allergens so they can just avoid the cost of making it safe
WHAT
A trend we predicted in 2016 continues.
US based but itâs similar reasons in other countries. and of course many companies have international locations. idk if thatâs why itâs happening with sour patch kids but this is a thing
I cannot even explain how ANGRY I am at this.
My nephew is very allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame. Last year my sister discovered all hot dogs and hamburger buns now contain sesame. Not "may contain", but listed in the ingredients. This year basically every brand of sliced bread also now contains sesame, making it very difficult to find bread items he can eat.
They're just adding it to their products, so they can just list it as an ingredient and not bother with worrying about cross contamination. And they aren't even bothering with telling anyone. Capitalism is going to kill us all.
"Which brings us back to Kelloggâs. Back in 2016, the company found a way around the added burden and expense of complying with the FSMA: they simply began adding trace amounts of peanut flour to their cracker products. Doing so allowed them to list peanuts as an ingredient of the product, freeing them from having to prevent cross-contact.
At the time, Kelloggâs notified Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) about the impending change and left it to them to warn the allergic community. In this case, Pearsonâs didnât even bother as near as we can tell."
I wish my joints would stop having opinions about the changing weather
"SURVIVING"
I love yall. Whoever you are. I'll always love you person reading this.
as someone with ARFID i really couldn't care less about the distinction between "picky eaters" and "genuine eating issues." if you are an asshole to someone you see as "just picky" i will never, ever trust you. i've lived through the trauma of being shamed and humiliated for my eating needs.
frankly i think a LOT of "picky eaters" have some kind of sensory problemsâ autistic or allisticâ and shame is never useful. i don't fucking care how annoying you think we are. if you've never lived through the humiliation of being the only one not eating at a dinner table, or having to choke down something disgusting you already know you hate because other people insist you don't know your own body, or getting a hunger migraine in a house full of food because none of its edible to you? you don't understand how awful it is to have food issues.
whenever i see people draw this distinction between being "just a picky eater" and "having a real problem" all i think is, who does this serve? most people don't even know ARFID exists. there are so many undiagnosed autistics, or just people with a variety of issues that aren't officially diagnosed. why do we need a medical label in order to be treated with respect and compassion? why did i need to be diagnosed as autistic for my family to realize the abuse they put me through for years because of my eating habits?
it's such an easy habit for neglected groups to fall intoâ the idea that a medical diagnosis can save us. that by appealing to the medical/psychiatric industry, we can be protected from abuse and given basic respect and resources. but the truth is that it should never have come to this in the first place. dignity doesn't come from an abled doctor telling you that there's a medical reason for your symptoms. it comes from being a person. once you accept that you need a Good Reason to have your needs respected, you doom yourself to neglecting and abusing those who have your same struggles because they aren't lucky enough to access medical recognition.
tl;dr solidarity with all "picky eaters" stop guilting people for having varying food needs, if we make you irrationally angry that's YOUR problem not ours, and abolish "children's menus" & replace them with simple-food / small-portion menus for people of all ages
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tiredâthat will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" taskâbecause the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
Donât comment on peopleâs bodies!
DONâT COMMENT ON PEOPLES BODIES!
DO NOT COMMENT ON PEOPLEâS BODIES!
I donât understand the need to comment on someoneâs body just because! Someone commented on my knees because theyâd never seen them before as I normally wear pants. They said âseeing my kneecaps was somethingâ. Not even sure if thatâs a bad thing but I absolutely hate my body being commented on unless I either bring it up or itâs something like my tattoos or piercings.
It doesnât help that I am insecure about my legs because theyâre white as shit because I always wear pants and my knees stemming from thinking they were weird looking as a kid.
Please stop commenting on someoneâs body because you never know their insecurities or their feelings and can end up causing anxiety and discomfort.
They should invent a sleeping for people with chronic fatigue that actually works.
