Jess Hodge @thehodgedotcom - Tumblr Blog

totalparksandrec

black-creole-queen-deactivated2

This episode changed a generation.

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17 Tumblr Posts All Book Lovers Will Feel In Their Soul

buzzfeed

Some suggestions for how to respond when men tell you to smile.

willow

heathicorn

am i the only one who rehearses things i might say in advance? and I don’t mean like my theoretical oscars acceptance speech i mean like what i’ll say to the pizza guy when I answer the door in my pjs

heythisisbecky

Whenever I am sad I just think about Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister for Magic, having to explain the wizarding world to new elected Prime Minister Hugh Grant in Love Actually

liberty-flight

I’m reading up on chocolate frog cards in the Harry Potter universe, for reasons, and-

“Came up with the ever changing floor plan.”

Really, Ravenclaw? Really?

“You know what this school needs? To not make any sense-”

“Rowena, I don’t think-”

“Exactly, you don’t think. I’m brilliant and this is perfect. Moving staircases, walls that think they’re doors-”

“But how will the students get to class?”

“They’ll have to figure it out.”

“…”

“Everyday. They will figure it out everyday. My students will live in a tower and navigate these stairs every time.”

“The stairs move! This doesn’t seem safe…I think I’ll put my common room in the basement, Rowena.”

“Ditto. I think the dungeons would be safer…”

“…My kids will brave these stairs. I’ll take the other tower.”

into-the-weeds

#Rowena snipes that ‘cunning’ means Salazar’s students should be able to handle the moving architecture#Salazar snipes back that ‘cunning’ means knowing when and how to avoid unnecessary bullshit#meanwhile Godric is just yelling PARKOUR! and Rowena is all That’s Not What I Meant#Helga would like her students to make it to class on time and without any broken bones#ninety percent of the reliable secret passages were a team effort by Helga and one of the others#to make sure the house elves could get around all right (via @mzminola)

eugeniedanglars

#i feel like the collaboration was probably hufflepuff and slytherin#in the only time they ever worked together#helga: students and house elves can move safely!#salazar: more places to hide snakes#salazar is like we should make these accessible to people with no legs#helga is like i mean i agree but why are you being so nice about this#salazar is like no reason hey I’m just gonna make some of these rely on snake language for fun#do you think a fifty foot snake would fit in this passage asking for a friend (via @dinosauriaawesome)

i’m literally crying this is 100% what happened

(hey tumblr please don’t delete the previous people’s comments like you did the last time i added someone’s tags to a post mmkay)

whoopsrobots

No but that’s actually so clever okay like the people who live in the castle would get a general idea of the patterns and how to move around efficiently but like for anyone planning on attacking it would be impossible to infiltrate like how the hell do I attack the headmaster when I can’t even find the bathroom why the fuck am I in a chemistry supply closet okay these stairs went to the main hall but now I’m on my way to the broom closets holy fucking shit fuck leonard SAID the dorm was on the left of the three headed hippogriff but I’m here and it’s just a painting of a man with a donkey face is this a fucikgin joke leonard do you think this is funny because it’snot. its not okay siri how the hell do i get to the nearest anything “here is: the nearest painting” like fuck you siri

roachpatrol

actually considering all this, the changing floorplan probably worked exactly as designed when it came to the battle of hogwarts in the late 90′s. the invasion was towards the end of the term, so the students, especially the renegade students in hiding, had the full term to master getting around the school quickly, quietly, and efficiently. the invading deatheaters were generally their parents’s ages, and hadn’t been back to hogwarts in several decades, if they’d even attended at all. so, while the adult invaders easily outmatched the adolescent defenders in strength and skill, hogwarts was a lethal maze to the deatheaters, while it was home to the kids.

rowena knew what the fuck she was doing.

xenobites

commongayboy-deactivated2018082

taraknowlshasmoved-deactivated2

is there ever that one celebrity that no matter what mood youre in, if you feel like crap you just see a picture of them and you just smile and think “thank you for existing” because they have made your day brighter even if you don’t really know them

carolrance

the correct answer is:

pilgrimkitty

This is the correct answer. Did you know that when she finds out a studio has asked an actress to lose weight she contacts them and yells at them?

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14 Graphs And Charts That Perfectly Explain Hangovers

babyanimalgifs

injeghafa

@whatlovelybooks this is your cat lmao

whatlovelybooks-deactivated2026

No but this is totally him OMG

jinah

once i had 2 let it rip so bad in class like i could not hold it in any longer . so i was like ok . it feels like a slient one . no1 will notice . so i did it n damn .. man ive never smelt one so bad .. i couldnt believe it came from me . n u could trace the smell bc evey1 was looking back at me .. n the teacher was like ok . who farted . damn why are u asking . u kno no is going 2 say shit just shut up n open the window im abt 2 die .. n every1 turned backk 2 me n so much shit was going thro my mind then.. i was like the hell am i going 2 do . so i turn back 2 the kid sitting behind me n im like “clyde . thats so fucking nasty im abt 2 die. “ that was os evil of me .. damn i felt bad for clyde bc he was getting the worst of it . sitting behind me .. in the area of danger