To all my techs who work with children in theatre
One thing I figured out is if you write signs and hang them back stage, kids are more likely to behave. But they canāt just say āQuiet backstageā or ādonāt touch props that arenāt yours.ā They need to be threatening, but so absurd that no one will actually be offended. Make them as irrational as possible.
Some of my favorites that Iāve made include:
āIf you touch someone elseās prop, I will remove your fingers and sew them back on, but theyāll be backwards so your fingernails are on the insideā
āNo talking back stage or I will take one of your kidneys and sell it so I can pay back my student loansā
āIf you throw your costumes on the floor instead of hanging them back up, I will wear them and you will have to stand center stage and beg me to get them backā
āIf you break a prop, you have to eat it. If you break a prop that isnāt yours, you have to eat it and give me $5ā
āDonāt be loud or Iāll follow you around the halls between your classes yodeling.ā (The show was in a middle school)
It sounds kind of dumb, but if the kids see youāre not actually being mean about asking them to behave and they have a visual reminder, theyāll be more likely to follow it. When I was 11, I was in a production where the SM hung signs that said āQuiet backstageā everywhere, and they felt really passive aggressive so we didnāt listen. Making stupid, impossible threats shows you have a sense of humor, but still need them to be quiet and respect the props.
I also covered mine in dinosaur stickers, and they thought it was cool, so if you have dinosaur stickers, use them
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