You sit there on the low couch
A story I’ve read a thousand times before
And I turn to watch you, as the story goes on
And wonder how much of you I really know
And how much I knew is now gone
I watch as you laugh and you smile
And there’s an itch in my fingers, an itch in my mind
Seeing you happy gives me some hope
That with my help it reaches your heart
I itch to ask the questions, to go and trace the lines
To see what’s a mask, and what’s hidden behind
You laugh and you smile, all words and all air
And I’m wondering wondering and my hand’s in my hair
And I don’t know how to say it, how to ask you for truth
To know if you’re hurting, what lies at the root
And I watch and I wonder, all hollow words too
Do you see my mask, is it hidden from view?
I don’t know the answer, can’t find the words
So I sit and I smile, and and sing a new verse
Sing us at peace, all easy and free
I know this isn’t you, do you know it’s not me?
I’m scared to the bone to ask how you feel
How much is indulgence, how much of it’s real?
I know you have lost, and been left all alone
I know that it’s simpler to stay all unknown
But you reach out sometimes, and I can’t help but see
Something in you that looks a whole lot like me
So I’ll say what I can, all stutters and stumbles
And you can laugh if you’d like at all of the bumbles
Because I know that it’s easy to hide pain away
To push it back down, make it wait for a day
To take it and force it to serve as you will
But it can’t reach the hole you struggle to fill
And I stand there in silence, the words lost in my mind
And I’m scared that you know the world isn’t kind
In my mind I am braver, in my mind I can ask
What hurt you so deeply, why wear your mask?
I can trace all the lines, all the scars and the cracks
I can heal all the hurts, and fill what still lacks
I can promise forever, to stay by your side
But my words they stumble, my time I still bide
And I think you’re afraid that you’ll end up alone
In a hollow joy, a broken down throne
But I’m trying to tell you that you don’t have to fear
Because as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be right here
And the words they just stumble right out of my mind
That I’ll stay if you want me, your words are my bind
And I look at the fractures just under your mask
Next time just maybe I’ll have the courage to ask
I go for the night, say goodbye at the door
Say what I can, still want to say more
Give you a call, as I’m heading back home
Say clearer words now that I’ve had time to roam
Tell myself it’s enough, to reach under your mask
Tell myself that next time I’ll have the courage to ask
Is it enough, when I stand in the dark?
Just as broken, your pains so stark?
Is it enough to know that I care?
That I am your friend, that I will be there?
I’m filled with the questions, filled with the fears
I bite down the terror, bite down on the tears
Because that’s not what you need, my pain onto yours
When you’re seeking a friend, there with open doors
Open arms, open words, open promises too
Someone who loves you, somebody true
So I’ll stand in the dark, and I’ll tell you your truths
Speak of the beauty, show you the proof
Tell you you shaped me, made me a friend
Someone worth knowing, not scared of the end
Tell you that I owe you my every best part
That you have my friendship, that I’d give you my heart
That if you stood there empty, I’d pout into you
Leave myself hollow, if you needed me to
Because these questions unanswered still ring in my ears
Are you alright? Are you lost to your fears?
I can’t find the answer that I’m too scared to ask
That you’re lost there inside, it’s all just a mask
So I tell you the truth, show you my need
Remind you of friendship, get ready to bleed
Because I’ll give all to you, if broken you are
No challenge too great, no distance too far
I told you my friend, that you were my kin
So I’ll do what I must, commit any sin
Reach out no matter the cost
Just to guide you back home in case you are lost
So now as I sit here, rereading the words
That I might never tell you, for all that it hurts
I make a decision to try it again
To do something better, to be a true friend
And under my mind, I examine your mask
Preparing the questions I one day will ask
I don't usually put a note at the end of these, but this was a heavy one, so I thought I'd say something. Usually my poems are about the world, about nature, about thinking too much about little things. This one is not. This is about my life, about people, about things that matter too much to be said. I hope that anyone who reads it enjoys. I hope it means something to you. If it does, please let me know! If not, I hope at least the style wasn't too terrible for you to enjoy reading it. If anyone actually reads these, it means a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed.