The signs and texting
Fast texter: Gemini, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Virgo, Pisces
Slow texter: Cancer, Capricorn, Taurus, Scorpio, Libra
And then there's Aquarius...

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The signs and texting
Fast texter: Gemini, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Virgo, Pisces
Slow texter: Cancer, Capricorn, Taurus, Scorpio, Libra
And then there's Aquarius...
Wants vs. Needs of the signs in a relationship
Aries:
WANTS - Someone to show off. Someone who makes you feel passionate and excited all the time. A hot body, a nice face. Someone with smooth moves.
NEEDS - Someone patient and forgiving. Someone intelligent and witty. Someone you won't get bored of. Someone who won't run away when things get rough.
Taurus:
WANTS - A fixer-upper. Nicholas Sparks-type scenes. Lots of gifts. Undying attention. Someone who will agree with you and make you feel desirable and attractive.
NEEDS - Someone who shares your views. Someone who respects you. A healthy amount of attention and material gifts. Someone who knows they're good enough for you. Someone who knows you're good enough for them.
Gemini:
WANTS - A genius. A comedian. A hot mess. In other words, your twin flame.
NEEDS - Wisdom to balance out knowledge. Someone with impulse control. Someone forgiving and understanding. Ears to listen...for a while.
Cancer:
WANTS - A romance-novel character. Lots of hugs, gifts, and reassurance. Someone who won't hurt your feelings. Someone who knows exactly what you're thinking and what you want.
NEEDS - Someone to help you lighten up a little. Honesty. Security. Someone extraordinarily patient. Loyalty.
Leo:
WANTS - Someone to show off to your friends. Someone to make you more popular. Attention out the wazoo. An admirer, your biggest fan. Undying support in everything you do.
NEEDS - Someone wise and understanding. Someone you respect, and who respects you. Someone to be straight with you. Loyalty. Forgiveness. Someone who knows the value in the little gestures.
Virgo:
WANTS - Someone self-sustainable. Intelligence and common sense. Someone who can give you space. Someone who will listen to you and accept your criticism.
NEEDS - Someone to light up your life. Someone you never get bored of. A bit of mystery. Someone who knows who they are. Someone who appreciates all that you do.
Libra:
WANTS - Someone to be romantic with. That cute couple aesthetic. Attention. A pretty face and a brilliant mind.
NEEDS - A best friend. A mediator. Someone who won't take advantage of you. Someone you can really talk to.
Scorpio:
WANTS - Someone who adores you. Submission. Omnipresence in their life. Complete devotion. Control. Passion.
NEEDS - A mystery. Respect. A healthy amount of push-back. Someone you know you can trust. Someone you know who will not hurt you. Undying loyalty. Honesty.
Sagittarius:
WANTS - A travel buddy. A daredevil. Someone spunky and free. Someone "exotic", mysterious, foreign. Someone who isn't interested in textbook romance.
NEEDS - Someone who gets you. Someone with common sense. Someone who can forgive your little flubs. Independence. Consistency. Someone you could travel around the world with and not hate them afterwards.
Capricorn:
WANTS - Perfection. Loyalty. A mystery. A romance that doesn't get in the way of work. Someone like-minded and intelligent.
NEEDS - Someone to help you see the best side of things. Imagination and youth. Loyalty and respect. Someone who's okay with being dominated, but not a pushover.
Aquarius:
WANTS - A mad scientist. A genius. A poet. Someone to share your interests with. A best friend. Freedom.
NEEDS - Independence. Trust. Consistent communication. A best friend. A kind of intelligence you don't have.
Pisces:
WANTS - A fairy-tale romance. A tortured artist. Someone you want to "fix". Someone you view as "the underdog". Someone who's sensitive, artistic, and poetic. Someone who dazzles you.
NEEDS - Stability. Honesty. Patience. Someone who walk all over you. Someone who doesn't need you to fix them. Someone who will always wait for you to come back
The signs with children
Basically a second parent. They know what they're doing: Aries, Gemini, Capricorn
Stares at them hoping they don't cry or shit themselves: Pisces, Scorpio, Sagittarius
Children love you for some weird reason: Cancer, Aquarius, Virgo
Makes funny faces and does dumb shit to entertain them: Taurus, Leo, Libra
The signs finding out someone has a crush on them them
Aries: "Hahahahahahha....k"
Taurus: "Is this a joke?"
Gemini: "Let's make a baby!"
Cancer: !!!!!!
Leo: "Well, who wouldn't?"
Virgo: "This is awkward. Bye."
Libra: "How cute! Awww..."
Scorpio: "Oh god. Why? No."
Sagittarius: "Okay. Haha"
Capricorn: "Stop that"
Aquarius: "How do I respond to this situation?"
Pisces:"..... I like you too...I think."
The signs as "ex"s
The ex you just can't forget: Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius
The ex you can't help but stare at: Taurus, Leo, Libra, Virgo
The ex you suddenly remember while doing random things: Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius, Pisces
The signs when they stub their toe
Aries: "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT" *breaks down the door*
Taurus: "SHIT MAN!"
Gemini: "FIGHT ME YOU STUPID DOOR!"
Cancer: "FUCK" *sobs* "YOU" *sobbing intensifies*
Leo: Screams while lying face down on a bed
Virgo: "THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF I HAD BEEN WEARING SHOES"
Libra: "Goodbye cruel world"
Scorpio: *rips door off the hinges* "NO MORE."
Sagittarius: *hits the door* "STOP!"
Capricorn: *bites their fist* "No. I'm fine. I swear it's totally not broken"
Aquarius: "THAT DOOR WASN'T THERE BEFORE..."
Pisces: "BUT WHY ME?"
The signs' common expressions
Aries: focused with a half irked face
Taurus: in deep thought face
Gemini: smirk/cheeky face
Cancer: puppy face
Leo: a big bright smile
Virgo: an indifference/nonchalant face
Libra: a sweet flirty smile
Scorpio: a tough and strong face
Sagittarius: a sceptical smile
Capricorn: face of disapproval and seriousness
Aquarius: tired face
Pisces: confused and dreamy face
The signs as Zack or Cody
Zack: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Cody: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn, Pisces
The signs in "fuck ___"
fuck this: Aries, Cancer
fuck that: Aquarius
fuck me: Leo
fuck you: Scorpio
fuck yeah: Libra
fuck no: Taurus
fuck my life: Gemini, Pisces
fuck everything: Capricorn
fuck it: Sagittarius
fuck: Virgo
What the signs say when they're jealous
Aries: "Stop!!!"
Taurus: "You know you're mine, right?"
Gemini: "Hmmm...is that supposed to make me jealous?"
Cancer: "So he/she's better than me?"
Leo: "Keep it up...I can make you jealous too!"
Virgo: "I mean...I'm the best."
Libra: "Go be with her/him then."
Scorpio: "Have fun. I don't care."
Sagittarius: "Wait, what?!"
Capricorn: "I'm not feeling so good...I'll see you later."
Aquarius: *brings up shit from the past*
Pisces: "Honestly, just leave me alone."
The signs as "How I Met Your Mother" main characters
Ted: Virgo, Sagittarius
Barney: Gemini, Leo, Pisces
Lily: Taurus, Aquarius, Aries
Marshall: Cancer, Capricorn
Robin: Libra, Scorpio
The signs as Fall Out Boy songs
Aries: Sugar We're Goin' Down
Taurus: This Ain't A Scene, It's an Arms Race
Gemini: Thanks for the Memories
Cancer: Centuries
Leo: Young Volcanoes
Virgo: Alone Together
Libra: Irresistible
Scorpio: The Kids Aren't Alright
Sagittarius: Dance, Dance
Capricorn: Uma Thurman
Aquarius: What a Catch, Donnie
Pisces: 20 Dollar Nose Bleed
The signs' beautiful features
Aries: Cheekbones
Taurus: Doe eyes
Gemini: Youthfulness
Cancer: Emotive eyes
Leo: Mane of hair
Virgo: Gentle features
Libra: Dimpled cheeks/ cleft chin
Scorpio: Deep, intense eyes
Sagittarius: Glowing smiles
Capricorn: Bone structure
Aquarius: Handsome features
Pisces: Hypnotic eyes
The signs as Disney princesses
Aries: Jasmine - Aladdin
Taurus: Rapunzel - Tangled
Gemini: Tiana - The Princess and the Frog
Cancer: Cinderella
Leo: Mulan
Virgo: Belle - Beauty and the Beast
Libra: Snow White
Scorpio: Merida - Brave
Sagittarius: Ariel - Little Mermaid
Capricorn: Elsa - Frozen
Aquarius: Anna - Frozen
Pisces: Pocahontas
Expectation vs. Reality of the signs
Aries:
Expectation - stuck up.
Reality - down to earth.
Taurus:
Expectation - trustworthy.
Reality - has tons of blackmail willing to use against you
Gemini:
Expectation - shy in class
Reality - one of the loudest and most fun person you will ever meet
Cancer:
Expectation - bitch
Reality - really sweet and will cook for you
Leo:
Expectation - conceited and popular
Reality - insecure and hates most people
Virgo:
Expectation - overly critical of others
Reality - has no intention of hurting people and is just really honest
Libra:
Expectation - happiest person you will meet
Reality - really sad
Scorpio:
Expectation - really cool
Reality - cool but a little awkward
Sagittarius:
Expectation - unsympathetic
Reality - cares a WHOLE LOT although they may not show it
Capricorn:
Expectation - way too serious
Reality - super crazy once you get to know them
Aquarius:
Expectation - difficult at maintaining friendships
Reality - the other person's fault the relationship ended
Pisces:
Expectation - super shy and sweet
Reality - will turn into a fucking ape if needed
The signs as contradictions
scary but cute: Scorpio, Cancer, Aries
nice but rude: Leo, Libra, Gemini
blunt but shady: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Scorpio
weird but cool: Virgo, Pisces, Capricorn
confident but insecure: Gemini, Leo, Capricorn
friendly but shy: Taurus, Virgo, Cancer
awkward but smooth: Leo, Aquarius, Aries
honest but reserved: Scorpio, Libra, Pisces
angry but chill: Aries, Libra, Cancer
hot but dorky: Gemini, Aquarius, Capricorn
wild but calm: Sagittarius, Taurus, Pisces
stubborn but easy-going: Taurus, Virgo, Sagittarius
The signs as types of drunk
Happy drunk: Taurus, Pisces
Flirty drunk: Virgo, Leo, Libra
Angry drunk: Aries, Scorpio
Funny drunk: Sagittarius, Aquarius
Emotional drunk: Capricorn, Cancer
Is so drunk that they get left in the bushes because no one noticed: Gemini