gay

she/he/they @slytherin-sluts is my main this is now a teen wolf spam account i’m so sorry. and i apologise for the person i’m gonna become when this fucking movie comes out

[thehotmilfnearyou]

i do not have the cognitive ability to be aware of other people. it’s so wild to me that the world exists far beyond what’s in my presence. like i just got whiplash realising that i have random family in america who’re probably doing their own thing rn

[suncaptor]

my rankings of people who SHOULD have been the ruler of hell:

Sam Winchester. he should have changed what Hell meant and used his broken crown to fix the fucked up systems at hand with a determination that torture and punishment is only more destruction. go lawboyking go.

literally any psychic kid. I don't even know if I can rank them. feels evil to try.

Bela Talbot. she's the best choice. but specifically because I like her.

Anna Milton. good morality, willing to go against brainwashing frameworks, believes demons are not at fault for giving into the processes of Hell, has leadership experience, and is already a fallen angel who would probably love to reconstruct the universe better.

Jessica Moore. I just like when Jess is a demon okay??

Crowley. he deserves a good spot he was the best ruler he tried to fix things. he just wasn't great at it. oust him etc.

Kevin Tran. I don't have any reasoning for this I just think he deserves it if he wants it. if he doesn't then too bad. I don't care if you need a ruler whatever Kevin wants Kevin GETS.

Linda Tran. would be ranked higher but I don't think she'd like it. but ranked here because I think she'd deserve it after Crowley and all you know?

Gadreel. I think he very specifically gets the harm of punitive systems and would want to fix it. I think he could be good at this position and all but also if either of the Trans exist then they shouldn't have to see Gadreel as the ruler of hell after Crowley so. sorry.

Ash. he's just very smart and already was finding ways to improve Heaven. why not give him a crack at hell you know? but I also think he doesn't need that weight on him. he'd thrive elsewhere.

[ohyeah]

Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence

[divorcedcastiel]

[thehotmilfnearyou]

i will never get tired of these

[visit-ba-sing-se]

attempt at an reblog game that I think would be fun: tell me where you are from in the tags but only by how your place is displayed in hollywood movies 

[divorcedcastiel]

my favorite thing to do with guys is put them in a bowl

[cidnangarlond]

reblog for a soup blessing in 2022

[thehotmilfnearyou]

i’m going a bit batshit insane at the fact that spnamvarchives is now a blocked tag on tumblr

what does tumblr have against supernatural videos. what have the edits consisted of that tumblr didn’t agree with. tumblr if you’re a destiel anti just say that

[outtacore]

LISTEN ... I may be reaching but ...

andrew's spider-man saying that he wants to fight an alien just like the others two, being called "peter 3" and tom hardy's eddie brock without a spider-man yet ...

[thehotmilfnearyou]

YES IVE BEEN WONDERING THIS- bc eddie was brought to the universe, meaning somehow he has to have a spiderman and know that they’re peter parker right?? the fact that he apparently knows spiderman’s identity is puzzling (unless it’s related to tobey’s venom) and i an praying that eddie’s spideman is andrew and that’s the plot of tasm3

[thehotmilfnearyou]

respectfully, i want to use andrew garfield’s face as a throne

[thehotmilfnearyou]

~NWH SPOILERS~

i love how andrew and tobey was the worst kept secret ever, and yet i was still surprised

like the lizard getting punched in the trailer by nothing but it actually being one of the other Peter’s, and it’s so fucking funny that that’s part of what gave it away

also off topic i’m just a little upset that peter never got a chance to explain to the other two what the avengers are

[thehotmilfnearyou]

NO WAY HOME THOUGHTS (SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT, DONT GO FURTHER THAN THAT IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT)

1. holy fuck that broke me- like actually broke me that was so overwhelming

2. might be one of my favourite mcu movies so far

3. i was uncontrollably sobbing and happy weeping at the same time

4. and i kept rapidly switching between them, it gave me fucking whiplash

5. honestly overall a really good movie, the plot and writing was really good, the fan service was just right, and you can tell that the actors gave it their all

6. i don’t really have any more thoughts that aren’t spoilers

~SPOILERS FURTHER ON~

7. MAYS DEATH WHAT THE FUCK

8. i expected someone to die, but not may holy fuck- but that’s probably how they wanted it, may didn’t have that much of a presence in the other movies so it was a really smart to kill her off, i don’t think anyone really expected it- plus it was the perfect drive for peter to want revenge

9. ANDREW AND TOBEY ANDREW AND TOBEY

10. andrew is incredible, he’s the loml and my favourite actor in general, so seeing him on screen made me full on happy cry

11. andrew’s spiderman was as perfect as ever, it was so sad hearing his lines half the time tho cause you could tell he was still so depressed and that broke me

12. also andrew gave it his all, he was def so happy to be back as spiderman and i love that for him

13. tobey!! ngl i’ve never cared for tobey’s peter that much, not like it was bad or anything, it’s just that i didn’t really like it as much as andrew or tom’s- but he was so so good in this and i got insanely happy seeing him

14. also i was expecting to despise doc oc?? bro i loved him, he switched up so quick i wish we saw more of him- and that scene where he was like “it’s so good to see you my boy” or whatever the line was?? i was sobbing that was exactly what i needed

15. i was not in any way seeing the “everyone forgets peter” thing coming- holy fuck i sobbed.

16. what i do love about it tho, is that it’s a great segway into new spiderman college movies (so is the venom post credit scene btw) but i’m still not sure if what i heard about tom’s contract being renewed is true or not?? i’ll find out

17. if it is true tho, i would love to see ned, mj and maybe even happy? get their memories back, or at least know peter again, and i’d also love to see venom cause that’s probably coming, and i’d love to see peter pass the spiderman mantle down to miles (cause electro hinted at that so they’d be stupid not to)

18. ALSO THE “i love you guys” MY HEART I LOVE ANDREW SO MUCH

19. that hug scene?? i am shattered. a puddle of tears is all i am and all i ever will be.

20. i just wanna talk more about andrew, his first scene was so iconic, that little “how do i prove i’m peter parker” bit?? it was so sweet i would lay my life on the line for that man

21. THE SWINGING SCENE THE SWINGING SCENE!!! actually the best thing i will ever watch there was so much happiness ingrained in that little scene

22. there’s so much more i wanna say but this is far too long as it is- anyway, one of the best things i’ve ever seen

[thehotmilfnearyou]

just finished the all too well short film- so, so many thoughts

1) the cinematography i literslly can’t breathe, those and shots and colours and lighting were perfect i am on the floor

2) FUCK JAKE GYLLENHAAL

3) i could absolutely never hate dylan in my life, but for a split second watching that fighting scene, i did

4) the casting was absolutely perfect sadie and dylan were incredible choices and did it so well

5) watching this + seeing the people in jake’s instagram comments makes me realise that everything jake is getting right now, is going to be amplified tenfold towards john mayer when speak now comes out, and i cannot wait

6) say it with me now: fuck jake gyllenhaal

[thehotmilfnearyou]

i will always make fun of people who genuinely believe they could change men like fucking anakin or draco- but if you catch me being 100% convinced that i could change azula from atla… mind your own business

[thehotmilfnearyou]

the heart attack i had when i saw taylor swift’s instagram- my favourite actor?? starring in a short film about one of my favourite songs by my favourite singer??? it’s more likely than you think

seriously tho fucking kill me dylan and taylor are gonna solve all my problems

[thehotmilfnearyou]

listen… i just think it’s very objectively funny that the colours for dnf, destiel, and larry are all blue and green

[teaboot]

God I fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, I like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman

[normalbeast-downformaintenance]

holy shit you’re not wrong

[justpretendivedeletedthisaccount]

I'd feel better about this whole rant if Olaf weren't queer-coded. It might be largely the voice acting – the lisp, the inflection especially – but he's got massive "harmless gay sidekick" vibes. And if you're actively critiquing that? Sure, great, go all out. Hate whom you will. Say whatever you want about how "gay" is equated with "harmless silly sidekick used for comic relief, with no serious bearing on the plot, literally inhuman and treated by Serious Human Characters as... well,a sidekick, peripheral to your life and safe to ignore.

But if you're not engaging critically with that aspect of his character and are just overwhelmed with hatred whenever you see or hear or think about the queer-coded character and his mannerisms make you feel violent, that is a little bit. Uncomfortable. At best.

[teaboot]

what on God's green earth are you talking about

[fuck-your-pity-party]

See sometimes I wonder why I’m still on this website, and then posts like this come along. Amazing. 

[ailment-remade-deactivated20210]

me reading this post like

[wizard0rb]

gonna show this post to the character designer who made olaf

[thehotmilfnearyou]

this is the funniest i’ve ever seen in my life