austere @theinkpixie - Tumblr Blog

man i miss the freedom of 2013 tumblr. people used to make up stories about everything and anything. remember how popular fandom bloggers would say they saw an “aesthetic blogger” in public and they got into a fight? or that they had a substitute teacher with a sonic screwdriver get into witty banter with the op and confess love on the spot before running out of the classroom never to be seen again? like, can you imagine if any of this stuff happened irl? if someone ran up to me while i’m vibin in a starbucks and hissed “poetry blog” at me i’d be so completely decimated by the correct analysis that i would be thanos snapped into nothingness. nevermind the idea of showing up 15 minutes late to a class and the substitute teacher was apparently never employed by the school and in fact sprinted out of the building before getting caught. i love this shit. it’s so wonderfully fictive and so effortlessly self-indulgent i live for it unironically bc why cringe about it!! people love to imagine themselves in better situations, and that’s how creativity flourishes. i know you, reading this, have imagined yourself the romantic hero or the tragic savior or lottery winner or whatever else - at least once. and that’s really wonderful and beautiful and you should imagine these things. you are the romantic hero. i love you already. allons-y.

fantodsdhrit

let the fire be white, let—

it be that way, so that i

cannot hear you go up-

stairs, your bones, your

doppelganger: you were

sculpted in premonitory

silence, i couldn't be the

sculptor, like sakuras in

water; i made an origami

crane for you, it didn't fly.

teacup13-deactivated20200319

some hearts hear you

deeper than these words,

yet I still press my tongue

into scars I want to know,

I’ve got never in one hand

& someday in the other, but

they weigh the same, I’m still

in love with what we used to be

& though I need you closer,

closer than my own heartbeat,

these days without you are

becoming longer

30-minute-memes

maybe-itdoesntmatterr-deactivat

facts

ridleydaisy

geographyofrobots

stripmall pine [IG] [twitter]

lvnnsi

stephenstilwell-deactivated2021

“There are two stars in my universe: the sun and you.”

— s.s. (stephenstilwell)

rnegitsune

smol babymetal on their giant rotating tokyo dome stage

rnegitsune

su being babby 🥰 (for anon)

inkskinned

recently i can’t enjoy things because i feel like i am living under that big ticking capitalist clock. if it’s the weekend, it’s only the weekend for so long. this movie costs two hours of work. this vacation needs to be packed with everything possible because i only get the one. i am exhausted from being sick but i took my sick time up, guess i just allow myself to be rundown and call it good enough.

good things are broken now. the “countdown to christmas” blares over the store radio so often that even the songs i love set my teeth on edge. i get another email saying that if i want my loved ones to actually love me, i need to put a downpayment asap. my phone starts dying right around the new edition’s opening. the books i used to read are on their 26th series when there’s no longer a good story.

nothing is sacred. remakes and new seasons and extended universes, none of which are done for the love of the original - just to fill dead lungs with rot and call that breathing. i can’t even waste my time zoning out; i am calculating how soon i need to go to sleep so i can wake up so i can get back to working. if i work two shifts i can afford a yearly subscription to the things that used to make me feel accepted, or i can afford to one time see a clinician for the very real problems i have that i have been ignoring. (can’t go to a doctor, they’re only there for business hours, and the medication will be ordered out of network, im sure).

there’s nothing left to suck out of me, but they always find a way to suck something new out of me, and then act surprised when i answer with defeat. kids these days are so jaded, angry. kids these days have given up the idea they can ever find work that makes them happy.

i’m trying to be optimistic. but optimism is now only available via a pay to play streaming service.