now that I own a kilt, the struggle is not wearing it everywhere.
Claire Keane
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@thelibrariansoftimeandspace
now that I own a kilt, the struggle is not wearing it everywhere.
I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔
Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep
Uh oh
Is what she said when I immediately reached for my phone and opened Tumblr instead of responding
@everything-you-feel-is-real I know by tumblr tradition that I'm to say "impossible, my posts never blow up like that," or "please don't do this to me."
But I feel in my bones that you are right. If this is to be my wife's moment of glory, I am willing to suffer notification overload, that the world may know she is funny. #MyFunnyWife
[loud] shimp
*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas
if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people
he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women
If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."
I realize this is an animal crossing meme but as an astrophysicist I was really excited for a second that someone was finally seeing the light on how fricking difficult and a huge waste of time it would be to try to terraform Mars
2025 stats:
0 dubai chocolate ingested
0 labubus bought
0 episodes of stranger things watched
mutuals this winter we are all doing this
How many people’s most beloved childhood stuffed animals are actually teddy bears, like I feel like that’s a thing someone made up. Reblog this and put what your longest owned and/or favorite stuffed animal as a child was in the tags, inquiring minds want to know
same this shit rocks
this is genuinely one of my favorite videos
Take one home. You could name it Herb!
i am some sort of fey creature and my cat is the human who i have arbitrarily decided is my favorite human.
i live, to him, an unfathomably long life
i have access to powers and locations that he cannot access independently; he needs my help to navigate the world i've brought him to
i simply found him outside and abducted him one day
there are many cats in the world, but this one is the best and my most favorite. why? because he was available to abduct that morning and for very little other reason.
i have a much greater understanding of this world than him, but he has unshakable confidence in his ability to figure it out and i find that really cute
the power dynamic is fundamentally unbalanced, but i let him have a little audacity. a little combativeness and sass. as a treat.
some humans are needlessly cruel to cats or take them in for a short time before neglecting or abandoning them. but i have chosen to love and guard this one with my life. because i think he's neat.
he is very well-treated and has pretty much everything he could possibly want or need, but he is my prisoner.
You feed him food found nowhere in nature, but that tastes reminiscent of things he could eat- birds and mammals.
You could give him divine treats at any time that taste so much better than food it might drive him a little mad wanting more. You do not give them to him on any schedule he can discern.
You can lay a dry powder on the ground which causes him to lose his mind a little and behave differently for a short time should he inhale any of it. Sometimes this is inside of his entertainment for the day, and he becomes your entertainment.
You create illusions on flat surfaces that look like prey or other things, illusions that move and sound like they are real and yet when he touches them he finds only cold, flat walls.
You give him prey he cannot eat, prey that are bright colors and make strange sounds and may look nothing like real prey and yet he is enticed to chase and kill, especially the small, uncatchable red dot.
You sleep in a nest of impossibly soft material, and allow him to share this space to sleep beside you, and even to sleep there when you are gone.
Sometimes you disappear and he can find no way to follow or escape in your absence. You create and destroy openings in solid walls at your convenience.
You speak a language he cannot understand, and sometimes you say garbled words in the language of his children, and so he speaks back to you like a mother does a child in the hopes you will understand him and sometimes you seem to.
People still tend to lump JK Rowling in with the category of ~problematic artists~ and I need everyone to understand that is not the problem with her. She is not comparable to anyone who wrote a piece of fiction you hate, or someone who made rude comments in 2015 and has since learned better.
She is far more like Elon Musk. She is a radicalized person with an extreme amount of social and financial power, and for YEARS she has been using that power to try to influence her government into hurting vulnerable people, on purpose. And she has succeeded. THAT is the problem with her, and THAT is why spending money on her books is so dangerous, not because her books aged badly.
Critiquing her work is fine, of course (I personally was never a fan so I really don’t care) but you NEED to understand that fiction is not the main issue here. And I truly think acting like she’s the same as the rest of any giant list of ~problematic creators of the week~ waters down how dangerous she is.
My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.
What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"
"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.
I hope this is a universal cat owner experience. Every single night he begs me to turn the sun back on so he can watch birds on the balcony. I tell him no, I cannot do that.
But I can turn lights on and off in the house and he's fairly certain I'm just not applying myself properly here.
You know damn well that can't just stay in the tags
I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters
In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels