a liar like all elves and men

A garbage blog for a garbage person (I may draw like a 6 year old but actually Old As Balls). Original fiction, fanfic and shitposting, mostly about elves.

[danielkanhai]

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

[chiropteracupola]

I know we compare sewing machines to horses a lot due to the general tendency to spook at nothing and break their legs, but imagine if you had to clean lint out of tiny crevices inside a horse. it could really be so much worse.

[chiropteracupola]

people who are more horsified than me are no longer invited to weigh in on things that you have to clean off of or out of horses.

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[maightymai]

[cipheramnesia]

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

[probuccalfat]

avoidance is lowkey funny because it’s like i don’t want love on the off chance that it gets taken away from me and then i have to become john wick or something

[probuccalfat]

we’re all on the only social media that matters and this is why.

[highlandvalley]

<8番出口> 「歩く男」撮影ビハインド

セットの裏側で自転車に乗って移動した後、再び登場 https://x.com/uahan2/status/2046741264708812914

[turochamp]

dreamt that i went to a car dealership and Light Yagami and L were there and I saw L first so I went "woah are you L death note?" and L went "L what?" and light went " L WHAT."

[uglygirlstatus]

sorry I had to draw this

[animentality]

[achievement-hunter]

[textandimageenjoyer]

[json-derulo]

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

[idowhatiwantspock]

King of Drag s1e2 Perka $exxx as Steve Urkel/Sonic the Hedgehog

[tainaronian]

[worldsandemanations]

Gizem Akdag

[notkatniss]

one of my favorite Anne rice facebook posts I’ve seen floating around that I’ve never fact checked bc I don’t care and it’s funny is the one where she’s like I don’t like Gabrielle she was mean to lestat. As if she had nothing to do with it

[notkatniss]

[greeds]

[minecraft]

[canoncanidae]

[baronofshadows1684]

Any vampire made after 1500 can't be normal about anything, all they know is divorce, hallucinate they boyfriend, crash out, be bisexual, eat hot person, and lie

[segamascott]

guys i have an idea for a movie it's about a musician ☺️ and it's a biopic 🤩 and it tells their story 🧐 because even though they were famous 🥳 they also had some struggles 😔 but also some good moments too 😊 don't you want to come relive their wikipedia page 🤗

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[rolameny]

the word for world is forest? no it isn't. it's pretty clearly world. another blunder from ursula