some musings by the_ber...

"i feel adventurous.there are so many doors to be opened & i'm not afraid to look behind them"_elizabeth taylor

[thelittleber]

"Some people are worth melting for" - Olaf ❄ #ambscanthefirstyear #ChristmasLights #VeniceCanals #Frozen (at Venice Canal Historic District)

[thelittleber]

#NationalDonutDay 🍩 Three donut shops with no donuts, a bowling alley pit stop and a tour deep in K-town, @chaoskin77 found a donut shop that still had those sugary delicious rings... 🍩 #YumYum 🍩 #AdventuresWithAmbscan #MyFutureHusbandIsTheBest (at Yum Yum Donuts)

[thelittleber]

#ambscan takes on #SanFran 💙🌉 (at Golden Gate Bridge)

[thelittleber]

Love you more than all the stars in the sky ✨ It was such a wonderful visit. My heart is filled with so much happiness and love. I am the luckiest girl in the universe. (at Griffith Observatory)

[thelittleber]

Two.

I remember the sick feeling. I thought at first it was the battle of the leftover wine in my system but all of sudden it changed to an everyday grossness that invaded my body. Every make up of my being felt taken over and invaded. Every minute that ticked by the sickness settled deeper into my body, until everything and nothing felt the same. It was every day- morning, noon and night, no time of day was safe. There were solitary moments that saved me from my self and everything felt fine again but as soon as those moments came, they passed and I was rushed back in malady of what was now "everyday". Loneliness struck hard. And the poetic melody of songs of my past reverbed in my head, "...now that I found someone/I'm feeling more alone/then I ever have before..." I wasn't truly alone but the loneliness enveloped my heart and spread from there. The loneliness really felt like a physical pain. How could everyone love me, when I no longer loved myself? I was reminded every moment of every day, just how terrible of a person I am. Nobody truly knew how to deal with me, with the situation, with life. Days were melting into weeks and a change needed to happen. Sleeping was all I wanted, it saved me, even if it was just for moments. Sleep masked this life that was slipping away. And just as quick as things happened, it went away. On a Tuesday night, I died inside. Wednesday was a battle and then just like after a terrible storm, the sun started peeking through on Thursday morning. And with the sun, came a plate of bacon from Griddle, and sitting across from my cousin in a red vinyl booth I knew this was the first step in my new life. And now I live with the scars but that old life is gone...

[thelittleber]

We carved pumpkins 🎃 #Ambscan #PumpkinKing #PumkinQueen #ThisIsHalloween #HalloweenTime

[thelittleber]

I knew 2015 was going to be a big year. From the new job where I am so happy to be apart of the company I am, to a new relationship that I truly feel like I found "my person", and finally to my big move. It's with a grateful heart I say good bye to my flat on Cherokee. A lot of "stuff", good and bad, happy and sad, insane and mundane went down there and now it's time for my next step, this new chapter. It's with a full heart, I can say I am ready to move on with the help from the good people in my life and I can't wait to see what this next chapter unfolds. 💕🏤✌🏼 #movingday #HollyBer #Hollywood #CaliforniaLiving #NewMe #MindBodySoul #2015 #bigchanges (at .ber's OLD flat)

[thelittleber]

Saturdays filled with ʝσу ✨🎠🍦 #thingsilove #iscream #youscream #icecream #merrygoround #sodajerk (at Santa Monica Pier Carousel)

[thelittleber]

After seven years, you would think I've gotten used to leaving CT and it wouldn't be as hard as it is. Every time I leave, my family, my friends, my home, it's a bigger reminder of what I'm missing when I'm on the West Coast. Maybe one day this get easier, or maybe one day... #leavinghome #headedwest #byeeastcoast #LosAngelesMissesMe #EastCoastBorn #WestCoastRaised #hurt (at Bye East Coast )

[thelittleber]

Farewell 2014, you've been a trip. This year has been a hell of one, and I feel like it's just been a stepping stone to 2015. I've closed many chapters this year, with a grateful heart from what I've learned from them. Started new ones with an open mind. I'm very excited for this new journey, this new year. I wish you all the best for the new year. ✨ #newyearresolutions #newyear #2015 #bye2014 #happiness

[thelittleber]

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you,and all the things you do" ✨🌆✨ #losangeles #downtown #myheart #mycrush #wcw #citylights #citylove (at Downtown El Lay)

[thelittleber]

H e l l o T w e n t y S i x ✨ #birthdaygirl #ItsOfficiallyMyBirthday #TwentySix #iWokeUpLikeThis #hello

[thelittleber]

💀❤️Love Me Dead❤️💀 #LAHH #LosAngelesHauntedHayride2014 #guillotine #LoveMeDead #MarieAntoinette #DeathRow (at Old L.A. Zoo)

[thelittleber]

I've never been to a book signing so it's fitting for my first book signing to be for Joe Perry's Rocks. I used to fall asleep with Joe ('s photo) above my bed 😍❤️ this little girl is beyond thrilled. #DreamOn #JoePerry #Rocks #Aerosmith #firstlove (at Barnes & Noble Events, The Grove)

[thelittleber]

The history nerd in me decided to do something educational & fun, so I'm spending the day at the Richard Nixon library. 🇺🇸📚 #richardnixon #37thPresident #america #museumlife #AdventuresWithAmber (at Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum)

[thelittleber]

#MyView - Still not completely myself but nothing a little September Issue & Maltese Falcon can't fix. #mysaturday #vogue #septemberissue #theinstagirls #maltesefalcon (at ber's flat. )

[thelittleber]

So the day has finally come where I lose my voice and decide to record "Godfather" sound bites for all to enjoy my laryngitis... Now for lots of bed, chicken soup and old movies... 🔫 #thegodfather #laryngitis #ForRealMyVoiceIsGone #ImSick