Been thinking about the basis of my Module C work for the HSC, & I am proud enough to share it. It, like many of my pieces, is discursive, & deals with themes of bullying, isolation, depression & struggle, but also how through suffering with these struggles with others, a bond forms, & connection. Was inspired by a conversation I had with one of my friends after a major incident with our entire year group. It'll be below the cut, & might reblog my reflection later.
Is it all really worth the effort?
Worth the stress? Worth the worry? Worth the pain? When push comes to shove, will the effort be
worth it all?
Sometimes isolation feels more comforting than human presence. The choice is & isn’t my own, but there is
comfort in isolation when you are isolated with others. Shunned together.
There is peace, when you look up. Stars twinkling above as the fire sinks its claws into the wood in the pit,
crackling away as embers join the stars. It’s easier, together, to look up, point at the stars, see the constellations & create new ones, to be at peace, away from the cruel hands of humanity. Distraction from
those who treat you poorly, distraction from your own mind. True peace, when alone together, isolated but
not from each other.
Sometimes I wonder if others ever achieve true peace. Does the pain they inflict truly make them happy? Is
the suffering they cause truly worth the effort? I feel sorry for them. Must be so isolating, putting others
down with little to gain, & worrying that they may be put down next if they don’t move first. Do they feel
true comfort among others, or is it fear? I pity them, despite the suffering they cause. The isolation they
bring, but without them, would we be together with those we love most? We would have never have had to
protect one another, stand up for each other, & feel safe among ourselves without the isolation we have been
forced to endure, together.
Being together brings so much joy, when you have full trust in each other, knowledge that you are safe to
share anything & everything with those you consider family. Understanding that even your darkest thoughts
can be voiced & not judged, instead spoken about & no longer left to be bottled. Tearing apart that which
has made us suffer, & replacing it with love so bone-deep that the human body can not express. Only joy
that encapsulates the soul, & consumes everyone in peace.
Do they feel this love? One that makes you tear up just thinking about those closest to you? Their actions
make them horrible, but is love strong enough to change them? People change, you have changed, I have
changed, so there is hope, but how much more do we all have to suffer through to get to the good? How
long until the exhaustion consumes us?
But we have those around us, isolated together, night growing cold, but love keeping us warm. The fire flickers, continues burning, & our love is an eternal flame, consuming but not destroying. I look to the fire,
faces around me, at peace, happy, smiles lit by both internal & external flames, & there is no place I would
rather be, than with them. The exhaustion lingers, suffering in our memories, recollections of torment &
bullying, but it doesn’t matter here, middle of nowhere, tents around us, flame between us, marshmallows &
sticks in our hands, & it makes me wonder.
Do they get to feel this love? Those who shun us, isolate us, do they feel happy? Are they truly peaceful?
The pain, suffering & torment they have put us all through, continue to put us all through…
Is it all really worth the effort?
