[revolutions-moved-deactivated20]

me at 9 pm: got a big day tomorrow. better hit the hay 

me at 2 am: 

[bey]

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed

[bana05]

This is legit and people don’t realize it.

[noahwyles]

“hey what are you doing?” “nothing”  “oh great! so you are avaliab-” “no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.” 

[embyrr922]

I’m doing nothing. Actively. It’s important.

[alexander]

Me: Is sitting in my bedroom pretending I don’t exist

Them: 

[onlytwitterpics]

[make--it--gayer]

[so-pale-girl]

[bunney]

“maybe you wouldnt be so tired if you went to bed earl-”

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

ladies…stan yourself

[vivecguccibelt]

[firesuperstar]

Teacher: hey read 2 of these 20 page articles that literally couldnt be more boring before class :)

Everyone in class the next day when he asks a question pertaining to the articles

[youareinloves]

[lubricates]

me before showering: i don’t want to shower

me once in the shower: i live here now

[lubricates]

person: you're pretty cool!

me: oh my god prepare to be very disappointed

[memesandlaughs]

[pyronoid-d-deactivated20181217]

This is, without hyperbole, the most cosmically huge dick energy ever

[chongoblog]

Any living person: “Let’s go to the beach!”

Me:

[lizziemcganja-deactivated201410]

friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay

me:

[thecommonchick]

plot twist: you are everyone's first choice.