99 AKI Nightmare Fuel

Contains no ethanol

[themadcrytter]

So I am finally playing Baldur's Gate 3. Now, I've been working on this character for years called Zerak. He's a dark elf warlock.

Now, even though I have played for hours, I keep taking mulligans and starting over. I'm at the part where we are about to make the first camp, and I still regret failing one save earlier. That failed save fuels this. As I have been playing...

In-character, out loud, I keeping bitching at and laughing at the critical misses of the wizard out of professional rivalry and an inferiority complex that I had to make a pact while this guy studied.

My wife can only laugh as new layers of my insanity unfold. Even after these years. There's still layers.

[themadcrytter]

U.S.-Born Citizen Detained Under ICE Hold Despite Birth Certificate

Juan Carlos Lopez Gomez is in jail despite a judge seeing his birth certificate. Welcome to Trump’s America.

[discount-supervillain]

[redavexat]

[honeydewcorporation]

Tried to figure out how I've been running these things and I came up with this

[sephirthoughts]

SO MUCH THIS. it drives me up a fucking WALL when people call male witches wizards

[raccoonskoodilypoopdungeon]

my take on this

[themadcrytter]

For years I have grappled with what D&D class is me.

I am a math major.

I am a wizard.

[themadcrytter]

[themadcrytter]

If you listen to a Jon Bon Jovi record backwards, you'll hear a message to bow before our future AI overlords. Jon Bon Jovi has already sold us out.

[themadcrytter]

When to Nope Out

I was watching youtube videos. I was trying out a channel. As soon as he blamed a part of a film’s failure on wokeness I noped out of his video.

[doctorrwby]

[kindofapieceofshit]

absofuckinlutely not

[hamletteprinceofdenmark]

You’re just continuing a long line of retail tradition babey

[whyactlikeahuman]

[todays-problematic-ship]

"Why did the previous person who filled this role leave?"

[thestarsjustdontalign]

[siphersaysstuff]

"There's an opening" was the exact problem

[themadcrytter]

This, I find this funny because its not joking about the deaths but the accident itself without being mean spirited.

[themadcrytter]

I Used To Be A Republican

I am white cis-gender male with a Pentecostal background from South Carolina. Now, out of love of my mother I will refrain from talking about that denomination, other than to assure the reader that we all thought snake handling was idiotic at worse, blasphemy at best (Matthew 4:7). Anyway, as such, I was raised to be a Republican with strong libertarian leanings.

Over half my life I’ve had to watch the party I was told were “the good guys” sacrifice more and more of its soul. The utter disregard it has for humanity that does not align with their beliefs 100% disgusts me, especially with a church background that stressed love and forgiveness. I’ve abandoned both over the years, but my morality is grounded in the sermon of the mount.

You know, don’t hate your enemies. Help them. Forgive. Be giving.  How we treat others is a true expression of your faith. 

Then there’s the ugly truth of the Civil War. Jim Crow. The Southern Strategy. A legacy that my home continues while in deep denial over it.

That’s where my disgust for the current GOP comes from. Because I used to nod and agree, and now I see them drip nothing but venom for outsiders. 

And... it makes me sad. And angry.

[tashayarr]

Q's costumes requested by anonymous

[thecholma]

John de Lancie as “Q” is one of the best things (among of ton of good things) about Star Trek: The Next Generation.

[themadcrytter]

He also voices Discord on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, who is basically... Q.

[toastbutteregg]

youre lying if you claim youve never done this

[themadcrytter]

Every damn night.

[dudekpob]

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

My favourite math fact is that 0.9999999.. is equal to 1. Exactly. Not approximately. Not as a rounded number. 0.9999 (recurring) is exactly 1.

[transsexual-dandelions]

Question. How the fuck does that work?

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

I tried explaining it here:

[secondaristh]

Here’s another perspective on why .999... repeating is exactly equal to 1.

For any two distinct real numbers, we can always find a rational number strictly between them, i.e. that rational number must be able to be expressed as a terminating decimal or a repeating decimal.  To be clear, that rational number is strictly between the two values; it is not allowed to be equal to either.

Suppose k is a rational number strictly between 1 and 0.9999....  If this is possible, then, I can write k exactly as either a decimal with finite digits, or I can write k as a repeating decimal.  The problem is, there are no decimals with finite digits between 1 and 0.999... , and there is no way to write a repeating decimal that is greater than 0.999... and still less than 1.  Either way, a k strictly between 1 and 0.999... does not exist.  The only way this can be true is if those two numbers are not actually distinct.  That is to say, 1 = 0.999.....

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i truly appreciate how math seems like it’s this infallible always-true only-one-answer thing, when in reality math is just like:

[tinypocketcats]

@themadcrytter

[themadcrytter]

0.333 repeating + 0.666 repeating = 0.999 repeating

1/3 = 0.333 repeating

2/3 = 0.666 repeating

0.333 repeating + 0.666 repeating = 1/3 + 2/3 = 1

[bigskydreaming]

In Bruce’s defense, anyone who blames him for putting his children in the line of fire does not like…get his children.

Bruce adopting and training these kids is absolutely the only thing standing between them and even EARLIER deaths than the ones in canon that they all basically just…refuse to let stick.

Like, these are six incredibly determined little dumbasses.

Dick Grayson: breaks out of juvie and runs around rooftops tracking down the mob boss that ordered his parents killed in order to ruthlessly avenge them when he’s EIGHT.

Jason Todd: at age twelve, is caught stealing the tires off the goddamn BATMOBILE and upon being caught, his first instinct is NOT flight, its HIT THE GODDAMN BATMAN WITH HIS TIRE IRON.

Tim Drake: as early as age ten, spends his free time running around Gotham’s rooftops and back alleys stalking Batman and Robin with his clunky camera and absolutely no prior experience or training in either acrobatics or surviving Gotham’s back alleys.

Cassandra Cain: Upon learning Lady Shiva is her mother, ignores Batman yelling CASSANDRA NO and tracks down the most lethal and feared woman on the planet and bullies her into training her further, with Shiva going okay but then we gotta battle to the death and Cassandra going sure, makes sense, when do we start.

Damian Wayne: Early in life, is ordered to hunt and fight a bunch of dragon-type creatures. Adopts one as his pet. Finally meets his father, who does not trust him. Steals the Batmobile. Is fired from Robin and forbidden to leave the Manor for his protection while there’s a hit on his life. Calls himself Redbird and resumes Robin duties, citing that he was only forbidden from leaving as ROBIN, specifically. Is sent home during an attack on the city by a zombie army. Turns around and wades into the zombie army on his own. Etc, etc.

Duke Thomas: At age ten, the Riddler shuts down all the power in Gotham and says he’ll only restore it if bested with a riddle. Duke hears this and decides, this is a job for…Duke Thomas. Around age fifteen, he’s put in the foster system after his parents are affected by the Joker’s mind-altering gas during an attack, hears that some of the Joker’s victims have been found wandering around the sewer system that’s noted for being home to like….a cannibalistic crocodile villain, among other things, thinks well, guess I gotta go personally cover every inch of Gotham’s sewers on my own, by foot. Accidentally stumbles across a plot to bomb all of Gotham and decides, this is a job for…Duke Thomas. Etc, etc.

In summation, the Batkids’ shared family trait is Absolute Dumbassery and a Willful Disregard for Self-Preservation, and no, they do not accept constructive criticism. Bruce’s training them all as his partners was 40% fatalism, 60% Hail Mary. 

He actually tried getting Dick to choose colors for his costume that would actually blend into the shadows, and eight year old Dick went nah, I’m gonna stick with bright red, yellow and green, thanks though. 

He actually tried teaching Jason Todd how to prioritize speed and evasion against bigger opponents, and 5′4″ Jason Todd went nah, I’m just gonna punch ‘em, thanks though. 

He actually tried sending Tim home when Tim first showed up, and Tim went nah, I’m just not gonna do that, thanks though. 

He actually tried getting Cassandra to be more careful and selective about inserting herself into every single dangerous situation she came across, and Cass went, sorry, lost my phone when I weaponized it against the bad guys and also I’m in Hong Kong right now about to face off with my killer mom, see ya when I get back, bye. 

He actually tried benching Damian repeatedly, and Damian went, LOL. No. 

He actually tried stressing to Duke the importance of leaving dangerous situations to the professionals, and Duke kept showing up at every dangerous situation in Gotham and being like oh hey, so weird we keep running into each other. 

Every time another adult hero clucks at Bruce disapprovingly and says he really should’ve kept his kids out of the hero life, Bruce’s eye twitches and he grinds out: “Oh gee. If only I’d thought of that.”

[charminglyantiquated]

i can’t stop thinking about houses with chicken legs

[tinypocketcats]

Witch Houses are solitary creatures. They may join a small group called a “Hepple”, and some accompany a injured or sick House. They are surprisingly intelligent for something that looks like there would be a brain in one. Witch Houses normally have two legs, with sharp claws and a due claw on their large feet. Having such huge, thick legs, a Witch House can run between 40 and 50 miles per hour.  

Some Witch Houses are bred to create a fine (and expensive) creature. Some examples in this type of breeding could have luscious, raven-like, feathered tails or a higher speed than others. A Witch, (or any other humanoid would make a decent living on selling Houses, and others may run a ranch. These types of Witch Houses tend to be a domesticated form. 

Unfortunate breeding results in a Witch House is having a third leg. A third leg can make it difficult for a With House to walk, and worse at running. This leg is either amputated at the time of birth, while others would just be disposed of. There’s also the possibility of a deformed leg. Another example is a poorly formed house, which could have a misshapen look or have a weak structure. There is no fixing for these malformed. The are also disposed of.

During the breeding season, male Witch Houses will create a nest with various parts of fences and wood. The males prefer to steal their fences from unaware humans and humanoids, carefully picking the best set to impress a female Witch House. The witches that own these homes are refused to be let in, leading to more hexing than normal on townsfolk in frustration. Some (very lucky) witches are allowed within the House, on the pretense of using infants as tribute. 

Once the new Witch Houses are born, they are fed humans which are preferred. Witch Houses can have up to 3 Cottages. The young Cottages can not walk until about 2 weeks prior to their hatching, which makes the fence nest necessary to protect them predators. At 6 weeks, a Cottage may exit the nest, but is always accompanied by an adult Witch House. During this time, the Cottage learns basic survival skills. At 9 weeks, Cottages have grown into Witch Houses. They are rushed out of the nest, off to find a witch, using skills they have learned to entice a witch to become it’s master and form a lasting partnership.