things that rhyme with orange. -
"I participate in what you believe if you give me the attention
yeah, yeah, that's the only compensation
I wanna be included in your conversation, so am I in, or am I out?"
summary: Chris is the popular kid, everyone knows him and you're just the kid who isn't an outcast but isn't well known through the school like him. but little did you know that the most popular kid actually has an interest in you.
warnings: honestly nothing, just Chris pining for you. him being frustrated, fluff:) I'm in a very fluffy mood. maybe use of y/n, I got no name for the reader. my apologies 🙏😔
a/n: this one is the longest one I've made, slow burn in a sense. but I really hope it was worth the read, I love you<3
this one also goes out to @luverboychris , she got a little sneak peek into the story 🩷
highschool is a drag. it's all about popularity, the jocks and cheerleaders, if you aren't in some subcategory might as well count you as weird and not worth the time to befriend. snarky comments thrown your way even if you don't even know who it is. blonde cheerleaders thinking they're all that, getting with every guy who's on every sports team.
speaking of popular kids, Chris sturniolo. on the lacrosse team, #3 and his triplet brother being #4. matt has only given you nothing but respect and help when you needed it. whether it be school or anxiety that you need help with, he was always there for you
and nick too, although he isn't on the team anymore, you've bumped into him quite a lot considering you're in the same classes, enjoy the same things, and you hang around matt. you absolutely adore nick, he's so easy to talk to you, you both talk about boys and boys. and sometimes even girls if one catches your eyes. he always gushes about a pretty girl that he thinks you might find attractive. it's just what you guys do, you look for guys for you and he looks for boys and girls for you.
you couldn't say the same for Chris, you didn't talk to him nearly as much as you did his brother. he wasn't unbearable, it was the people who surrounded him. all the kids that picked on you, whether it was in front of you or from afar. you knew way too well how they thought about you. and when they all flock to Chris, something in him just switched. one moment he was saying hi with the sweetest smile on his face, slightly awkward but still cute, the next he was just a dick to you. playing into the role that comes with being popular and on a sports team
you always wished to see a small hint of regret in his eyes when he laughed with them, saying something about how your hair is or your clothes, your shoes, the lack of popularity. but you never did, he held himself too high for you to see anything. not a falter of his lips, or a slight dullness to his eyes. nothing ever.
but the one thing you did realize is that he only ever laughed with them, he never engaged with the bullying only laughed. and the one thing you know is that, that isn't his real. it's a fake laugh, completely fake versus what you hear in the house when you're with Nick.
"I only want you to think I'm fantastic"
god is he a dumbass. he never wants to laugh with them, he hates it. he doesn't understand why people think they have any right to bully other people simply because they aren't popular or have at least a good bit of money. it shouldn't matter, yeah sure he grew up good. he had everything he needed, handed to him, always had his parents and brothers by his side
but it wasn't always easy like the rest of the people he knew around school. he had some name brand stuff, yeah, but his parents actually had to work for it. it wasn't just handed to him. like around easter, smaller holidays, he usually liked to wait around to buy things, wait 'til they were on clearance to even think about buying it.
and he liked it that way. feeling accomplished for finally getting that stuffed animal or shirt or jacket, hell even some candies he was jumping up and down for when he could finally buy it without spending too much.
he also liked how easy going you were. you kept to yourself, not too much about you went around the school. he saw that you had a small group of friends. even though it was pretty small, he noticed how close you guys were. always with each other, in pairs or in trios or in the whole group. everyone was always with someone. he knew those kids from a distance, but it was you that he noticed first, noticing those were the kids you liked to be around
from what he's heard about those, he knows who you are as a person. not completely, but he can tell who you are briefly.
he never really thought anyone would catch his eye. I mean, look at the girls who throw themselves at him. none of them catch his eye. you always catch his eye, but he just lets you slip right through his fingers when they come around.
"I participate in what you believe"
you noticed Chris was around you more than usual. not in a creepy way at all, you'd never think that about him. but slowly you started noticing him doing things that you liked. in classes, going to the library, at his house when you're with his brothers or talking to his mom. he kept his distance of course, he didn't want to come off creepy or weird
he wanted to learn more about you. your music taste, what you like to read, where you stand on certain topics being thrown around, if you're in any clubs, what your hobbies were. even your makeup he was interested in, and he barely knows what being said. everything about you, he wanted to participate in what you believe in, what you liked, where you were going.
but he catches himself looking it up later, seeing which were and weren't your favorite products. the books you were ranting about to nick, the parts that were so good that you were almost screaming about it, the parts that you hated. he learned that you hate the build up in books and movies, the suspense kills you. the parts that could've been avoided makes you wanna curl up and die because "it didn't need to happen", he remembers you saying
"If you give me the attention"
after a few months of you being over more, completely engulfing him in your presence not even on purpose, he finds himself wanting to talk to you. he doesn't know how to start, he knows him laughing along with his "friends" hurts you. he's seen it on your face. the way your eyes scan all of him, looking for something, anything, that he doesn't mean it. he knows how it feels, so why does he kept doing it?
he wishes he could answer it, it makes his own head and heart hurt. he hides it too well, or so he thinks. you've only ever told matt about how you've heard his laugh, how you know it isn't a real one but fuck does it hurt you.
all he wants is for you to give him your attention.
he couldn't wish for anything more, it was tearing him up. should he? should he not? would you even let him talk to you? what would he say? hes so nervous around you, he doesn't understand why though.
"Yeah, yeah, that's the only compensation"
well.. you are really pretty, and your hair looks so soft and gorgeous every time he sees you no matter the style, your makeup always looks so flawless even if it's minimum makeup. it just looks so good on you. your clothes look so good but comfy, you can still see your curves ever so slightly. not like he means to see it, he just observes you so much. your nails are pretty too, always looking good, professionally or you and nick decided to paint them yourselves.
"what the fuck am I thinking" Chris groans out quietly to no one but himself, putting his hands on his face slightly dragging them down as if they was supposed to stop all his thoughts. he's locked away in his room while you're downstairs with Nick and matt.
their parents aren't home so you're able to play music louder than usual and dance around the kitchen. he can hear different varieties of genres playing. he knows it's your music, everyone here likes your taste.
from lil skies to Alex g to doja cat to Billie eillish to x to lil peep to random emo/screamo bands that he cant put his finger on just by hearing them. it's what they all like in one person
"I wanna be included in your conversation"
he ends up gathering himself, he's getting hungry and fed up with his thoughts so he heads to the kitchen. he sees you and nick singing to each other, some song by Doja cat that he knows he's heard but can't place the title of it.
he stares at you in awe, you look so good, so pretty. and so happy doing it with Nick. he finally kicks himself back into reality, the music isnt too loud where you can't hear if someone's talking to you, but loud enough where you can feel the bass
"hey guys" Chris calls out, hoping to grab your you and his brothers attention, "what's going on down here?" he says in a jokingly scolding manner as if he's a parent catching his kids doing something they shouldn't be
"So am I in, or am I out?"
you giggle at him after you're done singing your line, his brothers just play into it. he smiles at the giggles you let out, it made his heart go so much faster. they keep it going for a couple of minutes until you say something,
"hey Chris!! we're just singing and dancing around right now. you have to listen to dojas new song. she's featured in 21 savage's new album!" you beam, a big smile on your face while you look at him. you may not like how he plays into the bullying towards you, but you know he isn't a bad guy.
he felt his heart rate go even faster if that was even possible and his heart throb at how you were talking to him
"wait what? they made a song together? that's literally like both of music tastes combined. that's so fucking cool" he says back, a bigger smile appearing on his face. mentally making a note to listen to it. this is the first time you two have actually talked to one another.
its usually a quick hi or bye, awkward small talk. but no. this was an actual conversation you two were having.
by now it's been a year since you started hanging around the house, you're more like a daughter to their mom and dad, more of a sister to nick and matt. but Chris had finally realized, all the feelings, all the thoughts, everything was being he liked you.
no, scratch that, he was in love with you. you just kept drawing him in like a siren with her song, calling a sailor to her with her beautiful voice. only this time, it was only for the better
he watched how long your hair got from the first time you came over. he noticed how your makeup style subtly changed, sometimes more girly looking, more pinks and soft looking but more grungey than it used to be. he noticed how your style changed day by day, from more skater girl-ish, to pretty long dresses and skirts paired with a baggy sweater or a smaller tee. it made it harder for him to resist looking at you for long, he didn't want to be obvious.
somehow it was working, you havent had a single clue how he thought about you. you didn't see him as a brother like you did Nick and matt though. but you were still conflicted. the way he acted around his group of "friends" when you passed by or got caught talking to him. only this time, he never laughed, he kept a stone cold face, and held so much regret and guilt in his eyes and body
but only now, after you left, he would defend you. spitting out, "that was not cool dude, you don't do that to people" or a simple "shut the fuck up dude" with his jaw clenched so hard that sometimes it felt like his teeth would shatter.
you didn't know how you felt about him. you loved him, you really did but those moments filled you with rage and sadness like no other.
"What is there to think about?"
you've had enough of the mixed signals and shit from him. you were going over to hang out with Nick after school so you plan on confronting Chris when you can.
now it's 2pm, school's finally over and you're on your way to their house. talking to Nick the whole way, trying to keep yourself composed. you just hope it won't turn out bad.
it's Friday, which means you're staying for the weekend. it's become a weekly thing now, it was usually their house but sometimes yours. you honestly preferred being away from home anyway, so it was perfect
a handful of hours pass by, nick is asleep next to you. you think now is finally a perfect time to go talk to Chris. you know he doesn't sleep so he's definitely awake.
you slowly make your way out of Nick's bed, you know he's a heavy sleeper but you could never be too careful. your mind's all over the place. it could go good or bad and you're seriously praying it goes well.
you slowly make your way to his room, it's 2am by now. everyone else is hopefully sleeping. your heart is practically trying to jump out of your chest, you don't know why you're so nervous. it doesn't make sense unless— "do I have feelings for Chris?" you accidentally mutter out loud, you instantly clamp your mouth shut
shit. you pray even more that no one is awake or around you right now. fuck that's so embarrassing, but nonetheless, it makes so much sense now
you shake your head. get it together y/n, it'll be fine. you don't have to tell him that you say in your head, mentally preparing as you're right outside his door now.
"here goes nothing" you say out loud to nobody but yourself. your hand goes up to knock softly, you stand back a bit. you hear shuffling and a quick and quiet "ow fuck" from inside after you hear him trip over god knows what in his room, making you giggle
he opens the door, a little shocked since he was expecting to see one of his brothers. instead, his eyes land on yours. you see him get nervous, trying to form words that aren't able to become anything
"can I come in, please, Chris?" you say gently, it isn't going to be a bad conversation you hope
he clears his throat, "yeah yeah, of course" he says, stuttering over the first "yeah" moving so you can come in
you giggle at him, walking in and admiring everything. his LED lights are on a light blue color, lyrical lemonade everywhere. carpets, plushed lyrical lemonade, on his wall even. it makes you smile, his whole room just screams Chris in the best way possible.
you sit on his bed towards the edge, hands in your hand slightly crossed over each other. playing with your fingers, you watch Chris closing the door and moving towards you. sitting next to you, not too close but still close enough on you
"so what's up? are you okay?" he says first in a calming voice. it's low but not too low, it sounds so pretty to you.
"yeah yeah I'm okay, nick fell asleep to a movie we were watching" you start, making him chuckle at that. "and I just have a lot on my mind. I actually have a question for you, if you don't mind " you say, just rambling, barely taking a breath or letting him process anything except for the first part.
"oh of course, ask away" he sounds calm and collected but you can tell he's even more of a wreck now. picking at the hem of his shorts
"why do you let them say all of that about me? why did you laugh with them at first, Chris? I know it wasn't even a real laugh" you say, your voice almost as quiet as mouse but getting louder towards the end. he looks at you, his eyes slightly wider than they were
he knew this day would come, but he didn't think today was it
"honestly I don't know, I hated when they said that shit about you. it doesn't even make sense, you're really cool and fun to be around." his voice matching yours, it's quiet but unlike yours, it's filled with guilt. "I thought it would cause more issues if I didn't laugh just a natural response I guess. but I promise I don't laugh now or let them say anything like that. I'm sorry I did that to you, it's so not okay" he says panicking because he didn't clear that up yet
you ponder for a minute, was there a reason for all of this? everything he's been doing, almost like he's trying to make up for it?
"I forgive you but still doesn't make it okay Chris, it shouldn't have ever happened" you spoke a little louder this time, expressing how it truly made you feel.
"I know I know, I wish I could go back and take it all back. it's so shitty of me"
his face is filled with guilt, it makes your heart break. you don't like seeing him like this, it hurts you almost as much as it hurts him.
you grab his hands, stopping all of his movements. his eyes trail up to your face, landing on yours but quickly looking at everywhere else on your face except your eyes
"I promise it's okay, we can't go back but we can make new, better memories instead of dwelling on those ones don't you think?" your voice is sweeter now, there's a tone in it that he cant put a word on it but he loves it.
"mhm, we can. I promise you that I'll make sure it'll never happen again" he says, moving his one hand to his chest while talking and then saluting with the same hand when he's done making you laugh. he shoots you a dorky, stupid smile. he loves making you laugh.
"but I do have one question Chris", he puts his hand back with yours and lets out a hum, "this is so out of the blue, but I think.. i like you Chris" the words tumbling out before you can stop them. the pure horror and shock on your face is so obvious, you told yourself you didn't have to tell him.
his mouth opens a little bit, shocked at your words. he never thought you'd like him back, not after everything, only ever hopelessly living in his mind about you and him
before his lips can move, you cut him off "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. that wasn't what I wanted to say. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or disgusted god im—" you're cut off by Chris, his lips ever so softly on yours, ghosting over them almost asking if it's okay before he fully leaned in.
you did it for him, meshing your lips together. it felt heavenly, like they were two puzzle pieces finally fitting together after being apart for too long, like they were made for each other
he's the first one to break the kiss, leaving you panting gently. that same smile from a few minutes ago returning as if it never left his face
"does that answer everything that was in that pretty head of yours?" his voice is sweet and soft, like honey in your ears. you can't form any words so a head nod works just as well
he chuckles at you, how cute you are, how taken back you are but in a good way. never in a million years did either of you expect to be here, in the situation, in this position at 2 in the morning talking about this, let alone confessing and kissing each other
this is what his dreams were made of, and that dream finally came true. this is all he wanted, and you couldn't agree more with him.
best decision you ever made.
GOD FUCK THIS IS LONG I APOLOGIZE. it really could've been broken into parts, but I like it like this. I just spent like a genuine hour writing this through and through, my vision is so WEIRD RIGHT NOW. anyways:D
I HOPE it was to your standards. I love y'all so much, eat well, drink plenty have a good day🩷🩷🫶🫶
happy Valentine's Day my loves<3
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