Love... All over again!
“...and he just stood there perplexed!” she laughed. To him, she looked the most imperfect pretty possible. As her eyes mapped every region on his face while narrating what she thought was a funny incidence to share, he tried to figure out the imperfection in them.
“I could never forget the look on his face!” she laughed, and looked at him, expecting him to return the laughter. But she noticed that he was too busy concentrating on something else. So, her laughter faded.
“Hellyeo!! Lost are we?” she asked him. He kept staring into her eyes, while waited for him to answer.
“Something’s missing,” he said.
“I’m sorry! What?” she looked around and asked.
“It’s been over two months since we have been seeing each other. We have discussed almost everything that would help us to come to a decision. We’re almost there. But this one thing that’s missing, is somehow bothering me!” he said sounding rather impatient.
“I don’t what you are missing, but I definitely seem to be missing something here,” saying so, she decided to concentrate on the coffee machine on her far left.
“There is something you are deliberately not telling me,” and now he had her attention, “something you don’t want me to know.”
“I’ve told you everything that I possibly wouldn’t want you to know, but you deserved to. So I think that sums up to every detail about my personal life,” the smile had vanished off her face.
“I haven’t met the you, you really are. So I am still not familiar with you. But the you, you are being in front of me, isn’t that you. I can tell that from your eyes. They have a depth. A depth that has something hidden away that’s constantly trying to peep and you are deliberately trying to trap it there.” It looked liked she knew where this was heading. She just didn’t want him to reach there, which meant...
“I’m right then,” he kept looking into her eyes that constantly gazed away now.
“No, you aren’t,” she said, now looking at him.
“How so?” he was started feeling afraid now.
“It isn’t something I don’t want you to know,” she said, and looked away again, “It’s I who doesn’t want to know it.”
“Well, at least we know now that there certainly is a problem,” it was hard to try and not hurt her. She always acted like she is strong, but deep down, she was fragile. “You need to trust me, that I am not going to be judgemental. But whatever it is, the burden of it is pulling you down!” he really didn’t want anything in the world to hurt her.
“It’s the relationship I had before you,” her voice quivered a little.
“You’ve told me, that you both were...”
“Yes. And I have told you everything about the relationship that you deserved to know. What I haven’t told you yet is whether any of it is still left in me or not.” She took a deep breath, “the problem is, I don’t want to know whether any of it is still left in me or not. Because if the answer is yes, then I will be doing wrong to you.”
He looked at her, hoping he could have some eye contact with her. But he knew, she was fighting to shut all the feelings away. It was his turn to take a deep breath. This wasn’t going to be easy. Even for him. But the most for her.
“Ok. Now listen to me very carefully. I don’t want that relationship to die inside you.”
She looked up at him in bewilderment.
“Yes, you heard me right. I do not want it to die inside you. And there is only one reason behind it. That is, whatever has happened in your life has moulded you into who you are. Whether good or bad, all those experiences have shaped you into you. If that relationship dies somewhere down there, it will also kill the you, you have become with the course of time! I don’t want that! I like the you, you are! I like every imperfection you hold! And I wouldn’t want you to be any different! It is ok if you miss him sometime, or something I do reminds you of him! You loved him! And it only means you are capable of loving someone to that extent! It means, you are capable of loving me enough if I treat you correct! Hang in there girl! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Let that shadow loose! Let it follow you! Don’t try to bury it in the depth of your heart! That’s your spirit you are trying to suffocate. Let yourself be 100% you. I need you to. Can you do that?”
As he spoke, her eyes welled up. And just like that, she fell in love all over again.














