[gaylor-moon]

[cal-frezi-deactivated20230604]

[kahzu]

[511am]

Evolution of Nissan

[thetyrannosaur]

My cat does this before throwing up

[netcromancy]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[stream]

Larry, if we make an effort today, we might be able to save August. Jaws (1975) | dir. Steven Spielberg

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[fucknosexistcostumes]

Police making a woman take off her clothing at the beach because she’s wearing too much, 2016

Police measuring a woman’s clothing because she’s wearing too little, 1922

[aeon-shaping-lie-deactivated201]

Wow almost as if the clothes weren’t the problem and men just want to control women

[serfuzzypushover]

Trying

[warplanerubdown]

[kaijuno]

HELP HIM TAKE SIPPY

[teaboot]

Who enchanted this PFUCKING wizard

[missingnueve]

BAEKHYUN 백현 Candy

[sunflower-cane]

Abled people: how’re we suppose to live and sustain ourselves if we are unable to work??? How does the government expect us to live like this???

Disabled people:

[charlesoberonn]

Broke: Barbie's many different careers are a way to sell dolls and accessories to little kids.

Woke: Barbie had every single one of those careers and is an immortal timeless being.

Bespoke: Barbie's different careers are different versions of Barbie from across the multiverse who occasionally swap place with each other or combine into one Barbie.

[charlesoberonn]

[princesstadashi]

SO THERE’S SOMETHING Y’ALL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT...

[ginger-le-gay-deactivated202008]

Attack of the clones

[copperbadge]

I have often used Barbie to explain Greek mythology, and people laugh until I explain it, and then they get really serious and thoughtful. 

I say, “The Greeks ascribed aspects to gods. Apollo had many aspects, but all were Apollo. He’s like Barbie that way. She’s an astronaut, a veterinarian, and a rollerskater, but no matter which of those things she is in the moment, she is always still Barbie. She is Barbie in her aspect as.” 

Then people get not only the idea of “aspects” of godhood, but also, well, the changeable yet eternal nature of Barbie. 

[ludaprilgate]

[posts-that-only-suck-a-little]

Me with everything I make fun of

[itsbetterthananal]

an image i made in case you need a reminder today

[powerfulwizard]

octopuses die after they have sex for the first time by the way. and squidward just happens to still be alive and well.

[powerfulwizard]

I hate to disappoint the finest minds on tumblr but

Gallery of fake fans right here.

[cartooncryptid]

I can never leave tumblr because where else am I gonna see discourse over whether squidward is an octopus or a squid and therefore whether he’s had sex

[newyorker]

A cartoon by Will McPhail.

[ruffboi-mags]

[immentallydeficient-deactivated]

[deejay]

[dalishpariah]

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

[mintzy]

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in. When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer: Woman: But there are no people in here. Manager: Madam. The staff count as people. Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

[laysiaprincess]

“The staff count as people” has me dead