Make Yourself A Monsterpiece

I lift and I have a Bull Terrier. I'm currently trying to become a polyglot: Spanish, German, and Arabic. Native English speaker. That's it, that's my life.

[drag0nair]

te amo?? more like te quila

[exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear]

So this is excellent because it’s a play on “tequila” AND a correct conjugation of “quilar” meaning “to fuck”

[haviary-deactivated20180108]

the fact that the Russian language doesn’t have articles makes me go ??????????????? because in a native English speaker’s head it sounds like a hilarious shitpost type thing

 so when you ask someone “Где водка?” it translates to “where is the vodka?”

 but in my horrible backwards english brain if I don’t see any articles I assume they aren’t there, so yelling “ГДЕ ВОДКА” translates to “WHERE VODKA” like some kind of drunken maniac who you definitely should not give vodka to

[leupagus]

Speaking as a Russian-American who speaks the language and knows a fair share of Russian-Russians, even if Russians did have articles they would still slam open the door yelling “WHERE VODKA” at all times.

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Jake Likes Onions

[dustinteractive]

We gotta get through this together.

[imperator1996]

Obama right now.

[wronghands1]

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Wrong Hands

[themonsterpiece]

*beer

[the-movemnt-deactivated20170912]

@FLOTUS 4 @POTUS PLZ!!!!!!!!

[lizclimo]

good work sam. 

[chrishallbeck]

Chili.

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[tastefullyoffensive]

(via mywholeteamsdead)

[themonsterpiece]

Me: *sees a shooting star*

Me: *wishes to become fluent in all languages*

[kieletlanguage]

When you successfully translate from one language to another without searching for the words

[themonsterpiece]

Look at this majestic beast.

[mrlovenstein]

Don’t talk to me. Secret Panel HERE!

[bearzerky]

i can’t wait until october when there’s no sun outside and everything is cute colors and it’s cold and there are terrible horror movies on tv, my power is at its peak then

[themonsterpiece]

Happy Birthday Sumo!! She's 3! Time flies.

Current Likes:

Laser pointer

People food

Doggy play dates

Toys that squeak

Tiny humans (a.k.a. kids)

Taking baths

Tug of war

Scarfing down "long lasting" treats in under a minute

Current Dislikes:

Being left alone

Plastic bags

Giving kisses (unless it's her idea, she will swerve the hell of out you)

Getting her teeth brushed

Quirks:

Has no idea how to howl

Will run through every trick she knows before you say anything when you have a treat for her

Automatically goes to kennel when I put my shoes on