“Not Now, Not Ever.” (Violetine One-shot)
(All credits for the photo above go to thederpartist)
“What if we lose someone else out there?” Violet pauses fiddling with her fingers as she struggles to speak over the lump in her throat, emotion seeping into her voice.
“What if it’s you?”
Clementine reaches out for her hands, intertwining their fingers together despite the bitter coldness against her warm skin. “We’re going to do this Vi. We’ll be okay, we’ll get everyone out.”
“You keep saying that but-” The image of Clementine - pale and limp flashes through her mind, her laying there, a bullet leaving a mark on that flawless skin - chokes her. Her eyes are glassy, her face pale. “Things happen. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” The brunette jokes, squeezing her hands, her face growing into that beautiful smile that usually makes the blonde’s heart flutter. This time, it’s different though. There’s no time for laughing, not now.
Violet meets her eyes, her expression firm. “If anything happens and I slow you down, I want you to leave me.”
“I’m serious, Clem. I want you to get Louis, Omar, Aasim, and make sure they’re safe. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you. I-”
“And you think I would?” Clementine interrupts, looking her dead in the eyes with a defiant stare of her own. “I’m not leaving you behind.”
“You need to focus on saving everyone, getting yourself and AJ safe. This school wouldn’t survive without you.”
“Violet, stop.” She says firmly.
“You know I’m right.”
“I’m not leaving you,” She repeats. “Not now, not ever. If I have to carry you over my shoulder to get you off that boat, I’m going to. It’s either I leave with you, or I don’t leave at all. I care about you too much for that.”
Violet’s hands find her face, using her thumbs to brush away the tears that fell from golden eyes, resting their foreheads together. “You better not disappear on me, okay?”
“I promise.” Her eyes close, and she relaxes, the cool air calming her breaths.
And Violet knows, she knows these things can’t be promised, but it stops the racing thoughts and worries in her head as she leans down, connecting their lips to calm herself. She feels intoxicated by the smell of coffee, and ironically a hint of orange. Her lips are warm and soft and dry, and she can still taste the saltiness of her tears.
A cough breaks them apart.
“As adorable as that was, we need to get going if we want to do this.” Ruby stands there, a smirk across her lips. AJ is there too, looking up at them and giggling.
“What’re you doing?”
“None of your beeswax.” Clementine retorts, her eyes shining in the morning sun.
“Shut up AJ.” She says jokingly, as Ruby guides him away and grants him the opportunity to cut open the walker to occupy his time - to which he eagerly agrees.
“Are we good now?” Clementine asks, their bodies still close as she clings to her biseps, studying her eyes.
“Yeah.” Violet answers, but as she turns away, she thinks better of it. One last time. She needs her close one more time before they rush into this suicide mission. She needs closure. Her hand grips to her wrist, pulling her back.
Her question is cut short as their lips crash together once more, Violet’s hands desperately traveling her arms, her cheeks, her shoulders. She needs to familiarise herself with everything, she needs to remember. The softness of her hands, the smoothness of her cheeks, the scars. She needs to remember it all.
She pulls back, gazing into her eyes. Those three words rest right on the tip of her tongue, but it’s too soon. Her jaw goes taut, eyebrows furrowed. She’s already said it once, but she needs the confirmation again. “You better not disappear on me.”
“I promise.” The ballcapped teen pulls her into a hug, squeezing as tight as she can without hurting her. She says it so sternly, so determined, that Violet wants to believe her.
Violet could hold onto her for the rest of her life, but she knows it’s selfish. Her friends are still on that boat, and only God knows what that bitch has done to them. They need to move. They need to go.
She closes her eyes. They could die. They could all die out there. She wants her to know. She needs her to know.
A sharp inhale enters her nose. She exhales as their embrace ends. Her eyes avert to the floor as she kicks at the dirt, colour rising to her cheeks.
Another inhale, a squeeze of her hands. A breath through chapped, parted lips. “I… I think I’m starting to fall in love with you.” It’s true, and it’s embarrassing to say out loud, but she forces herself to meet her eyes. ’The eyes tell more truth than words.’ She remembers her Grandma saying. She hopes her eyes are showing as much love, how much fear she’s feeling.
A long time ago, Clementine hated that word. It meant she was letting someone be close to her, and that ment another she could lose. But as those green eyes look back at her, full of pain and honesty, she can’t lie about what she’s feeling. “I love you back.” She responds with that smile that can somehow comfort Violet, without even saying anything. “We’re going to get them all out - and alive, okay? Just trust me.”
“I trust you.” She doesn’t understand why, but she truly does trust her. Anything could happen out there, but this is Clementine, she’s gone through much worse. She’ll make it out of there, they’ll protect each other.
Because although not all promises can be kept in a world like this, where dead can kill anyone within a single motion and the living are just as dangerous, they have love. The love of their family, their friends and each other.
And that’s not the type of love that ends.