neon demon

Eli | 25 | Italy | she/her | fanfic writer | jk biased af | sun ♉ asc ♌ moon ♊

[theneondemonx]

⫸ MASTERLIST

Hi babies. I’m Eli and in my blog you will find fanfictions about BTS members. Everything I write is a work of fiction, none of it is real or necessarily reflects my true beliefs. I will always put warnings before every fic, so in case you find something you’re not comfortable with in there, do not read the story.  I’ll keep updating this post every time I publish something. Hope you’ll enjoy the ride  ❤

Requests: open

ONESHOTS

➜ My Type - [fuckboy!jk x fem!reader] - porn with very little plot, college au.

summary: you’ve never liked fuckboys, especially one Jeon Jungkook. But when you find yourself late at night playing a game of seven minutes in heaven with your college friends, things take a different turn.

➜ Houdini - [escaped convict!jk x fem!reader] - porn with some plot, criminal au, established relationship.

summary: jungkook was your first and only. When he got arrested, you felt like an idiot for always believing his every word and after a few years you decided to date again. But the word somehow got to his ears in jail and he couldn’t let you be anyone else’s but his.

Drabble One: Promising Young Woman - in which oc and Jungkook meet for the first time.

[⏵playlist]

➜ Sex on the beach - [fuckboy!jk x fem!reader] -  smut smut smut, beach au.

summary: it’s the summer of your diploma and you have every intention to make it memorable. When you find out that Jeon Jungkook, one of your highschool’s old glories, is back in town, that goal gets even more interesting than you initially thought.

SERIES

➜ Judas - [idol!jungkook x fem!reader , idol!namjoon x fem!reader ] angst, love triangle, smut, fluff, idol au.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) [⏵playlist]

summary: you’ve always been the type to focus more on your academic career rather than to chase after boys. Kim Namjoon, however, managed to pierce right through the walls you built around yourself and before you knew, you found yourself being the girlfriend of the world’s biggest band’s leader. Nothing and no one can come between the two of you.. or at least this is what you believe to be true until you meet Jeon Jungkook.

[theneondemonx]

I'm so sorry guys for taking so much time to update. I have like two pages of Judas' new chapter already written but work is killing me and I have three exams in September. When I have free time I'm always exhausted and drained from creativity. I hope I'll get past this block asap 💜

[ahundredtimesover]

July 2021 Reads | JJK

Hello! All my July reblogs of JK fics (x f. reader) are listed below. Please note the angst, fluff, and smut descriptions. Much love to the authors (reblog, comment, but please be kind) and to our see-through pjs-wearing & adorable bun jk 🐰

Continua a leggere

[theneondemonx]

I'M SCREAMING 😍 Thank you so much for including my fic and shout-out to all the authors 💜💜

[theneondemonx]

Ugh I'm sorry I had to rant. Idk if you understood any of that but chilleeeee this fic unleashed all of my rage

Don't worry honey 💜💜 I love to read rants. It means the fic is sparking a reaction. And that's the best I can ask for as a writer 🥰

[theneondemonx]

Oh my fuck.i have never been so angry. Like its all just shit. I vote for joon to win cuz hell no. Fuck jungkook and y/n..sorry to the others thats some shit but ooooh if jk and y/n don't deserve all the hate that namjoon harbors in that heart of his. Yes it was big dumb. But my man's wasn't thinking. He had his heart broken by the girl who wasn't even supposed to be around jungkook. And jungkook consisntely fucks him over. How do you do that your friend someone you called a brother and then ask if they even loved each other? That's a fight. An entire fight. Several fades. Fuck them

Honestly.. if I was oc's friend, I'd tell her to get the fuck out of that group. Like "run for the hills home girl". Because no matter how you put it, everything is just very very toxic. You don't want to be with any of them. You clearly don't want to be with a guy you cheated on so quickly. And obviously you don't want to be with him after he fucked up your life, your family's life, his own life and also his colleagues' lives in one go just out of spite. Also, you don't want to be with someone who betrayed his friend TWICE and just throws fists whenever he feels like it. This is not even a band anymore, it's a fucking corrida with all those red flags 🤣 But yeah.. if the characters always made smart choices, that would be a pretty boring angsty fic. So I guess I'll just keep the evil and stupid coming your way, guys ahahahah

[theneondemonx]

I cannot tell you how much I have wanted to sucker punch ALL THREE OF THOSE STUPID ASS GROWN ASS PEOPLE. NAMJOON WHAT THE FUCK JUNGKOOK YOU DONT GET TO BE A DICK YOU FUCKED TWO NOT ONE TWO OF HIS GIRLFRIENDS JUST TO SPITE ILL BE BIG ANGRY TOO Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE SUCK THAT SHIT UP YOU DESERVE IT OMFG ALWLELKRKRK WHY IS NO ONE THINKING BEFORE THEY ACT???? DID WE NOT GO TO SCHOOL? AND HOW IS A LEAK OF YOUR PERSONAL LIFE ANY MEANER THAN YOU CHEATING ON YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH THE MFING DUDE WHO STOLE HIS FIRST GF ILL BE HONEST I WOULDNT BE THINKING EITHER ILL BE THROWING ALL SORTS OF MFING HANDS EVERYONE CATCHING A FADE INCLUDING BANG PD STUPID BITCHEZ GODDAMNIT LAKDKDKDKFJFJFNFNNF AHHHHHH

Idk why your reaction is oddly satisfying to me ahahhaah You should be mad at those three fuckers - I GET YOU GURL. Like, of course this is an idol au so it's a whole other level of shit, but I take a lot of inspiration from kinda being the Marco in my group of friends. You know.. giving advice, having them tell me I'm right and then just see them fuck shit up in the worst possible ways. Idk gurl, people are WEEEEEIIIIIIIIRD 🤣🤣

[theneondemonx]

Hello! Im not sure if you have answered this before, but may i know the age gap between jk & oc from houdini? I am just curious after reading the drabble when you mentioned oc is 15 hehe

Hiii 💜 When I wrote the fic, I pictured JK as being a few years older than oc - like, not MUCH older, but enough to feel the difference, especially when she was a teen. He was something like 18-19 years old when they first met. I pictured him being already out of school, but still very young. You know.. they have that kind of age gap that feels like nothing when you are both in your twenties, but makes a big difference in your teen years.

[theneondemonx]

Hey, your banners are gorgeous!! How do you make them ??

Hey there!! 💜 First of all, thank you so much 😍 The program I use is Photoshop 2021 and I keep it pretty much simple since I do some graphics here and there but I just know the basics. I mostly rely on the coloring, cause the rest is just cropping an hd pic and paste it on some background texture (you can find a lot of those on deviant art). You can also download a lot of cool fonts from deviant art and from dafont. For the coloring I just.. improvise I guess ahhahaha Idk, I try different settings and see what works best. If you are interested in graphic, you can learn a lot by people who make colorings (which you can find on this site or, again, deviant art). When I first started, I downloaded pre-made colorings. What I did was looking at the layers they put and the adjustment they made in order to learn how to make one myself. I still have a lot to learn, but I have fun experimenting 😄

[theneondemonx]

Sorry for disappearing guys! I'll answer all of you and update Judas as soon as possible. Work is killing me rn 😭

[theneondemonx]

Still the same anon here, just wanted to ask if you can say sth about the new series 🥰 I'm curious. Will it be abt jk or? Which scenary r u going for?

Yeah, it's still gonna be about jk, since I'm a big ass simp for him ahahah

I guess I can describe it as a mafia au. For now I just have vibes and a generic idea for the plot and his character. I'm going for a sort of Peaky Blinders' vibe 😏 Thomas Shelby!jk is like.. yeah.. my body is ready 😅

[theneondemonx]

Hi there!! I'm a big fan of your writing - I read all your fics and I love them soooooo much. Judas is so beautiful omg I can't wait to read Part 9: I wanna know what Tae is planning 🥺🥺 I wanted to ask you if you plan on writing another series after Judas. Cause I get the feel that we might be close to the ending (? Idk ahahah correct me if I'm wrong) but I'm so in love with your writing and I need mooooore 🥲

I'm gonna cry 😭😭 This made me so happy 💜💜💜 Thank you so much, you're really sweet.

Yeah, I have a couple of ideas for future series. One in particular is taking shape in my head and I think it's gonna be the one I'll write right after Judas. So don't worry honey, I gotcha ahahah 💜

Edit // uh I almost forgot! Yeah, we're kinda close to the ending. I actually don't know how many chapters it will take me to finish the story, but still..

[theneondemonx]

I LOVE Jungkook, his character has really won me over in Judas🥲❤️ He truly loves OC & she loves him, I hope they are able to be together because it’s not every day you get to have that instant connection & attraction with someone like they did 😭❤️ how he took the blame in order to save OC, that really touched my heart he has my respect👏🏻

I know I'm the one who write this fic so I shouldn't be surprised bc I literally call the shots, still.. jk killed me in this last chapter 😭😭😭 He's so unbelievably impulsive in everything he does, and that often translates to him wreaking havoc; but when it's about love, this impulsiveness becomes so romantic.. I can't, I just can't with him 💜

[theneondemonx]

JUDAS | JJK

Part Eight

▽ summary: you’ve always been the type to focus more on your academic career rather than to chase after boys. Kim Namjoon, however, managed to pierce right through the walls you built around yourself and before you knew, you found yourself being the girlfriend of the world’s biggest band’s leader. Nothing and no one can come between the two of you.. or at least this is what you believe to be true until you meet Jeon Jungkook.

▽ genre: angst, love triangle, smut, fluff

▽ pairings: idol!namjoon x fem!reader , idol!jungkook x fem! reader

▽ words: 5485

▽ warnings: heavy angst, swearing, panic attack, mention of cheating, fighting.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) [⏵playlist]

That night, your unexpected guardian angel was none other than Kim Taehyung. He didn’t push you in any way, he barely even talked to you – he knew you were too upset to make small talks, let alone talk about what had just happened. He also probably sensed how deeply embarrassed you were feeling.

And obviously, you were. How else were you supposed to be feeling? You couldn’t help but spiral – obsessing over your guilt, your shame, and your heartache. You didn’t interpret Taehyung’s silence and help as a selfless act of care – you thought he just pitied you and didn’t want to have you on his conscience in case you did something stupid.

But he’s judging me. Of course he is. He stopped talking to Jungkook – who actually was his friend and he has to see every fucking day. How could he not judge me – a complete stranger? And he’s right. He should judge me. He should think of me as a pathetic backstabbing bitch. After all.. what did I do to prove myself any different from that?

It only took one night for you to lose all the self-confidence you had worked hard to build. It only took for Namjoon to stare at you with disappointment-filled eyes. And that’s the scary thing about insecurities: they never come alone. Your brain packs them up like an innocent and cute looking matryoshka doll, but every time you open one doll, there's another one hiding inside it.

During the whole ride home, you just stared blankly out of the car’s window, silently crying by yourself until your head started to ache.

When the car stopped, you still didn’t utter a single sentence. You just let Taehyung guide you inside your own apartment.

“Do you want me to call someone? I don’t feel really okay with you being alone tonight.”

Jungkook’s face immediately materialized in your thoughts. Still, you shook your head, trying to close that little drawer in your mind that kept telling you how much you wanted him to come over and hug you tightly until you fell asleep.

Taehyung sighed, looking at you avoiding his stare.

“Y/N.. I know you want to be alone right now, but I don’t think it’s the wisest decision. You’re obviously not in your best shape.”

“I’m not gonna jump out the window, Taehyung.” You replied coldly.

He stayed silent for a moment, probably pondering what to do next. Then, he clicked his tongue on the palate.

“Still, I’m gonna sleep on the couch. It’s fine if you want to barricade yourself inside your room, but..” He paused. “Just know I’m out here, in case you need anything.”

Silence fell again inside the room, resting between the two of you for what felt like an eternity.

“Fine. Suit yourself.” You eventually whispered, walking towards your bedroom and slamming the door shut behind you.

You had cried yourself to sleep until you passed out, mostly out of sheer exhaustion. And when you woke up, you still had your clothes and make up on from the night before. Well, the makeup was fucked up for most part, smudged all over your face and pillow. You had swollen eyes and a terrible headache, which hit you like a sharp pain as soon as you sat on the bed.

It was the crack of dawn, which meant you had still more than enough time to get ready for work. You obviously felt tempted to call in sick, but you knew that staying home all day would just make things worse for you.

I’d be stuck here alone overthinking, crying and feeling miserable. At least if I go to work I’ll be busy enough to forget – even if it is just for a split second.

The battery of your phone had died at some point during the night, but you figured it was probably for the best. You did not want to hear from anyone. And that’s when, with that in mind, you realized that Kim Taehyung was sleeping in your living room.

Fuck! What do I tell him? What do I do?

First of all: a cold shower. You didn’t know you needed that so badly until you felt the ice-cold water waking up every cell of your body.

You took that time to gather your thoughts before taking in a deep breath and slowly opening your bedroom door to peek into the living room.

Taehyung was still asleep. The view made you sigh in relief, and finally you decided to get out of your bedroom, tiptoeing towards the kitchen to get yourself a cup of coffee and something to eat.

“You’re awake.”

You almost spilled boiling coffee all over yourself from the jump-scare that Taehyung gave you.

“God! Do you always sneak up on people like this?”

You could feel your racing heartbeat against the palm you had placed on your chest, and you had to take a couple of deep breaths before slowly calming yourself down. It was obvious that you were on edge, no matter how silent his footsteps might have actually been.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He paused, staring at you in silence with a cautious look of concern in his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

What a shitty question.

“Take a guess.” You muttered, hiding your lips behind a sip of coffee while slightly rolling your eyes.

He sighed.

“I know it was a stupid thing to ask as soon as I said it.”

“It’s fine.” You just said, shrugging before filling up a second cup of coffee and hand it to him with a coy smile. “Uhm.. thanks for yesterday by the way.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You fell into an awkward silence for a couple of minutes, nervously sipping coffee from your cup before feeling the need to say something.

“You know you don’t have to stay, right? I mean.. I’m fine.” Or at least I will be, eventually. “I can take care of myself, Taehyung.”

“Look, Y/N, I don’t want to get involved in your business. You know I’m gonna be on his side no matter what. So I’m not gonna tell you that you can count on me. Cause you can’t. You’ll be on your own.”

You nodded. You didn’t even feel sadness. You already knew where he stood. If anything, you even appreciated his honesty.

“But I’m not cold-hearted. You needed help and I helped you. That’s it. I’m not gonna keep checking on you or step over the line. It’s none of my business.”

“It’s okay, Taehyung. I get it.”

I guess it was nice getting to know you. Maybe I’ll even miss you a bit. It’s hard to find good people these days. Turns out I’m not one of them myself.

You had no way of knowing. When you got into your car around eight in the morning – without your phone, without checking your laptop or even a newspaper – you were completely clueless about what was going on in the outside world. But most of all, you had no idea what was waiting for you.

If only you had called in sick. If only you had turned on your phone and seen the thousands of missed calls from your friends, family and Jungkook. If only you had left home a couple of minutes later, just in time to bump into Jungkook rushing to you.

If only, if only, if only…

If only you had done any of those things, you wouldn’t have found yourself mobbed right in front of your work place. And the worst part of it was not knowing why.

Or at least you didn’t until some recurring words surfaced from the maddening crowd: Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend.

You felt your heart sink down to your stomach. The beat that kept you alive suddenly silenced, and your limbs about to be tore apart by that pack of rabid fans. Everyone wanted a piece of you. Someone wanted to just talk, someone to be your friend, and someone to spit all their hate on you.

And you?

And me? Where am I? Who am I even?

You had feared that exact moment since the beginning of your relationship with Namjoon. And right there, while being pushed left to right, the showreel of all the nights spent crying and panicking with only Marco to keep you sane started racing through your mind.

I can’t breathe.

You probably wanted to say those words to the crowd around you – asking them to leave you alone. Even begging them, if necessary. But the harsh reality was that you froze. Panic had taken over your body, stiffening each and every one of your muscles. As if by staying still, those people would somehow think you were dead and finally leave you be.

Or maybe they won’t. Maybe they can sense the death in me like vultures, and they’re just waiting for me to drop on the floor so they can consume what’s left of my carcass. As if there’s anything to consume anymore.

You felt like you wanted to cry, scream and throw up – all at the same time. But you also felt like you couldn’t physically do any of it – like your own body was not yours anymore, and didn’t respond to any of the desperate commands that your brain was trying to send.

You were not just trapped in the midst of that horrible crowd. You were trapped inside yourself: kicking and screaming on the inside, but unable to move a single muscle on the outside.

“OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR, KIM. I’LL SWEAR TO GOD I’M GONNA KICK IT DOWN IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN RIGHT NOW.”

Jungkook was furious like he had never been his whole life. When the news of Kim Namjoon having a girlfriend broke, it was almost eight in the morning. It took just a couple of minutes for it to travel the world. Your pictures were all over the internet: your name was a trending hashtag on Twitter, Instagram was already torn between support, hate and disbelief, people were already making videos where they talked about you. There was no way to stop the flood, and no one knew who had opened the dam in the first place.

But Jungkook did. He knew it was him. He was sure about it. The timing could not be a coincidence: that was clearly Namjoon’s revenge. A foolish one for sure.

“YOU MUST HAVE LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND!” He lashed out as soon as the door opened, throwing himself at Namjoon to slam him against the wall – his fingers firmly gripping the fabric of his t-shirt.

He stared at him in the eyes and there it was, the confirmation he needed, written all over Namjoon’s cold expression.

It really was your doing, then.

A part of him probably was still holding on to some hope. He hoped he was wrong. He hoped that by looking into his hyung’s eyes, he would find a glimpse of shock and concern.

“You did this.” It wasn’t a question. Jungkook murmured those words as if he did not completely believe them himself. “You really did this.”

He paused, expecting some sort of reaction, which never came. And that’s when an overwhelming feeling of nausea rose to his throat.

You don’t even feel regret.

“You disgust me.” He spit out those words while staring deeply into Namjoon’s eyes, meaning each and every one of them.

“Guess now you know how it feels, mh?”

But Namjoon’s words were soon cut off by a harsh punch landing on his already fucked up face. His only reaction, however, was a laugh.

“You can punch me all you want, Jungkook. It won’t change shit.”

That much he knew. He knew that all the punches in the world could not change the fact that now everyone was aware of your relationship with Namjoon. They did not know about the cheating or the breakup, but that wasn’t necessary. It was pretty clear to him what his hyung’s plan was. Hurting him by hurting you.

A suicidal plan, since that would have drag Namjoon into a pretty big mess with the company. But Joon did not give two shits about it, apparently. He knew Hybe would always protect him – but the same thing didn’t apply to you.

Still, for how pointless it might have been, Jungkook’s knee landed right into Namjoon’s stomach, sucking the air out of his lungs and making him cough harshly.

“You sold her out to the saesangs.” Another kick landed right in the same exact spot. “To the journalists.” Another kick. “People will think it was her – leaking those pictures.” Tears of anger started to gather in Jungkook’s eyes. His hands shaking and his voice filled with pain and hurt.

Yes, it might be pointless. But I want you to feel exactly how I feel right now. I want to hurt you as bad as you did with me. As bad as you hurt her.

“By now the whole world knows who she is, where she works, where she fucking lives. Do you have any idea of the danger you exposed her to? Do you even feel a bit of guilt? Of regret?” He paused, sobbing into the nth kick he gave him. “Did you ever even love her in the first place?”

That’s when Namjoon finally reacted. His head tilted, looking upwards to stare at Jungkook with anger-filled eyes.

“I DID. I DID LOVE HER.” He shouted – his voice hoarse from the physical pain and all the hurt that was tearing his heart to pieces. “YOU KNEW IT AND YOU DID EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME.”

It was then that it hit him. Jungkook stared blankly at Namjoon, feeling something he had never thought he’d ever feel towards him. Pity.

I’ve always admired you, Joon. I’ve always looked up at you. I even wanted to be like you. Maybe that’s why I felt so attracted to her in the first place. But I guess it was worth all the pain and cruelty. Because now I know that I don’t want to be like you. I know who I am. I know what I value. After all, you did teach me something. You teached me how to love by showing me everything that love shouldn’t be.

“This ends today, Namjoon.” Jungkook said calmy, with his flat tone hiding all the heartache he was feeling at the sheer thought of the plan he had in mind. “This – this sick game ends today.”

He was panting, and he took a couple of steps back to rest his back against the wall, looking down at his hyung with disgust.

“You’re gonna get up, clean your pathetic face, drive straight to the University with your bodyguards, and save the day. You’re gonna take all the credit and I’m gonna take all the blame for the disgusting shit you’ve done. I’m gonna tell the company it was me who leaked the pictures. I’m gonna say she ended things with me and that I did something stupid out of jealousy. You’ll be the hero.”

That’s what you always wanted, isn’t it? Being the knight in a shining armor and hearing my name being dragged through the mud. It has been your goal since the beginning. You never cared about my apologies – you just wanted revenge. That’s the only way you’ll ever be satisfied.

Namjoon stared at him in shock, taken aback from the proposition that just came his way – the last thing he would have ever expected from Jungkook.

“What makes you think I want to do any of that after she cheated on me with you?”

Jungkook chuckled bitterly, kneeling down to stare at him face to face.

“Because if you don’t, I’m gonna leave this fucking band, Kim. I have enough money to pay the fine for breach of contract. They can sue me all they want, but that would still be the end of BTS.”

Everyone knew that Jungkook was irreplaceable. Any member of BTS was. Stating that his absence would be the end of the band was no exaggeration, and Namjoon knew it.

“But you’re still gonna get your happy ending with Y/N, am I right?” Joon hissed between his teeth, narrowing his eyes to stare at Jungkook with deep hatred. “You’re gonna get a couple of spanks from the company and she’ll look at you with profound admiration. Poor Kookie sacrificed himself to protect that asshole.”

Jungkook shook his head, chuckling darkly.

“That’s more of a you thing to do, isn’t, hyung?” He scoffed, clicking his tongue against his palate. “No. I’m gonna tell her the same thing.”

She didn’t really end things with me, but she’ll believe it anyway. She wants to believe it. And even if she doesn’t, it’s always easier to believe the bad news instead of the good ones. I can tell her that I love her all day long and she’d probably still doubt it. But if I tell her I’ve done something to purposely hurt her, she’ll believe me immediately.

“And what’s the catch? What do you want from me in return?”

Jungkook shrugged.

“It’s easy. She’ll need a new place to live in, and security. All these things will be on you. It’s the bare minimum, after having ruined her life forever.”

Namjoon stared at him for what felt like an eternity, trying to understand what Jungkook’s plan was. Cause he had to have one.

I’ve seen you sacrificing pieces before. But they were never suicidal moves. You knew you were getting something out of those sacrifices. What’s your gain now, Jungkook?

Somehow, not being able to predict the person he felt like an opponent was driving him crazy. Like he wanted to scream and force him to play - to move another piece, to fight until one of them had his foot pressed on the other one’s face.

This can’t end with a draw. It can’t end with you granting me victory like I’m some sort of spoiled kid. This can’t end like this. This can’t end.

But at the same time, what choice did he have? Accepting the consequences of his foolish actions and letting Jungkook have his happy ending with Y/N?

“You know that one good deed doesn’t make up for everything you did wrong, right?”

Jungkook scoffed bitterly. He got up on his feet and walked towards the door of Namjoon’s apartment.

“This is my last move, Namjoon. I’m exhausted. You win. Everything is up to you now.” He paused, staring at him. “I just ask this one last thing of you. Don’t hurt her. Leave her if you want, tell her she broke your heart if you feel like it. But just.. just don’t hurt her.”

Namjoon fell silent. He looked at Jungkook walking away without making as much as a sound.

I did it. I did win. I did find his weakness. He’s willing to lose everything for her. He doesn’t have a plan. I have won for real. I just didn’t think that victory could have such a bitter taste.

Cause there, laying on his own floor, he didn’t feel like a winner at all.

It was over.

Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to hold himself from crying while the driver took him back to his place. He could feel his heart beating against his chest like it was death knocking at his door.

I didn’t know her that well, after all. I’ll be okay. I’ll eventually forget her and go on with my life.

He had never been the type to lie to himself, but in that moment there wasn’t much else he could do. He needed that lie, he needed to think that his feelings could still be reversable and that they’d just disappear in no time.

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

Right now, in this exact moment, you’re still mine. Even if you don’t want to see me, your heart still belongs to me. I still have a couple of hours, maybe even a bit more, to feel this warmth.

And then he knew, he’d lose it forever. He knew you’d hate him. And there was nothing more painful than that feeling.

When you opened your eyes, you found yourself laying in a familiar bed, still dressed for work. You couldn’t pinpoint your exact location right on the spot; it took you a couple of moments to process what had happened and where you were. It was Namjoon’s bedroom.

How did I end up here?

The last thing you remembered was being mobbed at the university. After that, you just blacked out. You got glimpses of tiny memories: someone yelling, air filling your lungs, a black car – but that was it.

Your eyes quickly scanned the dark room, immediately locating Namjoon, who was half asleep on a chair. You then glanced at the clock. It was almost nine pm. Like clockwork, your stomach started making loud gurgling noises.

I have to get out of here. I have to find a way to get back to my place without being noticed. Or maybe I’ll go to Marco’s. I don’t know if there’s people outside my apartment.

You slowly started to get out of bed, but your movements immediately woke Namjoon up, and you felt like a burglar being caught in the act.

“I-I was just about to leave.” You muttered under your breath, avoiding his gaze out of fear of what you might find there.

He rose up from the chair as quick as he could, stopping you by gently grabbing your wrist.

“No wait, don’t!”

You looked at him in disbelief, with your dry mouth open and your eyes wide. How could he still want you around after everything that had happened?

And then it hit you. You gasped, shaking your head frantically.

“Namjoon, I swear to God, it wasn’t me. I don’t know what happened. I-I didn’t even check my phone this morning. I went there and all those people..” It happened like whiplash. All the panic you had felt that morning started rising again in your chest, making your breaths short and fast as if you were about to drown.

His hands rested on your shoulders, and before you knew it, your head was on his chest and his arms wrapped around you.

“Breathe.” He whispered in your ear, trying to calm you by gently caressing your hear and counting aloud. Being always under the spotlight, he knew what a panic attack felt like, and he also knew how to get out of it. “Deep breaths, Y/N.”

When he felt your heartbeat getting back to a normal pace, he slowly let you out of his embrace, looking at you straight in the eyes.

“I know it wasn’t you. Some photos of us got leaked and.. well.. everyone knows.”

“Which pics?” You asked him, on the verge of crying.

He just shook his head.

“Don’t worry. Just normal pics and a couple in which we kiss. Nothing dramatic. But everyone is obviously freaking out about it.”

At least they’re not nudes.

Still, you couldn’t help but nervously walking circles in his room, biting your nails with a blank expression on your face.

“Did-did someone hack your phone? How could they be leaked? We’ve always been very careful with this kind of stuff.”

You stopped, staring into his eyes – looking for an answer.

You knew Namjoon like the back of your hands, and in other circumstances, you would have been able to tell that him avoiding your gaze was a clear sign of guilt. But just the thought of him doing something so mean and counterproductive was enough for you to not even consider the possibility. Instead, you interpreted his gesture as disgust towards you. After all, how could he not feel like that?

“It was Jungkook.” He said in the lowest tone possible, leaving you shocked.

“What?”

“He admitted it. He said he was upset for what happened yesterday and acted impulsively to hurt me – to hurt us.”

As soon as you heard those words, you felt your heart shattering into a million pieces – a sharp pain cutting straight through your chest. Your eyes filled with tears and all you could breathlessly manage to say was

“Jungkook?”

He nodded, but he still did not look you in the eyes. He knew what he’d find there: pain. He didn’t want to see that, he didn’t want to look at the consequences of his own actions. He didn’t want to feel the weight of what he had caused, and the gut-wrenching guilt that he knew would come with it.

I was right, then. Everything he did was just to hurt Namjoon. He never really cared about me.

You felt used. And stupid, terribly stupid. Tears gathered in your eyes and started copiously streaming down your cheeks.

He said he loved me. Why did he do it? He didn’t have to. He had already got what he wanted. Why? Why being so cruel?

“It’s not safe to go back to your place. I sent a couple of security guards to grab your things.”

“It’s fine. I’ll find a way. I just – I just have to call my family. They’re probably worried and they’ll need to lay low for a while.”

He fell silent for a moment and then took a deep breath, stepping closer to you.

“Stay here, Y/N. I mean.. until we find another place, this is as safe as it gets.”

You looked up at him, confused.

“Namjoon.. you don’t have to. I know you feel like it’s somehow your fault because it all comes with your job. But it’s not. And you don’t have to be nice to me after..” You paused, looking away. “..after what I did to you.”

No I don’t have to. I shouldn’t be nice to you. I shouldn’t even feel guilty for what I did. I know it was bad. I know it was more than necessary. But you still had it coming. Both you and Jungkook did. And I hate the fact that, although I know all of this, I still want you around. You broke my heart. I shouldn’t want you. I shouldn’t love you. But I do. And it’s not fair.

But life is far from being fair. That’s why people believe in God and the afterlife: because all the cruelty, the pain and the nonsense they face everyday would be overwhelmingly meaningless otherwise.

Love is not fair either. We can’t just turn off our feelings when we get hurt. We can’t force ourselves not to love someone. We can’t reason with emotions. They’ll always be stronger than judgement. People always know better until they don’t anymore. And they end up throwing their lives away just to feel that warmth in their heart once more.

“I don’t have to. But I’m still gonna do it.”

After all, maybe Jungkook was right. Maybe Namjoon really did get what he wanted already.

The reason you hate him right now might be a lie, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve this punishment. He’d hurt you anyway – that’s what he does. He breaks people he loves in one way or another. Didn’t he break your heart with this decision? Didn’t he? This is fair. All of this is just fair.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH. HOW DARED YOU?”

“Jimin, it’s fine. We can work with it.”

But Marco’s words had no effect on his fiancé, maybe because he wasn’t sure about them either. How could he be sure that the leak would not eventually involve them? After all, that was one of the many reasons why BTS member kept their relationship in secret: because misery loves company.

The problem with that leak wasn’t just the exposure of Namjoon’s and Y/N’s relationship. Every band member’s personal life was at stake right now. Journalists would compete like jackals between them to find the most shocking news on BTS. Fans would analyze every single detail and stalk them. The reason was simple: now everyone knew they had something to hide. If their leader did, it was quite a logical thing to assume that the others did too. And Park Jimin had definitely more to lose than anyone else.

Jungkook stared at him without saying a word, taking in all the hatred that was coming his way during that official meeting at Hybe. Everyone was there, including the members’ significant others. Including you. He didn’t even look at you, no matter how intense your disappointment-filled stare was.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, looking down at his own feet.

“Apologies won’t do shit, Jungkook. You have put everyone at risk. For God’s sake, Jimin is about to get married!”

Yoongi was furious. He couldn’t believe Jungkook had gone to such length.

“We will put it off, obviously. We can’t risk exposure right now. It would be a scandal.”

As always, Marco was one of the few still keeping his composure. Everyone else was pretty much on the verge of punching Jungkook right in the face.

Everyone, except Kim Taehyung. Through the whole meeting, he didn’t say a single word. He just kept silently staring at Namjoon – no expression on his face.

The other members tried to get some explanation from Jungkook, asking him what went through his mind or how he managed to leak those pictures. The answers he gave were everything but clear – which only made them angrier. But not Taehyung. He did not ask, he did not comment, he did not even react.

He was the only one there when you and Jungkook parted ways. He had also spent the whole night checking on you. He knew there was no way Jungkook leaked those pictures. He remembered his last words to you. He remembered the way he looked at you.

He was sure that the leak was Namjoon’s doing. He knew him. He could see the guilt behind his cold façade. But he still couldn’t understand why Jungkook was accepting all the blame and hatred – especially the one coming from you.

That’s why he decided to confront Namjoon after the meeting, taking him into a separate room.

“I knew it was you.”

He had always been a straightforward type, Kim Taehyung. He didn’t care about sugarcoating or manipulating. He had always felt repulsed by such behavior. Also, he knew that the only way to go with Namjoon was taking him off guard.

And it worked, judging by the nervous way in which Namjoon clenched his jaw.

“Did Jungkook tell you?”

“He didn’t need to. Your silence during the meeting was enough to confirm what I already thought.”

Namjoon stared at him coldly.

“And what? Are you gonna take his side now? Are you gonna tell the others?”

Taehyung sighed, looking at him like he was desperately trying to find something in his eyes. Something that once was there but that he couldn’t see anymore.

“Stop it, Joon. This – this thing between you and Jungkook is tearing us apart. Don’t you remember how we used to be when we were living in that horrible shared room? Fuck, we didn’t have a penny to our names, but we were brothers. We were always there for each other.”

“Yeah, go tell that to the guy who fucked two of my girlfriends.”

“I did.” He exhaled, looking at him as if those words filled him with pain. “We all did. We did it for you, Namjoon.” He paused, keeping his stare in Namjoon’s eyes. “Are you really so blinded by hatred that you can’t even feel a tiny bit of guilt for what you’ve done? How could you stand there silently? We took your side, we protected and supported you – and you backstabbed us without giving it a second thought. Jimin and Marco.. do you know what you’ve done to them? They – they’ve put so much work in that wedding. You know what it means for them.”

He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that Namjoon was capable of something like that – that he could throw away years of friendship and loyalty just for his personal revenge against Jungkook.

“So you’re with him now. That’s what you’re telling me. That I’m the villain and he’s the hero.”

Taehyung sighed, rubbing his face with his palm. And then he looked up at him, shaking his head with a bitter smile on his lips.

“I guess you really are that blinded, then.”

He walked towards the door. He almost had a foot out when Namjoon lashed back at him.

“He’s not Jesus Christ, you know?”

Taehyung turned slightly, just enough to look at him.

“There’s no Jesus Christ in this God forsaken band. But I never thought we’d end up having two Judas.”

There was a moment of silence in which they both stared coldly at one another.

“What are you gonna do about it, then?”

“I guess I’ll start by saying I don’t owe you an answer.”

I don’t owe you anything at all, as a matter of fact. But maybe there’s something I owe Jungkook.

taglist: @namjin-fangirling-again @bluesharksandfish @effielumiere @bangtannoonalvg @koremis​ @namjooningelsewhere​ @kaithezaftig​

[theneondemonx]

I lovee how the characters in Judas are not plain black and white and it's relatable af to real life. understand that jk is such an asshole to literally pursue his hyung's gf, and the oc also cheated on her boyfriend with someone he had asked to stay away from, but i think jk and oc's attraction is very carnal and maybe oc feels intrigued by jk while namjoon is too similar as herself so she's quite figured out about him, i know for sure that we girls lowkey love ourselves a bit challenge with our men.. like maybe with namjoon everything feels too right to straighforward while with jk its a whole new emotional rollercoaster.

Also I think there is some underlying issues between namjoon and jk? not only because the whole ex gf caught in the act thing. Or maybe jk is just pissed because namjoon just given him a death sentence after that incident being the whole group is not really speaking with him?

I just cant wait for the next update, this story really good! stay safe and healthy dear author :)

Awwww thank you so much!! I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this fic. It means so much to me 😍😍😍

Yeah, I feel like jk and oc have a that kind of attraction - very carnal and passionate. The tempation was too strong to resist it. And it's bad, but it's also intriguing in his way. Idk, I love this kind of dynamic ahahhaha I also like oc and Namjoon. I think they were on the same wave lenght until jk came into the picture. And they could still figure things out, even though shit is getting soooo complicated with Namjoon snapping lol

As for the dynamic between jk and Namjoon, you'll soon see more of that in the new chapter eheheheh But yeah, it definitely has deeper and more psychological roots than it may look

[theneondemonx]

OHHH, that makes a lot more sense😱 thank you for clearing that up😄❤️ this whole time I thought Jungkook had slept with Joon’s ex and it was just a BJ, and I remember reading that part but I don’t know why I thought more had gone on😅 okay well it makes me happy that he is serious about OC cause I love those two together, like when he went and banged on her door and demanded her to tell him if she “loves” Namjoon, I found that HOT (sorry Joon😭❤️) and then they had steamy sex, I was like OH SNaP👏🏻😄

Yeah I get it can be a little confusing, since the ones to talk about it are usually Namjoon and oc, and they refer to it as "fucking his girlfriend" cause.. yeah, of course it's the most logical thing to assume. 😅

Jk and oc are a pretty hot duo. Like daaaamn the sexual tension between those two - you can cut that with a knife ahhahah

I hope you'll like the new chapter. I just finished writing it, so it will be out soon :3

[theneondemonx]

What that anon pointed out from that convo between Jungkook & OC is so true!! You did so good writing that part (the whole series is a MASTERPIECE) that part really shocked me I was like DAMN, poor Joon😭😅 but like how could OC be okay with knowing that?😅 like I would feel some type of way knowing Jungkook fucked Joon’s ex girl too… did Jungkook sleep with Joon’s ex one time only? Or did he have an affair like he is currently having with OC? , was he only interested in OC because she was Namjoon’s girl? Or it’s different this time and he has never felt this way before?😱 sorry for all these questions 🤣🤣 This chapter really had me thinking🤔

Jungkook did not TECHNICALLY fuck her. Like.. not in the "penis-vagina" sense, if you get me. What went down is that one night he was kinda tipsy and horny, joon's girlfriend made a move on him and he went for it. But Namjoon found out on the spot, walking on them while she was still giving him a blowjob. So yeah.. THAT SUCKS (literally and metaphorically lol). But oc doesn't know the whole story so she doesn't even have the tiniest of excuses. All she knows is Namjoon's pov and that's it. For all she knows (and also for all Joon knows), the affair could have lasted for months. Jk explained himself to Joon.. but come on, how could he trust him again after that?

Jungkook's interest in oc, on the other hand, is different. What he really wanted in the beginning was to exploit her power on Namjoon in order to settle the feud. I think that her being Joon's girlfriend still played a role on the initial attraction he felt towards her, but it quickly evolved into something different. It's really weird, but the fact that Jungkook admires Namjoon so much, and being oc so similar to Joon, is what actually made him feel a certain way towards her. Like.. she has the characteristics he had always looked up to - and ofc he's also physically attracted to her. Idk, I guess it's all just a chemistry thing - sparks flying and that kind of stuff. So yeah, he has never felt this way before. Still a terrible way to go about it ahhahaha

[theneondemonx]

Hi author! Just wanted to tell u that I love 'Judas' so much and I can't wait for you to post the next chapter 🤩 I'm so in love with jk x oc. I know they did really bad stuff but I just get the feeling that they are starcrossed lover. I really like Namjoon too, and I love the fact that we've seen more of his flawed side. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm getting a bit of - uhm - kinda manipulative vibes from him? Idk, I get them also from oc, and jk strikes me as the only straightforward character in the mix even though he's still a little shit 🤣

I see there are a lot of mixed feelings on this fic ahahaha I LOVE IT. You guys are sending me 💜

In my opinion.. yes, Namjoon is a bit manipulative. He doesn't really do it on purpose most of the times, but he is. And oc is too. They are two emotionally manipulative people - which for me is one of their biggest flaws.

And yes, I also think that Jungkook is more straightforward about stuff. Which sometimes translates to confusing and contradicting behavior. That's the main reason why oc can't really manipulate jk: because she can't predict him - NO ONE CAN ahahaha

Still, Namjoon's faults are not an excuse for the shit that jk and oc had done. Especially since they backstabbed Joon just out of the strong attraction they feel towards each other.